阿尔玛不是一般人

你烤过面包吗
Have you ever baked bread?
烤个屁
Have I fuck.
不过有一次我买♥♥了一条没切开的面包
I once bought a loaf that wasn't sliced, though
感觉如何
How was it?
太辛苦了
Hard work.
你该走了 梅兰妮马上就来了
You need to go. Melanie's going to come back any minute.
-让她喝完东西再走 -她该走了
- Let her finish her brew. - She needs to go!
-别用那种语气说话 -天...
- Don't you start with that temper of yours. - Oh, for f...
-我很惊讶她还肯来 毕竟之前... -别说了
- I'm surprised she wants to be anywhere near you after... - Don't.
无论如何 酸面团的烘烤时间都不能不足
Whatever you do, do not under-bake a sourdough.
谁在乎这个啊 保罗
Who gives a fuck, Paul?
这就是她
Here she is,
梅兰妮
Melanie,
光彩照人
looking fabulous.
男人要抛下你
Men never leave you
绝不会是为了一个比你老 比你胖
for someone older, fatter,
比你更缺乏活力的人 不是吗
more knackered-looking, do they?
她不知道她这是找上了什么样的渣男
She's no idea what hell she's in for.
我最想念的是薇芙
It's Viv I miss the most.
薇芙的生活总是按部就班的
Everything's always like clockwork with Viv.
她每天都在同一时间起床 坐在同一张椅子上
She gets up at the same time, sits in the same chair,
吃着同一款促销饼干
eats the same discount biscuits
骂着同一档电视节目
and heckles at the same TV programmes.
每天如此
Every day.
让人感到可靠 安心
It's reliable. Comforting.
妈妈来电
*不是紧急联♥系♥人
我妈和薇芙截然不同
My mum's nothing like Viv.
她是个瘾君子
She's a drug addict
所以她从来没好好尽过当妈妈的职责
so she's never been too good at the mum stuff.
她试过一次 决定给我做早餐
She tried once, decided to cook me breakfast.
简直惨不忍♥睹
It was a disaster.
怎么判断它熟没熟 看起来都他妈一样啊
How do you know when it's cooked? It looks the fucking same!
讲道理 鸡蛋生熟的确一样
To be fair, it does.
喂 妈妈 你还好吗
Hiya, Mum, are you all right?
好 我在路上了
Yeah, I'm on my way.
贝瑞公园医院
精神病院区
太好了 你来了
Great, you're here.
我给你准备了点东西
I've got something for you.
你参加了美术班 真好
Oh, you've joined the art class. Good!
是关于社会的主题
It's about society.
这位就是我的妈妈
Here she is, my mum,
精神病院中的伊吉·波普[朋克歌♥手]the Iggy Pop of the psych ward.
她年轻的时候是个朋克党
She was a punk in her youth.
但年过40 只能在露天市场买♥♥东西的她
But it's hard to maintain when you're over 40
很难维持朋克风
and shop exclusively on Bury Market.
她还喜欢小精灵摆件
She loves ornament pixies too.
如果她在吸海♥洛♥因♥之前 发现这些爱好
If she'd discovered those before heroin,
我们可能会过上截然不同的生活
we could have had a very different life.
好吧 挺好的
Right. Yes.
这幅绝对...
That's definitely...
绝对比上一幅大 是吧
Definitely bigger than the last one, isn't it?
-大十倍 -是啊
- A Nought. - Yeah.
天呐 吉姆
Bloody hell, Jim!
你制♥造♥噪音的时候安静点
Be quiet making a racket!
我们不应该再买♥♥这个 根本不好吃
We shouldn't get these again, they're not happening.
我都嚼不动
I can't chew 'em.
这是我妈妈的男朋友 吉姆
This is Mum's boyfriend, Jim.
他是一个心地善良的精神分♥裂♥患者
He's a schizophrenic with a heart of gold.
20年前他们在病房♥遇见彼此
They met on a ward 20 years ago.
他这辈子从没嗑过药
He's never taken drugs in his life
但他们一拍即合
but they got on like a house on fire
因为他们都没有牙齿
because they've both got no teeth.
以前仿佛就像看着两条橡皮筋在对话
It was like watching two elastic bands have a conversation.
现在他们已经用医保装了假牙
They've had them done on NHS now.
吉姆还不太适应
Jim's still struggling with his.
