小屁孩日记3：圣诞大惊喜（2023）

小屁孩日记3：圣诞大惊喜
(日记)
(我在看着你) (十二月)
(调皮)
(调皮)
(恶心)
(葛瑞)
(玩具)
(超级主机9000) (全新)
(日记)
圣诞节倒数两周
(佳节愉快) (欢乐)
(礼物型录) (圣诞版)
(游玩) (售价399元)
(超级主机9000)
(彩带)
(树)
(泰勒)
(此路不通)
(玩具捐赠箱)
(葛瑞赫夫雷)
(悬赏五百美元)
(最后穿着：红色帽子和围巾 绿色耳罩和围巾)
(计划)
(玩具捐赠箱)
(碎木机)
(财产损坏通缉)
(超级主机9000)
(紧急检查清单)
(三天后)
(不乖、坏孩子)
(十二月)
(电子学)
(缓冲中)
(只是番薯)
(玩具捐赠箱)
(悬赏五百美元)
(圣诞节)
(钢铁腋) (48小时防护)
(超级主机9000)
(给泰勒，秘密圣诞老人赠)
(只希望没有人听说…)
(日记)
(完)
圣诞佳节应该是很特别的
The holidays are supposed to be special,
因为你可以跟你所爱的人相处
because you get to spend time with the people you love.
但如果有人问我怎么想
But if you ask me...
我的家人已经花太多时间相处了
...my family spends too much time together as it is.
曼尼
Manny! - Ooh.
如果你想听实话
If you wanna hear the truth,
佳节的真正意义不是团聚
the real meaning of the season isn't about togetherness
或是任何其他老套的东西
or any of that other corny stuff.
对我来说，圣诞节的意义是礼物
For me, Christmas is all about the gifts.
你唯一的目标就是在圣诞节 尽可能地增加收到的礼物数量
your only goal is to maximize the amount of presents you get on the big day.
问题是，如果想要很多礼物
The problem is, if you want a lot of gifts,
你得在圣诞节前一整个月的期间好好表现
you have to be good during the whole month leading up to Christmas.
而在一年的这个时候 保持最佳表现很困难
And it's hard to be on your best behavior at this time of year...
葛瑞
Greg.
因为一个孩子有太多犯错的可能
...because there are so many ways a kid can mess up.
妈
Mom!
我是说，非常多
I mean, like, so many.
不算调皮，但绝对很恶心
Not exactly naughty, but definitely gross!
是这样的，我有点担心
Here's the thing. I'm getting worried that my window
我在圣诞节拿到优质礼物的机会 可能开始降低
for getting quality presents on Christmas might be starting to close,
因为我发现随着年纪增长 拿到的礼物越来越糟
'cause I've noticed that the older you get, the worse your gifts are.
内♥裤♥？
Underwear?
所以如果这真的是 拿到我梦想礼物的最后机会…
So, if this is really my last chance to get something I want,
我得确保我好好表现 才能拿到最棒的礼物
I'm gonna make sure I'm good, so I can go out with a bang.
来吧
Boom!
我是灯光大♥师♥
Whoo! Ha! I am the lord of lights!
我们要怎么叫它？ -寒冰奥斯本
What should we name him? - Icy Osbourne.
笑死了
Oh, snap!
给你 -妈
Boop! - Mom.
我们能不能看些现代一点的东西？
Can we please watch something more modern?
这节目已经有一百年了吧
This show is, like, a hundred years old.
罗德里克，这是圣诞氛围的一环
Oh, Rodrick, it's all part of the charm.
这些特别节目在我成长过程中 是不可或缺的假期传统
These specials were a big part of my holiday tradition growing up.
监狱
Jail!
妈
So, Mom,
我们现在可以聊聊这个新的电玩主机吗？
uh, can we talk about this video game system now?
它配有白金欧米茄晶片
It's got the platinum omega chip-- - Oh!
而且画面比真实生活还逼真
And the graphics are, like, realer than real life.
好，葛瑞，你已经提过了
Yes, Greg, I believe you've mentioned that.
我能拿到它的机率有多大？百分之八十？
What are the chances of me getting it? Like, 80%?
百分之六十五？
Sixty-five?
这个，你过去一年乖吗？
Mmm, well, have you been good during the last year?
过去一年？
The last year?
我以为是感恩节到圣诞节这段期间
I mean, I thought it was, like, more of a Thanksgiving to Christmas kind of thing.
圣诞老人是不休假的，葛瑞
Santa doesn't take vacations, Greg.
所以你随时都要拿出最佳表现
So, you should always be on your best behavior.
