新冠时期的爱情（2020）

隔离开始后几周...
避开拥挤的过道
Avoid crowded aisles,
跟每个人都保持两米距离
stay six feet away from everyone at all times.
别走神 别用手摸脸
Do not let your mind wander. Do not touch your face.
别忘了用湿巾擦你的信♥用♥卡♥
Do not forget to wipe your credit card down with sanitary wipes.
-明白 -你确定你可以吗
‐ Got 'em. ‐ Are you sure you're up for this?
隔离期间一般都是我去采购
I usually do all the quarantine shopping.
我知道东西都摆在哪儿 我可以快去快回
I know where everything is. I can get in and out‐‐
把购物清单给我 保证全给你买♥♥回来
Just give me the list. I'll cross everything off.
你不是唯一想出门的人
You're not the only one who wants to get out of the house.
好吧
Okay.
祝你好运
Good luck.
我能跟宝宝吻别吗
Can I kiss the baby goodbye?
如果你一去不回 我会告诉她爸爸有多么勇敢
If you don't come back, I'll tell her how brave her daddy was.
没问题的
Got this.
我能搞定
Got it.
该死
Shit.
我可以的
Still got it.
我对此有不好的预感
I don't have a good feeling about this.
爱
在新冠
蔓延时
第一季 第一集
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
我很喜欢
I love it.
那正好
Great,
因为我就是为你做的
'cause I made it for you.
没了你我该怎么办呢
What would I do without you?
可能就会把口腔里讨厌的飞沫
Probably spray your nasty oral droplets
喷向易感人群吧
all over vulnerable people.
这倒也是
That's very true.
美丽的口罩献给美丽的女孩
Beautiful mask for a beautiful girl.
-要做足底按♥摩♥吗 -请吧
‐ Foot rub? ‐ Yes, please.
你的腿毛是怎么回事
What, w‐what is happening with the hairiness on the leg?
这叫做"女权主义"
Oh, it's called "Feminism".
你可能会想查一查
You might wanna look it up.
-女权什么 -女权主义
‐ Fema‐what? ‐ Femi‐nism.
好吧
Oh, okay.
天哪
Oh my God.
冲澡的帅哥又来了
Hot shower guy.
-这也洗得太快了 -这些人都洗得很快
‐ That was a short one. ‐ They're all too short.
对我来说不幸的是 我觉得他是直男
Unfortunately, for me, I think he's straight.
不过对你来说这是好消息了
But that is great for you.
他不是我喜欢的类型
He is not my type.
我怀疑他这辈子都没读过一本书
I doubt he's ever read a book in his entire life.
好吧 我现在是真的很无聊了
Okay, I'm officially bored.
你想干什么
What do you want to do?
我不知道
I don't know.
你想干什么
What do you wanna do?
你想干什么
What do you wanna do?
你想干什么
What do you wanna do?
隔离期间
跳舞派对
爬上你的搭档挑战 第一遍
Climb Your Partner Challenge, take one.
在此视频摄制过程中
无人受到伤害
网课烂死了
Online college blows.
不敢相信我们就这么错过了大一下学期
I can't believe we're missing the end of our freshman years.
是啊 但你看过预测吗
Yeah, but have you seen the projections?
他们说死亡人数可能会达到20万
They're saying, like, 200,000 people could die!
但大多数都是老年人 不是吗
But, like, mostly old people, right?
为什么不能让所有65岁以上的人在家待着
Why can't everyone over the age of 65 stay at home
好让我们剩下的人出去推动经济发展呢
so the rest of us can go out and, like, stimulate the economy?
不是一切都跟钱有关 乔丹
Not everything's about money, Jordan.
这件事情对黑色和棕色人种社区以及贫民窟
This thing is disproportionately affecting
造成的影响要更大
black and brown and poor communities.
你少来那套白人特权了
You need to check your white privilege!
告诉你 我昨晚看了《相助》这部电影
For your information, I watched "The Help" last night.
乔丹 这电影问题大了去了 你在逗我吗
Jordan! That movie is so problematic! Are you joking?
怎么会 我都看哭了
Why? It made me cry.
好吧 我该从何说起呢
Okay, where should I start?
这电影的编剧和导演都是白人
It was written and directed by a white man,
而且片子传达的完全就是白人救世主思想
and it totally promotes the white savior trope.
