是，首相现代版 （2013）

Thanks.
谢谢
That was the BBC again, piling on the agony.
又是BBC 真是雪上加霜
A big news story about global warming has just broken
刚刚爆出一则关于全球变暖的新闻
and they're adding that to the programme about you on Sunday morning.
他们要把它加进你周日上午的节目中
Global warming computer models have been proved wrong.
有证据表明 全球变暖的计算机模型是错的
The new models show it's even worse than previously thought,
新模型显示 情况比之前预计的还要糟
much more severe, and happening faster.
严峻很多 恶化更快
Is that supposed to be my fault, too?
这也算我的错吗
They want to know why the government's
他们想知道 政♥府♥为什么
dragging its feet on CO2 emission controls.
在二氧化碳限排问题上裹足不前
Do we have to deal with that tonight,
我们非要今晚解决这个问题吗
as well as the collapsing summit,
除此之外还有面临崩溃的峰会
the ECB, the BBC,
欧洲央行 BBC
my treacherous cabinet, my disloyal colleagues,
我那背信弃义的内阁 毫不忠诚的同事
your leaks, the illegal immigrant cook,
你的泄密 非法移♥民♥的厨子
the run on the pound, the Kumranistani pervert.
英镑被抛售 库朗斯坦变♥态♥
Is there anything else?
还能更糟点吗
Anything else we can pile on me tonight?
今晚还有什么事能火上浇油
Oh, yes, global bloody warming, thank you very much.
没错 他妈的全球变暖 真是非常感谢啊
Prime Minister, might I suggest
首相 容我建议
you don't worry too much about global warming.
不用对全球变暖过多忧虑
Right, well, I can't do much about it tonight, can I?
对 我今晚也做不了什么 是吧
Why should the global warming computer models be any more
全球变暖的计算机模型为什么就该比
reliable or accurate than the financial ones?
金融模型更可信 或更准确呢
Wall Street's computer models were designed to show that
华尔街的计算机模型 其设计目的是说明
sub-prime mortgage derivatives were low risk.
次贷衍生物风险很低
And these global warming computer models are designed
而这些全球变暖的计算机模型是为了
to show that global warming's getting worse.
说明全球变暖正在恶化
Oh, come off it, Humphrey!
有话直说 汉弗莱
Well, you remember mad cow disease?
您记得疯牛病吗
The computer models for that proved
根据计算机模型
that we'd all be dying in our hundreds of thousands by now.
到目前为止 应有数十万人死于该病了
But in fact, hardly any died.
但事实上 几乎没什么人死亡
You're suggesting what, exactly?
你到底想说什么
Well, the computer models leave out
计算机模型忽略了
nearly all other possible causes except CO2.
除二氧化碳以外的几乎所有可能原因
And then they say,
然后说
"Oh, look, CO2's caused all this global warming."
"看 二氧化碳引起了全球变暖"
There aren't any other causes, are there?
本来就没有其他的原因 对吧
Er, have you seen that film of melting icebergs in the Antarctic?
你看过南极冰川融化的纪录片吗
Yes, they're beautiful, aren't they?
是啊 美得很 是吧
That's caused by CO2.
那就是二氧化碳引起的
No, dear lady,
不 亲爱的女士
that's caused by warm water masses from the Pacific.
那是由太平洋的暖流引起的
Why are the polar bears becoming extinct?
为什么北极熊濒临灭绝呢
Oh, are they?
是吗
The computer models say they are.
计算机模型是这么说的
The people who actually count them
那真正去数一数它们的数量
have found more than there were 30 years ago.
就会发现 比三十年前还多
Oh, for heaven's sake!
老天爷
Humphrey, if it's all such nonsense,
汉弗莱 如果那都是无稽之谈
why does everyone believe it?
为什么大家都会相信呢
No, it is, it's very hard to understand.
这真是令人难以理解啊
There are some scientists who do believe it.
有些科学家确实相信
Lots of others want the billions of pounds you can get
其他大部分人想要上亿英镑的经费
for research that seems to show that
来做研究 看起来好像是在证明
global warming is caused by greenhouse gases.
全球变暖是由温室气体引发的
Most of the scientists who disagree can't get published.