不过袜子里放煤炭只是虚构的而已
Yeah, well, the thing about coal in your stocking is just a myth.
相信我，我知道
Trust me. I'd know.
谢谢你，罗德里克，好了
Thank you, Rodrick. Hello.
我们可以专心点吗？
Can we please stay focused?
我不知道，葛瑞 你不是已经有电玩主机了吗？
I don't know, Greg. Don't you already have a gaming system?
我有的那台已经完全过时了
The one I have is totally outdated.
如果我没拿到这台新的
And if I don't get this new one,
就没办法跟我朋友打电动
I won't be able to play games with my friends.
妈，你希望我有朋友吧？
You do want me to have friends, right, Mom?
葛瑞，今晚我们可否先暂停这段对话
Oh, Greg. Can we just pause this conversation for tonight
好好享受佳节时分呢？
and enjoy this holiday moment?
早餐再见 -就是那边
Bye-bye, breakfast. - Ah. That's the spot.
嘿！嘿！
Ow! Hey, hey! - Oh.
好，我这里有三种不同的圣诞彩带
Okay, I got three different kinds of tinsel.
所有在架上的我都拿了
I grabbed everything that was on the shelf.
法兰克，你在哪找到这个箱子的？
Frank, where did you find this box?
它放在后面，在装着花环的垃圾下面
Oh, it was, uh, in the back, under the trash bags with the wreaths in it.
我做对事情了吗？
Did I do good?
我好几年没看到这个了
I haven't seen this in years.
我以为它不见了
I thought it was lost.
那东西是什么？
What is that thing?
这东西是我家佳节传统非常重要的一环
This thing was a very important part of my family's holiday tradition.
我奶奶使用了一点点圣诞魔法 亲自编织了艾凡多
My grandmother knitted Elfrendo herself, using a pinch of Christmas magic.
艾凡多？
Elfrendo?
没错，他是圣诞老人最重要的探员
That's right. He's one of Santa's most important scouts.
他直接向圣诞老人汇报
He reports directly to the big man himself.
如果你想拿到朝思暮想的礼物
So if you were to be getting that gift that you want so badly,
你要确保自己好好守规矩
then you might wanna make sure you don't step out of line,
因为圣诞老人都会收到消息
because Santa will hear about it!
现在，我们的小小朋友放哪里好？
Now, where's a good perch for our little friend?
这里应该可以
Oh, this should do it.
等等，我们要把它放在这里？
Wait. We're-- We're keeping that thing in here?
当然了，葛瑞
Of course we are, Greg.
艾凡多会确保所有人在接下来两周
Elfrendo is gonna make sure everyone's on their best behavior
都拿出最佳表现
for the next two weeks.
我们可以回去里面了吗？
Can we go back inside now?
因为外面好冷
'Cause it's cold out here.
也许我们可以请你妈妈做热巧克力给我们
Maybe we can ask your mom to make us hot chocolate,
里面放迷你棉花糖的那种
the kind with the miniature marshmallows!
不…不，我们待在外面比较好
No, no, no. We're much better off outside.
相信我
Trust me on that.
但我根本不懂我们在外面做什么
But I don't even get what we're doing out here.
我们在做雪人，荣利 还有试着不要惹麻烦
We're building a snowman, Rowley, and trying to stay out of trouble.
但是葛瑞，这看起来根本不像雪人
But, Greg, this doesn't even look like a snowman.
这只是基底而已
Well, this is just a base.
等我们把它堆到十尺高 我们就可以加下一层
Once we get this thing, like, ten feet tall, we'll add the next level.
但我们要怎么把雪球放在这个上面？
But how are we gonna get a snowball on top of this one?
不知道，或许我们可以租起重机
I don't know. Maybe we can rent a crane.
到时候我们再来处理
We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
好了
Come on, now.
别光站着，来帮我忙吧
Stop standing around and help me out here.
你会拿到你想要的电玩主机吗？
So, are you gonna get that video game system you want?
我不知道
I don't know.
我妈什么都不肯透漏 而且我四处都找遍了
My mom's not giving anything away, and I've looked everywhere.
你去找礼物？
You look for gifts?
但那不是调皮的表现吗？
But isn't that naughty?
如果他们要把我的礼物 放在我找得到的地方
Hey, if they're gonna leave my presents out where I can find them,
那也不是我的错
then it's fair game.
你不会找你的礼物吗？
You don't look for your gifts?
我的礼物都是圣诞老人送的
All my presents come from Santa,
要等到我在圣诞夜睡着时他才会送来
and he doesn't bring them till I'm asleep on Christmas Eve.
好
Yeah.