你都去伯克利读书了 怎么会不懂这个道理
How is it that you go to Berkeley and you don't get this?
我现在真的不想听说教
You know, I really don't need a lecture right now.
我完全不想管这事
I'm totally over this.
美国人的问题就是他们太自私了
The problem with Americans is that they're selfish,
他们不愿做出哪怕一点点牺牲
and they're not willing to make the smallest sacrifices
来保证其他人的安全
to keep other people safe.
所以你要去做核酸检测吗
So are you gonna get tested?
想都别想 做鼻拭子可疼了
No way. That swab they stick up your nose really hurts.
所以我得做出牺牲 你就不用
So, I have to make sacrifices, but you don't?
我又不出门 是你要出去
I'm not leaving my bubble, you are.
行 好吧
Okay. All right.
你这身打扮可真时髦
That's a good look.
是啊 这是我的视频电♥话♥装
Oh, yeah, it's my video call apparel.
上半身工作装 下半身派对装
Business up top, party on the bottom.
你似乎从没这么忙过
You seem busier than ever.
全球疫情让人们意识到
Ah, it takes a global pandemic for people to realize
他们需要人寿保险
they need life insurance.
你真要这样吗
Seriously?
每小时都要清洗和消毒
You're supposed to wash and sanitize every hour.
洗手 不是洗耳朵
Your hands, not your ear.
要是我用手摸了耳朵
What if I touch my ear with my hand
然后又摸了脸呢
and then I touch my face?
我一直想告诉你
Hey, I've been meaning to tell you
乔丹会过来和我们一起隔离
Jordan's gonna come and quarantine with us.
乔丹 索菲的男朋友吗
Jordan? Sophie's boyfriend?
-他要搬来和我们一起住吗 -要么他过来
‐ He's moving in with us? ‐ It was either that,
要么她就威胁要去他们家隔离
or she was threatening to go quarantine with his family.
这事我没话语权吗
And I have no say in this?
我们都没有话语权
We have no say in this.
这是因为你对她百依百顺
That's 'cause you cater to her every need.
我才没有
I do not.
有多少家长
How many parents put up
会挂"欢迎回家隔离"的横幅来欢迎孩子
a "Welcome Home to our Quaranteen" banner for their kids?
我只是想缓和一下紧张气氛
I was just trying to soften the blow.
你知道咱家女儿很容易变得神经兮兮
You know how intense our daughter can be.
那玩意还要挂多久
How long is that gonna stay up, anyway?
你想摘就摘
Feel free to take it down.
不过既然你都打算摘横幅了 不如你再洗洗碗
And while you're at it, why don't you do some dishes
做一两顿饭吧
or, I don't know, cook a meal or two,
因为这几个礼拜都是我在洗衣做饭打扫
'cause I've been cooking and cleaning up after you guys for weeks,
我受够了
and I'm tired of it.
我只是希望你能拒绝她
I just wish you had said no to her.
那你怎么不去拒绝她呢 保罗
Why don't you say no to her, Paul?
看着她脑袋爆♥炸♥
Watch her head explode?
-我会开口的 -那就好
‐ Oh, I will. ‐ Good.
乔丹明天就去做核酸检测
Hey, Jordan's getting tested tomorrow
没问题的话他这周末就会搬进来
so he can move in this weekend.
我爱你 爸爸
I love you, Dad!
我给你做了酸面包 亲爱的
I made you sourdough, sweetheart.
挺香的 谢了
Smells good, thanks.
我得去给乔丹发短♥信♥提醒他把泳衣带上
I'm gonna go text Jordan to remind him to bring his swimsuit.
你怎么不开口呢 爸爸
Way to say no, Dad.
我还能怎么办
Oh, what was I supposed to do?
你都已经答应了
You already said yes.
也许我们应该直接告诉她
Maybe we should just tell her.
告诉她我们不喜欢乔丹吗
That we don't like Jordan?
告诉她我们分居了 你搬出去了
That we're separated and you don't live here anymore.
你不是说你不想看见她脑袋爆♥炸♥吗
I thought you said you didn't want to see her head explode.
也许她没我们说得这么大惊小怪
Maybe she's not as dramatic as we're giving her credit for.
天哪
Oh my God!
天哪 天哪
Oh my God! Oh my God!
怎么了