坏蛋联盟：坏坏假期（2023）

玩转圣诞节
银行
第六频道 动作新闻
坏蛋联盟
玩转圣诞节
第六频道 动作新闻
圣诞末日
时值圣诞节的前一天 在坏蛋联盟变好之前
'Twas the day before Christmas Before the Bad Guys turned good
他们将整座城市上下 每一个社区都踩了点
When all through the city They cased each and every neighborhood
押韵不？ 真有“时值”这个词吗？
Did that rhyme? Is "'twas" even a word?
听着 是这样的
Look, here's the thing.
我们的故事设定在 坏蛋联盟还是坏蛋时 好吗？
Our story is set when the Bad Guys were still bad, okay?
而且在一年中最好的时节 正是绝佳机会干几票大的
And at the best time of the year, when all the good heists can be had.
好嘞 各位 明天搞什么？
All right, guys, what's tomorrow?
坏蛋联盟圣诞大劫日
The Bad Guys Holiday Heist-tacular!
坏蛋联盟圣诞大劫日！
The Bad Guys Holiday Heist-tacular!
意思是？
What does that mean?
趁所有普通人都待在家里 跟自己爱的人共享假日什么的…
While all these normies stay home with their loved ones, or whatever...
这地方会变成一座鬼城！
...this place turns into a ghost town!
没有保安 没有警♥察♥
No guards, no fuzz.
这座城市就是我们打劫盗窃的舞台！
This city's our heisting stage!
我们要上演一场大扫荡！
And we're gonna clean it out.
这是坏蛋联盟的老传统
Oh, it's a Bad Guys tradition.
还有一项传统是
And so is spending the day before
在行动的前一天在清单上 写下圣诞节早上要偷的一切
coming up with a list of everything we're going to steal Christmas morning.
我好想抢那个有各种臭奶酪的地方
Ooh, I want to hit that place with all the stinky cheese.
没什么理由 我根本不爱吃
No reason. I-I don't even like it.
好吧 我有点喜欢吃！ -丹氏奶酪屋 记下了！
Okay, I like it a little! - Cheesy Dan's is on the list.
城市企业大银行
City... Corporate... Bank.
没错 这就是我们等了整整一年的
Oh, yeah. That's what we've been waiting all year for.
这将是我们犯罪圣代上的樱桃
It's gonna be the cherry on top of our criminal sundae.
明天一大早 这里
Tomorrow morning, it,
还有这座城市的一切 都将是我们的
and everything else in this city, will be ours.
这就对了嘛！
That's what I'm talking about!
我是蒂芙尼·弗拉菲特 在此带来万众期待的一刻
Tiffany Fluffit here with the moment we've all been waiting for.
我们心爱的大尼克 刚刚完成他的首次亮相
Our beloved Big Nick has just made his first appearance.
我想我能够代表整个城市说一句:
I think I speak for the entire city when I say...
“我爱你 大尼克！”
I love you, Big Nick!
喂 这边封道了！
Hey, hey! This street's closed!
是坏蛋联盟！
It's the Bad Guys!
动作快点 小狼
Better get a move on it, Wolfie.
我们好像把圣诞老人偷走了
I think we just stole Santa.
爽
Nice!
坏蛋联盟想要偷走大尼克！
The Bad Guys are stealing Big Nick!
来人啊！
Help!
谁来阻止他们！
Someone stop them! - Ah!
情况好像很不妙啊
That's very not good.
这该不会就是那个大家都有着 强烈的特殊情感的气球吧？
This isn't that famous balloon everybody's freakishly emotionally attached to, is it?
不 这是一个完全不同的 圣诞老人形状的气球
No, no, no. This is a different giant Santa-shaped balloon.
废话 当然是了
Of course it is!
我看不见了！ -把它挪开！
I can't see! - Get it off of me!
谁把灯关了？ -感觉好像被圣诞老人拥抱了一样
The lights! - Santa's hugging me!
再见咯 圣诞老人！
Ha-ha! See ya, Santa!
不 不要啊 大尼克！
No! Not Big Nick!
蒂芙尼·弗拉菲特在现场报道 自从电动滑板车问世以来
Tiffany Fluffit reporting live from the scene of the worst attack on this city
这座城市受到的最严重的袭击
since the introduction of electric scooters.
我们心爱的大尼克 被臭名昭著的坏蛋联盟毁掉了
Our beloved Big Nick has been destroyed by the notoriously notorious Bad Guys.
今早 整座城市都处于悲痛之中
We're a city in mourning this morning.
为什么啊？
Why?
确实 为什么啊？ 这根本是毫无目的的反圣诞行为
Why indeed. It's a senseless act of bah-humbuggery.
所有想要其洗掉的尝试 反而让它看起来更可怕了
All attempts to wash the abomination off have only made it more terrifying,
进一步毁掉了节日氛围
further lowering holiday spirits.
这座城市从没有比今天 更没有圣诞氛围
It's never felt less like Christmas in the city.
先生 您怎么看？
Sir, your reaction?
没有大尼克就不能算过节
It's just not the holidays without Big Nick.
他就像是我的父亲一样 我想我明天都没办法庆祝了
He was like a father to me. Don't think I'll even celebrate tomorrow.
只能去工作了 像平日里一样给银行做保安
Probably just go into work, guard the bank like any other day,
而且要比平时更专心 这样才能不去想这次的暴行
and be extra attentive to distract myself from this monstrosity.
