过家家（2014）

我是要你们俩合得来
Well, you're hitting it off with him.
噢 对
Oh, no.
呃 或许还可以补救一下
Well, maybe we can save it.
# 有一首歌♥唱着厌倦的叹息 #
There's a song the sigh of the weary
# 不甚美好的时光 不甚美好的时光 #
Hard times, hard times
# 不要再次上演 #
Come again no more
- 多美好啊 - 闭嘴
- Beautiful, isn't it? - Shut up.
- # 你徘徊了数日 # - # 喔 喔 喔 #
- Many days you've lingered - Ooh ooh ooh
- # 在我舱门外徘徊 # - # 喔 喔 #
- Around my cabin door - Ooh ooh
还是得交给你 扎克
Gotta hand it to you, Zach.
夏洛特真的很喜欢那本书
Char really loved that book.
呃 我们才看了五页
Well, we only read the first five pages.
- 对不起我睡着了 - 没关系
- Sorry I fell asleep. - That's okay.
不是人人都适合看经典著作
The classics aren't for everyone.
- 噢 - 如果你不介意的话
- Oh... - If you'll excuse me,
我要去给她放摇篮曲了
I'm gonna go cue up her night music.
肖邦还是贝多芬
Chopin or Beethoven?
当然是贝多芬
Definitely Beethoven.
我喜欢那条狗
I love that dog!
噢 看看这严肃的小表情
Ooh, look at that serious face.
太严肃了 你为什么这么严肃
So serious. Why are you so serious?
等等 你为什么这么严肃
Wait. Why are you so serious?
噢 天 不要
Oh, God, no.
扎克
Zach.
扎 扎克
Z-Zach?
噢 我的天哪
Oh,mon dieu!
- 为什么会这样 - 我需要你帮忙 兄弟
- Why? - I really need you, buddy.
好吧 夏洛特
All right. Charlotte,
人生中总会有这样自然而然 就发生的事情
this is a totally natural part of life's process...
没事的 别担心
It's all right. Don't worry about it.
这很正常
It's totally normal to...
- 呃 - 不不不不
- Uhh... - No, no, no, no.
对不起 夏洛特
I'm sorry, Charlotte.
你是个可爱的小东西
You're a beautiful creature,
但你的肠子就跟恶魔之管似的
but your bowels are like the Devil's pipes.
兄弟 你得把这儿整理一下 然后把我弄出去
You gotta get it together, man, and get me out of here.
我们得把这房♥子烧光
We have to burn this house to the ground.
- 什么 - 我们得
- What? - We have to
把这房♥子烧光
burn this house to the ground!
我儿子走到客厅里
My son came into the living room
拿着胶水棒 带闪光的那种
th o of the glue sticks, the glitter kind.
噢 闪光胶棒 我的爱
Oh, yeah, glitter glue. Huge fan.
嗯 里面 里面是空的
Yeah. It was, uh... empty.
等等 噢 不
Wait. Oh, no!
哇 你不会想要解开这个秘密的
Whoa! That is a mystery you do not wanna solve.
故事的结局不尽人意
There's no good ending to that story.
噢 天哪
Oh, no.
我无法相信夏洛特都一岁了
I cannot even imagine Charlotte being a year old.
仿佛昨天她还是一个小家伙
It seems like just yesterday she was this tiny little nugget,
现在她慢慢长大 都能体验生活了
and now she's up and, like, experiencing life, you know?
太美妙了
It's just so amazing.
她的微笑 噢 我的天 她的微笑
And her smile... oh, my God, her smile,
让我忘记一切烦恼
just like takes me to another place.
她的微笑真的可以让我解忧
The smile really does it to me.
呃 玛姬 你 你
Uh, Maggie, you... you have a...
噢 我的天 我牙齿里塞东西了吗
Oh, my God, do I have something in my teeth?
- 不是 - 是炸鱿鱼吗
- No. - Is it calamari?
因为我吃了很多很多的鱿鱼
'Cause I've been eating a shit ton of squid.
呃 跟你的牙没关系 不是你的牙
Yeah, not your teeth. Not your teeth.
噢 我的天
Oh, my God...
噢 我的天
Oh, my God.
别看了好吗 你知道这是什么
Would you look at that? You know what it is.
我一提到我的女儿
I was talking about my daughter,
就开始自动分泌乳汁
and so human milk began excreting from my breasts
然后就成这样了
as it does.