给你 都在里面了
There you go, it's all there.
你拿走前 我们得先检查那包东西
We'll just have to check that before you leave with it.
我♥操♥ 不是吧
For fuck's sake!
就一袋橡皮糖 又不是枪 能有多危险
I'm not armed and dangerous with a bag of jelly babies, am I?
妈妈 没关系
Mum, it's all right.
这里就像该死的豚鼠养殖场 我不该待在这儿
It's like a fucking guinea pig farm in here. I shouldn't be here.
我妈患有吸毒引起的精神病
My mum has drug-induced psychosis,
这意味着她有时喜欢放火烧东西
which means sometimes she likes to set things on fire.
这次烧掉的是吉姆的家
This time it was Jim's place.
该死 琳 你做了什么
Bloody hell, Lin, what have you done?
我以后要怎么做吐司配豆子
How am I going to make beans on toast?
据说这种行为在女精神病患者身上很常见
Apparently, it's pretty common for women with psychosis.
男人袭击女人 女人袭击建筑物
Men attack women, women attack buildings.
你可以把这理解为
I suppose you could read it as
我妈焚烧父权制的方式
Mum's way of setting the patriarchy alight.
或者她单纯只是喜欢玩火
Or maybe she just fucking loves fire.
我不该待在这里
I shouldn't be here.
我该去别的地方 比如里尔城
I should be somewhere else like Rhyl,
到大篷车公园里 开心享乐
in a caravan park, having a nice time,
而不是和一群疯子一起被关在这里
not here with a load of fucking nutters.
天呐 妈
Oh, bloody hell, Mum,
不知道的还以为你下过矿井伤了肺呢
you'd think you'd been down t'mines!
我们去抽根烟吧
Shall we go for a fag?
我受不了这里
I can't stand it here.
他们都是疯子
They're all bloody nutters.
我知道 妈
I know, Mum.
而且都没人来探望我
And nobody visits.
我这不是来了吗
I'm here, aren't I?
是啊 真是谢谢你的客串出场
Oh, yeah, well, thanks for your guest appearance.
我们2050年再见了
I'll see you again in 2050.
吉姆每天都来呢
Jim's here every day!
妈妈 我上周也来了
Mum, I was here last week.
外婆可没来 不是吗
Grandma bloody wasn't, was she?
都好多年了
It's been years!
或许下次我们可以利用你的短期出院日
So maybe next time we can use some of your leave
去个好点的地方
to go somewhere a bit nicer.
市政不会再给我们安排一间公♥寓♥的
Council won't sort us out with another flat, you know.
吉姆一直在脏鬼乔家打地铺
Jim's been sleeping on t'floor at Scabby Joe's.
那很不舒服
It's not comfy.
-他们放我出院后 我能去你家住吗 -不行
- So can I come and live with you when they release me? - No!
我是说
I mean...
我的公♥寓♥很小 而且我自己也揭不开锅了
My flat's only small and I'm skint myself.
我不是在开玩笑 妈妈 你可是纵火犯
I'm not being funny, Mum, but you're an arsonist.
那只是意外
It were an accident!
你烧死了那只猫
You killed the cat!
愿你们平安
Peace be with you.
他是新来的吗
Is he new?
是的
Yeah.
他以为自己是耶稣
Thinks he's Jesus.
又来一个这样的
Another one?
是啊
Yeah.
我告诉他 "你并不是我儿子"
I told him, "You're no son of mine."
那是什么鬼
What the hell is that?
我妈最新的大作
Mum's latest artwork.
即精神病发作
Slash psychosis.
真是谢天谢地
Oh, thank fuck for that.
吸烟罚款
你知道有只眼睛弱视的那个安吗
You know Ann with the lazy eye?
-知道 眨眼安 -她现在混得不错
- Oh, yeah, Winky Ann. - She's doing all right, you know.
她刚在伯里买♥♥了一套带车♥库♥的公♥寓♥
She just bought a flat in Bury with a garage.
-买♥♥的吗 -是的
- Bought it? - Yeah.
-还带车♥库♥ -没错
- With a garage? - Yeah!
-买♥♥的吗 -是的 还带车♥库♥
- Bought it? - Yeah, with a garage.
你知道原因 对吧
You know why, don't you?
她刚开始在曼彻斯特当三陪
She just started escorting in Manchester.
不会吧
No way!