我为什么无法挪开视线？
Why can't I look away?
大家都听到了
You heard it here first.
圣诞节取消了
Christmas is canceled.
怎么会发生这种事
This can't be happening!
圣诞节存在的意义就在于
The whole point of Christmas morning
没人会来阻止我们的大抢劫！
is that no one is around to stop us from maximum heisting!
可是…我们本来要去抢银行的呀
B-b-but we were gonna rob the bank!
因为愚蠢的圣诞老人 就让原计划泡汤了？
And now we can't because of some dumb Santa?
给我把这句话收回去！
You take that back right now!
圣诞老人是罪犯的英雄 无论是气球
Santa is a criminal hero who deserves our respect,
还是其他形式都值得尊敬
in balloon form or otherwise.
他闯入的房♥子比谁都多 而且从来没被抓到过
He's broken into more homes than anyone and never been caught.
这一切都有什么意义…
What's even the point of anything?
除非 听我细说啊
Unless... And hear me out on this.
我们把时钟往回拨24个小时 立刻上♥床♥睡觉
If we set our clocks back 24 hours and go to sleep right now,
或许当我们醒来时 这一切就都不会发生了
maybe, when we wake up, none of this will have happened.
好吗？ 来吧 晚安
Yeah? Come on. Night, night!
如果圣诞老人气球被毁 就足以取消圣诞节
If destroying the Santa balloon was all it took to cancel Christmas,
那我们就只要重新做一个 砰！ 圣诞节就又回来了
then all we have to do is recreate it, and boom, Christmas is back!
这声“砰” 是我们所有问题被解决的声音
That's the sound of all our problems being solved,
因为我已经创造了一样更棒的东西
because I've already made something better.
圣诞机器老人！
Robo-Claus!
造这家伙是为了 圣诞节早上抢银行用的
Built this bad boy for our Christmas morning bank job.
我本来打算明天给大家个惊喜的 但你们现在就可以夸我是天才了
I was gonna surprise you all tomorrow, but you can call me a genius now.
你们瞧
Check it.
惊喜倒算不上 惊吓还差不多
Uh, it is surprising, for sure.
普通人马上就会 把圣诞老人气球忘掉的
The normies will forget about their balloon
只要他们看一眼这个绝美之作
once they lay their eyes on this beaut.
它还保留了圣诞老人的真正本性
And it captures Santa's true nature.
而不是那一套欢乐的表面文章
None of that jolly business.
这套机甲应该由司机来操作
The suit really should be operated by a driver.
来吧 小狼 试试看
Come on. Wolfie, try him on.
噢 我还是…不用了 谢谢
Oh, that's... Uh, I'm good. Thanks, though.
尽管这样已经很棒了
And as great as this is,
但圣诞老人那套欢乐的表面文章
the jolly component of Jolly Old Saint Nick
可能才是非罪犯人士喜欢他的原因
is probably why non-criminal folks like him.
别听他的 你是完美的
Don't listen. You're perfect.
只要通力合作
If we all work together,
像我们这样的犯罪大♥师♥是不可能 做不出一个愚蠢的圣诞老人气球来的
I'm sure a bunch of criminal masterminds like us can make one silly Santa balloon.
连我都有点被冒犯到
Even I'm a little offended by this.
他的胡子看起来就像是触手
His beard looks like a tentacle.
我感到很震惊！
I feel scandalized.
好吧 浪费了点时间 只要找到别的方法
Okay, lost some time there, but we'll figure out another way
让整座城市欢乐起来 就能在圣诞节早上抢劫了
to cheer up the city in time to rob it in the morning.
也就是在12小时后 来吧 都说说看
Which, sure, is in, like, 12 hours, so lay it on me.
还有什么有节日氛围的？
What else says holiday spirit?
想偷什么就偷什么 因为保安会放一天假
Stealing whatever we want, because, normally, guards take the day off.
可今年是没戏了
But no, not this year.
他们会继续工作 毁掉圣诞节唯一的好事
They'll be at work, ruining the only good thing about Christmas.
唯一的好事？
Only good thing?
那些经典的圣诞节罪犯呢？
What about all the classic Christmas criminals?
圣诞怪杰
The Grinch?
汉斯·格鲁伯
Hans Gruber?
埃比尼泽·斯克鲁奇
Ebenezer Scrooge!
很好-
Ooh, nice.
那家伙是个传奇
That guy's a legend.
他跟鬼魂开派对 还穿正装睡觉！
He parties with ghosts and wears a dress to bed.
可他的故事却从没被正经地讲述过
And yet, his story has never been properly told.
所以呢 我提议为全城办一场表演
So I propose that we put on a show for the whole city,
由我来演斯克鲁奇 还有其他所有角色
with me as Scrooge... and all the other characters.
不过不能有那个让斯克鲁奇难堪 多事又邪恶的小蒂姆
But without that needy, nefarious Tiny Tim tearing Scrooge down!
我是愿意掏钱来看的
And I would buy a ticket to that show,
不过我们还是得保留 那些大家都喜欢的老套东西…
but we gotta stick to the awful stuff people like--
我节日中最爱的部分 就是得到一块煤炭
Ooh, my favorite part of the holidays is getting a lump of coal.
让我觉得自己做出了正确的选择
It really makes me feel like I'm making good choices, you know?
淘气名单才是光荣的奖章