我没穿普通胸罩 所以就出现这种状况了
I'm not wearing my regs bra, and here I am in this situation.
所以亲爱的朋友 我要离开一下
So I'm gonna excuse myself, dear friend.
没事
It's okay.
- 没有用 - 别贴的太靠近
- It's not working. - Don't get it too close
别烧到乳晕
to your areolas. I don't want them to burn.
- 真是糟透了 - 好吧 你知道吗
- This is the worst! - Okay, you know what?
像你这样在第一次约会就分泌出乳汁的情况
So you excreted human milk on a first date.
我们都曾经遇到过
We've all been there.
- 你没有 - 还没有而已
- You haven't. - Yet.
希望有一天会发生
Hopefully it will someday.
- 我该怎么做 - 要不
- What am I gonna do? - You know what?
我们换一下上衣好了
I'm gonna give you my shirt, you give me yours.
然后你再回去
And then you'll just go back out there
装作什么都没发生的样子
and pretend that nothing happened.
男人很蠢的 他们都不会看衣服
Men are stupid. They don't notice shirts.
你懂的 他们看的是这里
You know, they're looking here.
- 那里也算衣服的一部分 - 好吧
- That's where a shirt is. - Yeah.
不过他们看的是衣服里面的东西
But they're looking at what's underneath
然后想 我怎么才能上手摸过去啊
and they're thinking, "How can I get my hands on it?"
- 怎么了 - 我想回家了
- What? - I think I'm gonna go home.
别别别别别 我们现在不是做得很好吗
No, no, no, no, no! We were doing so good!
不 一点都不好
No, we're not doing good.
我们躲在公共厕所里 还半裸着
We're half-naked in a public bathroom.
在你回去之前之前先等一下
Hold on one second before you make that call,
因为下一位单身汉来自纽黑文
because our next guy, he's from New Haven,
是个建筑师 还刚刚救了
is an architect, and he's just rescued
两只迷你雪纳瑞
two miniature Schnauzers!
你知道吗 就算是汤姆·汉克斯本人走进来
You know what, if Tom Hanks himself walked in here,
我也没兴趣了
I don't think I'd be interested.
我知道 但是玛姬 他有船
I know, but Maggie, he has a boat.
不感兴趣 我还没准备好
I don't care. I'm not ready.
我还没准备好
I'm not ready.
我确实很兴奋
I got really excited,
但是当我走进这里 就感觉万分异样
but then I got here, and it was super-weird,
而且我一直在想着夏洛特
and all I can think about is Charlotte.
对不起 我感觉自己像个
I'm sorry. I feel like I was
步步紧逼的皮条客
pushing you like a straight up pimp.
其实 只要我的身体
You know, it's actually kind of nice to know
准备好开始活动了
that when I am ready to get my body worked,
就会有一堆怪胎会来敲我的门
there's gonna be a whole bunch of weirdoes
这种感觉挺好的
ready to knock my door down.
好了 我去拿包
All right, let me go get my bag,
我们离开这里吧 好吗
and we'll just get outta here, okay?
等会儿 嘿 我是不是听到了一些
No, no, no, hey, I think I heard something
关于那个建筑师的信息
about an architect.
- 玛姬 - 或许你应该留下
- Maggie... - Maybe you should stay.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
宝贝 你不是总是等着看大鲸鱼吗
You always wanted to see a whale, baby girl.
我是挺像近岸潮的
I do look good in a beachy wave.
好吧 好吧 好吧 你留在这里
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You stay here,
我要回去跟夏洛特宝贝躺在沙发上
I'm gonna go crash on the couch with Char-Bar
看个经典老片《西雅图不眠夜》
and good old Sleepless in Seattle.
好吧 呃 我确定一下
Okay. Well, let me just make sure
他是不是我的菜
he's really my type.
噢 他太可爱了
Ooh! He is cute.
牙齿洁净 我很重视这个
He does have good teeth, which is a thing for me.
好吧 我要上了
You know what? Okay, I'm gonna do it,
但是 我应该把衬衫换一下
but you know what, I should change my shirt,
因为 这里有 乳汁
because there's ba... and there's milk...
玛姬
Maggie?
嗨 你是那个建筑师吗
Hi. Are you the architect?
- 对 我是 - 噢
- Yes, I am. - Oh.
- 我觉得我们挺配的 - 嗯 我也是这样想
- I guess we're a match. - Yeah, I guess so.
那 呃 你喜欢派对吗
So, uh... you like to party?
想找乐子吗
Like to have fun?