婚情咨商（2019）

She's not saying anything.
他抹着眼泪 她就那么坐着
She's just sitting there while he weeps.
-她可太坏了 -可能是这男人有问题
- Oh, she's awful. - It might be him.
假设他砍死了他的孩子
Supposing he's murdered one of their kids with an axe
但刚刚才意识到自己的行为有多血腥可怕
and the full horror of it has only just dawned on him?
那她打他 是因为他杀了孩子
And she punched him because of the murdering
还是因为他顿悟过来了
or because of the dawning?
你知道我什么意思 就类似的事情
Well, you know what I mean. Something like that,
需要咨♥询♥的那种
that would require counseling.
以婚姻为代价的事
The marital equivalent.
可能是外遇
An affair maybe?
外遇怎么能和谋杀亲子相提并论
An affair is not the marital equivalent of murdering your child.
我就知道你会这么讲
Well, you would say that.
别管他们了 能继续说咱俩的事吗
Can we forget about them and get back to us?
不是很想 他们把我俩衬托得还挺和谐
I'm reluctant. They make us look good.
只剩不到五分钟了
We've got less than five minutes.
我们都没想好从哪里开始说
We haven't even agreed on where to begin.
我们不能聊马修的事
We can't talk about Matthew
因为那不是根本原因
because that's not the root cause.
起码这周不能聊
Not this week anyway.
是不是该聊聊为什么我们不再上♥床♥了
Shall we talk about why we stopped making love?
天 可别
Oh, Christ, no.
难道还得再往前追溯吗
So we've got to go further back than that?
多往前
How far back?
我们那会儿压力很大
We've got loads.
我的工作
My work.
你的工作
Your work.
迪伦学拼写很困难
Dylan's difficult spell.
你妈妈生命垂危 妈的
Your mum dying. Bloody hell.
如果你仔细想的话 就好像英国脱欧
I mean, if you think about it, it's like Brexit.
我们可能要空谈上两年
We could have two years of talks
也就只能找出问题的根源
before we even agree what the issues are.
但脱欧更像离婚啊
Brexit is about divorce, though.
你这个看法就比较消极了
That's a negative way of looking at it.
后面那对怎么样了
What's happening behind me?
她在和他说话
She's talking to him.
她看着生气吗
Does she seem angry?
没有
No.
那你谋杀亲子的猜想是吹了
Well, there goes your child-murdering theory.
为什么
Why?
至少他不是杀人那个
At least, he didn't do the murdering.
如果她没在冲他吼个不停
If she's not shouting at him over and over again,
"你杀了我的孩子"
"You murdered my child," Then...
那就不是杀人
No, no.
是她出轨了
She's had an affair.
那她为什么打他
So why did she punch him?
我不知道
I don't know.
说得好像我们不了解他俩在经历什么一样
It's as if we hardly know them.
-我们能聊回脱欧吗 -随你
- Can we go back to Brexit? - If we must.
脱欧就是离婚 不是我态度消极
It is a divorce, though. I'm not being negative.
你是想说我们也在往那方向发展吗
Are you saying that's where we're headed?
你能不能站起来
And will you stand up?
-当然不是了 -我只是想确认下
- No, of course not. - I'm just checking
你没有在考虑离婚吧
that's the last thing on your mind.
实话吗
Honestly?
实话
Honestly.
我不知道事情会发展成什么样
I mean, I don't know how it can be,
尤其是我们现在要去见肯扬
not when we're heading into Kenyon.
你没有在考虑离婚吧
Is it the last thing on your mind?
没有
Yes.
简直可笑
That's ridiculous.
那只不过是一种可能性罢了
It's one of the ways that this might play out.
想想脱欧吧 很多人都觉得脱欧是个
Think about Brexit. A lot of people think there are opportunities
带来腾飞的好机会
at times of great change.
那你的意思是 你离开我反而会过得更好咯
So you're saying you might be better off on your own?
什么
What?
不不不 我只是在讨论国事
No, no. I was talking about the country.
那"腾飞的好机会"
So what are the opportunities for great change
是什么意思
that you're talking about?
我们不用再纠结于各种繁文缛节
We won't get bogged down in all that red tape.
还可以谈自己的贸易协议
We can make our own trade deals.
我彻底懵了
I'm completely lost now.
我不想再讨论什么国事了
I don't want to talk about the country anymore.
我想弄明白为什么"婚姻脱欧"
I'm trying to understand why a marital Brexit
对你来说会是个好机会
might be a great opportunity for you.
你是想和谁"谈贸易协议"
Who are you going to do trade deals with?
-我没有... -就我所知
- OK. I'm not... - As far as I know,
你没在和意大利或德国女人约会
you weren't seeing any Italian or German women.
我也不觉得你能有机会
And I can't see you having any more luck
勾搭上中国或者美国女人
with the Chinese or the Americans.
简直是对牛弹琴
This is all rubbish.
我只是说 没必要像《卫报》上说的那样
I'm just saying it doesn't need to be the great catastrophe
觉得脱欧就是个灾难
that the Guardian thinks it is.
你投票支持脱欧了 是不是
You voted for Brexit, didn't you?
我投了又怎么样
Well, what if I did?
但你没有在英国投票的权力
You can't vote in the UK.
-我登记为选民了 -你去登记了
- I registered. - You registered?
你登记为选民 就为了给那该死的脱欧投个票吗
You registered so you could vote for bleeding bastard Brexit?
不许按门铃
Do not touch that doorbell.
我们讨论了那么多次 你居然还投票支持脱欧
You voted for Brexit despite every conversation we've had?
我可是鼓足了勇气的
And it took giant balls,
听好了
let me tell you.
所有我认识的其他人都在唠叨
When everybody I knew was going on
说脱欧会是个灾难
about what a disaster it was gonna be.
所以你就投了脱欧吗 你这么干
And that's why you did it? Because everyone else you know
仅仅就是为了"标新立异"吗
was doing something different?
确实有这方面的因素
that was part of the appeal, yes.
不过我也有复杂
I also have some complicated
但站得住脚的社会经济理论
but defensible socioeconomic theories.
说一个来听听
Defend one of them.
我主要是想气你的那些朋友
I mostly wanted to annoy your friends.
那你目的达成了
Well, you'll do that.
他们再也不会跟你说话了
They'll never speak to you again.
等等
Hold on.
这事儿没必要拿出去八卦吧
It's not something that should be gossiped about.
这是私事
It's personal.
如果我不告诉他们 你要怎么气他们呢
So how will you annoy my friends if I don't tell them?
我投了票 就算气到他们了
I was annoying them in the moment with my vote.
我可不想让他们太难堪
I don't wanna rub their faces in it.
这个国家真的需要向前看了 好重振旗鼓
The country needs to move on, to heal.
你能拿最低的薪水去护理院工作吗
You can go and work in a care home for the minimum wage.
你能取代我们失去的东欧人吗
You can replace all the eastern Europeans we've lost.
我已经准备好贡献我的力量了
I'm prepared to do my bit.
虽然救死扶伤这方面我不太了解
I'd be useless if it was anything to do with death or sickness.
修厕所也不太行
Or lavatories.
其他的我都还行
But anything else.
你为什么不问我
Why didn't you just ask me?
这下好了
Right,
我们要花上整整50分钟讨论脱欧了
we're talking about Brexit for the entire 50 minutes.
行吧
Fine.
马修是怎么投的
How did Matthew vote?
你觉得呢
How do you think?