过家家（2014）

不
No!
嘿
Hey.
噢 感谢上帝你终于回来了
Oh, thank the sweet lord you're home.
等等 怎么了 发生什么事了
Wait, what's wrong? Is everything okay?
- 呃 - 嗨
- Well... - Hi!
一个美好的夜晚就这么被
What was supposed to be a night of sophistication
橡胶手套 漂白剂和一堆乱七八糟的突发状况给毁了
ended with rubber gloves and bleach and utter chaos.
- 她拉你身上了 - 对
- She poop all over you? - Yeah.
- 我已经司空见惯了 - 好吧
- Happens to us every day. - Well...
愿上帝保佑你 愿他一直保佑你
God bless you. And keep you.
因为我连助产员训练课程
Because even with my doula training,
- 也没做好准备 - 好吧
- I was ill-prepared. - Okay.
你好 玛姬
Hello, Maggie.
有史以来最恐怖的噩梦
The most horrible dream.
这个浴缸里有一头大白鲸
There's this white whale in this tub,
然后亚哈船长
and then Captain Ahab was...
不 布鲁斯 那不是梦
No, Bruce, that was not a dream.
是真实的惨景
That was a living nightmare.
很多很多的黄黄的水
So much brown water...
我懂 我懂 起来吧
I know, I know. Come on.
你俩不是说父舅组合掌控全局吗
I thought the Dunkles had everything under control.
不 别跟我提父舅组合了
No, speak not of the Dunkles.
就像亚哈他自己
Like Ahab himself,
不也被黑潮给吞没了
we were overwhelmed by a dark tide.
没错 好了 晚安 父舅组合
Fair enough. All right, "P", Dunkles.
嘿 我们给艾玛阿姨 发张照片吧
Hey. Wanna send Aunt... Let's send Aunt Emma a pic.
你觉得呢
What do you think?
噢
Oh!
耶
Yeah!
- 噢 噢 - 噢 我的天
- Ooh... oh! - Oh, my God!
- 对不起 - 噢 我的天 不
- I'm so sorry. - Oh, my gosh... no.
- 你还好吗 - 我还好 你呢
- Are you okay? - I am. Are you okay?
还好 我是说 这个
Yeah. I mean, this is...
我
I'm...
- 给你 - 对不起
- Here you go. - I'm so sorry.
没事 我没注意到
No, I wasn't paying attention.
没事 是我没留神
No, I was less paying attention.
对不起 我是不是把你的面包都弄脏了啊
I'm sorry, did I ruin all your bread?
我 反正我也不喜欢这个味儿的
I-I didn't like this batch anyway.
我 真是对不起
I'm so... I'm so sorry.
我 我 我家里还有好多面包
I-I-I have... tons of bread at my house.
- 我能想象到 - 是不是感觉我好像
- Of course you do. - That makes me sound like
- 一个疯子 - 没有 别这么说
- a crazy person. - No, please.
我现在穿着朋友的这件满是乳汁的衣服 所以
I'm covered in my friend's human milk, so...
你不说我都没看见
You got me beat on that.
对不起 我甚至都不认识你
I'm sorry, I don't even know you.
我就不跟你说那些污污的细节了
I don't need to get into the dirty deets.
其实 我挺希望你跟我说说的
Actually, I wish you would,
因为 老实说 我有很多问题想问你
'cause, to be honest, I have so many questions.
对了 我叫丹
I'm Dan, by the way.
噢 呃 玛姬 不 我是说 艾玛
Oh, uh, Maggie. I mean, no, Emma.
对不起 这是玛姬的乳汁
I'm sorry. This is Maggie's milk.
- 好吧 - 我用不着一直
- Okay. - I don't need to keep
- 提这个事 但是 - 我在想
- referring to these, but... - I'm trying to...
我在想要不要找个地方
I'm imagining it's here or up here...
挖个洞钻进去
I'm just digging myself a hole.
我还是不说话了
I'm gonna stop talking.
如果有空的话能跟我约个会吗
Would you like to go out with me sometime?
呃 好 当然
Uh, yeah, sure.
我会很期待的
I would love that.
很好
Okay, great.
会有面包吗
Will there be bread?
我超爱那部电影
Love that movie.
嗯 你看 我平常不会带着面包到处走的
Yeah, see, I don't normally just walk around with bread.
噢 别那么说 我挺喜欢面包的
Oh, don't say that. I love bread.
所以我才一直在跟你说话
That's the only reason I'm still talking to you.
我是希望牛角面包不会掉下来或者
I just hope like a croissant doesn't fall out or anything...
嗯 我那儿有很多牛角面包
Yeah, I have lots of croissants in there,
然后我就把它们丢到地上
then I drop it down,
骗女人来跟我说话
and I trick, women into talking to me.
好吧 见效了 见效了
Well, it worked. It worked.
德鲁 乔纳森
Drew? Jonathan?
你们在这里干吗
What are you doing here?
我们来这里重塑你的身体
We're here to remake your body.
你比你想象的
You're worth a lot more
更加有价值 玛姬·卡鲁索
than you think, Maggie Caruso.
经过我们的改造后
When we're done with you,
你会成为市场上最炙手可热的宝物
you'll be the hottest property on the market.
- 噢 - 嗯
- Oh! - Mm...
噢 噢
Oh... ohh!
你会爱上一个
You gotta love a man
穿格子衫的男人
in a plaid shirt.
- 用砖把墙砌好 - 我喜欢
- Bricks up the wall. - I like it.
安德鲁和莱斯利想要一个照他们愿望清单
Andrew and Leslie want a move-in ready home
改造的精♥装♥房♥
with everything on their wish list.
这种既新潮 又传统的
This trendy, traditional...
玛姬 这个画面是不是很棒
Mags, isn't this screen amazing?
看看乔纳森那双浅褐色的双眼
Look at Jonathan's hazel brown eyes.
感觉他俩就在我们身边一样
I feel like they're right here in the room with us.
我俩确实就在你们身边
We are right here in the room with you.
我们会在每个房♥间里都装上
And we can install California closets
加利福尼亚橱柜
in every room of your house.
- 噢 我的天 - 现在
- Oh, my God. - Now,
让年轻美男来为你们服务吧
let's get both of you down to the studs.
噢 耶 就是这样
Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
噢 德鲁
Oh... Drew...
就是那样
that is just about right.
这些都是简单的活 你们可以自己
That's just the easy stuff. You can get yourself...
我要你们两个都来为我服务
I'm gonna get you down to the studs.
代我向乔纳森和德鲁问好
Tell Jonathan and Drew I say hello.
嗯
Mm