持反对意见的科学家大多得不到发表
Journalists love shock-horror stories,
记者就喜欢耸人听闻的故事
governments want to look virtuous to their voters,
政♥府♥希望选民觉得他们有德
lefties want to bash big oil,
左翼分子想攻击石油巨头
and it makes all the tree huggers and whale savers,
这就让卫林者和拯鲸者
and everybody at the BBC and all of the media,
以及BBC和所有的媒体
feel holier-than-thou and warm and fuzzy inside.
都站在道德高地 自我感觉良好
So wind farms don't make any sense?
那么风力发电厂毫无意义吗
Wind farms! Oh, forgive me, Prime Minister,
风力发电厂 抱歉 首相
they do make sense,
还是有用处的
to the businessmen who are
那是对那些
getting enormous government grants for them.
得到大笔政♥府♥补助的商人而言的
There isn't enough wind to be practical.
风力不够 极不实用
The total output of all of the UK's wind turbines put together
英国所有风电的总和
is less than a quarter
还比不上一个略具规模的
of one decent size coal-fired power station.
火电厂四分之一的输出功率
He can't say any of this to the BBC.
这话可不能告诉BBC
No! Claire, phone them back and say...
不 克莱尔 回电就说
..Something.
说几句话
Ok.
好
Prime Minister, Sir Humphrey, what are you thinking?
首相 汉弗莱爵士 你们在想些什么
The Kumranistan foreign secretary has demanded three women
库朗斯坦外长要求找三个女人
to have sex with, here, tonight, at Chequers.
今晚在契克斯与他发♥生♥关♥系♥
Europe needs this $10 trillion loan,
欧洲需要这十万亿美元的贷款
and the two of you are arguing
而你们居然在讨论
about global warming,
什么全球变暖
instead of working out how to do what's right!
而不是致力找出正确的解决方法
Bernard, ever since this started you have been bleating on
伯纳德 从一开始你就
about whether or not something is right.
不停地重复何为对错
We are politicians, not bishops.
我们是政客 不是主教
Right. Bernard,
是的 伯纳德
the Prime Minister is not here to do what's right,
首相的职责不是做正确的事
he's here to serve the country.
而是服务国家
What if we do get this deal signed?
要是我们真签下了这份协议呢
What if the Prime Minister loses the next election,
要是首相竞选连任失败
and the next government has a different policy?
下届政♥府♥出♥台♥不同的政策呢
Too late! There will be a treaty.
太晚了 白纸黑字的协议
Britain will be a signatory, and we always keep our word.
英国已经在上面签字 我们总是守约的
We don't, actually.
有时候也不守约
Well, we often do. And we definitely would in this case.
通常守约 行了吧 这次的约一定要守
Fine.
好吧
I'll organise three call girls before it gets any later.
在事情不可挽回之前 我会安排三个妓♥女♥
We'll need to put the royal helicopter on standby.
我们需要命令皇家直升机待命
I must not hear this.
我什么都不知道
Right. Who do I phone?
好了 我该打给谁
You don't know?
你不知道吗
How would I know?
我怎么会知道
Well, so how do you think I know?
那你觉得我又怎么会知道
Let me get this straight.
让我理理清楚
We have finally decided to do this and you don't even know how?
我们终于决定找人 你们却不知道去哪找
Do you know how?
那你知道吗
I can't believe this! The TV news shows tell me
简直不敢相信 电视新闻说
we are crawling with illegal foreign hookers,
我们这里遍地是外籍非法性工作者
and nobody even knows how to find any?
而你们却不知道去哪里找一个过来
What is going on here?
到底是怎么一回事
We could try the Vice Squad. They'll know.
可以问问刑♥警♥队 他们肯定知道
You want to call the Vice Squad?
你想打电♥话♥给刑♥警♥队
And ask them to find three prostitutes?
让他们找三个妓♥女♥
And put them on the royal helicopter?
然后送上皇家直升机吗
Have you lost your mind?
你疯了吗
Just popping outside.
出去一下
Back in a minute.
马上回来
What was that about?
她是去干什么
I don't know.
不知道
She seems to be talking to someone.
她好像在和谁讲话
Who?
谁
I can't see.
看不清
There are trees in the way.
树挡住了
So we're stuck?
所以我们无计可施了吗
Aren't you worried that this is wrong, Prime Minister?
难道您不担心这一举措是错误的吗 首相
It seems to be necessary, Bernard.
这是必要的举措 伯纳德
Government is seldom about right or wrong,
政♥府♥行事无关对错
it's about choosing the lesser evil.
只能将伤害减至最低