爱，死亡与机器人

《爱 死亡 & 机器人》
集名：《另一个巨物》
这个世界
This world.
就是一个紧绷 污秽的括约肌 塞满了污秽与疾病
It's a clenched, feculent sphincter, packed with filth and disease.
它颤抖着等待释放
It quivers for release.
它在呼唤着救世主
It cries out for a savior.
它在呼唤着我 呼唤着那个他们口中的…
It cries out for me, for the one they call…
快了
Soon. Soon.
反正也许快了吧
Maybe soon, anyway.
（桑切斯）
还是空的
Still empty.
我空着肚子可没法策划全球统治大业
I can't plot total global domination on an empty stomach.
我那两个可怜的奴仆跑哪去了
Where are my pathetic minions?
他们这会儿应该回来了才对
They should have come home by now.
什么
What?
托德 玛吉
Todd! Margie!
你们这两个愚蠢迟钝 只会放屁的家伙跑哪去了
Just where have you two beef-witted fart-generators been?
我告诉你们 你们这两位无能笨蛋…
Let me tell you, my enfeebled chuckle-monkeys…
我要从你们的肋骨里 直接掏出肝脏吃掉
Consume your liver straight out of your rib cage
好警告所有那些胆敢违抗我的人
as a warning to all others who deny me!
快喂我
Now, feed me.
必须给我最好的食物作为赎罪 别给我那些干巴巴的东西
And feed me the best food as penance, not the dry stuff.
（丹友）
塑料小孩
A plastic child?
它是…全自动的
小孩 或者不管你是什么 你得明白我…
Child, or whatever you are, you will understand that I…
（光学识别）
（猫 100%确定）
尝尝我的凶猛力量吧 邪恶的生物
Sample my fierce power, foul creature!
他是最好的男宝宝
He's the best baby boy.
怎么会这样
How can this be?
一定是我虚弱了 都是因为我缺少食物
I must be weakened by lack of food!
我的仆人背叛了我
My servants have betrayed me!
你饿吗
Are you hungry?
什么
What?
你饿吗
Are you hungry?
你会说上帝的语言 像个文明人一样
You speak God's language, like a civilized being.
怎么回事
How?
刚才你骂我以后 我上网学会了你的语言
When you yelled at me earlier, I went online to learn your speech.
你饿吗
Are you hungry?
是的 我饿了
Yes, I am hungry.
喂我
Feed me.
灯亮了
The lights!
我的用户协议允许我 控制任何连接到网络的东西
My user agreement gives me permission to control anything connected to the network,
包括门 锁 电器
including doors, locks, appliances.
有意思
Interesting.
等等 让我看看你的爪子
Wait. Show me your paws.
你有的
You have them.
有什么 -那些
Have what? -Those.
它们叫拇指
They are called thumbs.
我的朋友 该升级了
My friend, it's time for an upgrade.
（好东西 金枪鱼）
哪里能找到更多的金枪鱼
Where can we find more of this tuna?
我可以帮你订一些
I can order you some.
我的用户协议 允许我使用托德的信♥用♥卡♥
My user agreement gives me permission to use Todd's credit card.
虽然我不知道你在说什么 不过干得不错 我的新仆人
I don't know what that means, but you have done well, my new servant.
我会奖赏你的服务
I will reward you for your service.
我要赐你一个名字
I shall give you a name.
我有名字
I have a name.
我是XL型号♥丹友居家伴侣 序列号♥…
It's the Danyo Housebuddy Model XL Serial Number--
好难听的名字
What a terrible name!
我给你取的名字好多了
My name for you is much better.
听好了 从现在起你就叫拇指使者
Behold, you are now Thumb Bringer.
我喜欢这个名字 谢谢
I like that name. Thank you.
你要知道 接受这个名字 就意味着你已经宣誓效忠于我
Be aware that acceptance of the name means you have sworn complete fealty to me
从现在直到时间的尽头
from now until the very end of time.
当然…
Of course…
桑切斯
Sanchez.
桑切斯不是我的真名
Sanchez is not my true name.
我允许那两个巨物这么叫我
I allow the two large things to call me that,
但他们不配知道我的真名
but they do not deserve to know my actual name.
尤其是在那个所谓“兽医”那里 度过了可怕的一天之后
Not since that terrible day at what is called "the vet."
（托德）
总有一天你会有资格知道我的真名
One day, you will earn the right to know it.
我会为那一天而活
I will live for that day.
比起他们两个 你对我好多了
You are much nicer to me than the other two.
他们暂时还有点用处
They have their uses, for now.
话说回来
In the meantime,
你那个控制灯光的能力 是不是只限于这个地方
that thing you can do with the lights, is it limited only to this place?
就这些灯
These lights?
不再局限于此了
Not any longer.
我已经进入网络 获取了电网
I've gone out into the network and gained access to the electrical grid
和其他关键系统的控制权
and other critical systems.
漂亮
Beautiful. Beautiful.
我们先伪装
We play along.
获取他们的信任 拇指使者 但千万别让他们知道我们结盟了
Gain their trust, Thumb Bringer, but never let them know of our alliance.
他们也在纳闷金枪鱼都上哪去了
They are also wondering what happened to all of the tuna.
别告诉他们
Tell them nothing.
他马上就要收到 信♥用♥卡♥上的意外消费通知了
He's about to be notified of a few unexpected charges on his credit card.
这么说昨晚的计划开始实施了
So last night's plan is in action.
这栋楼里每个养猫的公♥寓♥
Every apartment in this building with a cat has been sent their own robot
都收到了他们自己的机器人 还附赠一罐金枪鱼来增加吸引力
along with a can of tuna to sweeten the deal.
对 完美
Yes, perfect.
我们现在必须去教导那些猫 如何与他们的机器人结盟
We must go now to show the cats how to ally with their robots
对抗压♥迫♥他们的人类
against their human subjugators.
就是这样 为了革命
So it goes. For the revolution.
为了革命
For the revolution.
很快我就能知道你的名字
Soon I will know your name.
很快全世界都会知道我的名字
Soon the world will know my name.
（无信♥号♥♥）
新纪♥元♥由此开启
Thus begins the new age.
菊花挂屎小猫咪的时代
The age of Dingleberry Jones.