圣诞老人快乐再疯狂（2022）

-全体起立 -今天别搞这套了，好吗？
-All rise. -You know, let's not do that today, okay?
但规章上有写，这里有一份清单
But protocol. I have a list here.
只有贝蒂才会什么都照着规章走
You know, protocol's really Betty's thing.
我记得是你要求大家要全体起立的，老板
Um, if I recall, you were the one who came up with the "all rise" thing, sir.
我还记忆犹新
It's a vivid memory.
你那时候看起来真年轻
You know, you actually looked a lot younger then.
伊蒂，你今天去诺尔旁边坐吧
Edie, why don't you take a seat next to Noel down there for today, okay?
好
Okay.
好了，大家快坐下吧，请坐
All right. Everybody, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
听好了，今天很特别
Listen. Real special day today,
因为我们要把这里转变成家族事业
'cause we're transitioning to include the family in the business.
所以我的家人会参与重大会议
-Mm-hmm. -So my family's gonna be joining us
所以我的家人会参与重大会议
here at the big meetings.
大家都认识卡尔，当然还有圣诞太太
You know Cal. Of course Mrs. Claus.
-珊卓在… -只是在忙她的事
-Sandra is… -Just doing Sandra things.
珊卓正在忙她的事
Sandra is just doing Sandra things right now,
但我们有个重大消息
but we have some big news.
圣诞太太先告诉大家吧
Let's start with Mrs. Claus.
好，诚如大家所知 小精灵警局已交给我掌管
Okay. Um, as you all know, I have taken over the E.L.F.S.,
我们正在调查消失的胡桃钳
and we are on the case of the missing nutcracker.
老实说，谁需要胡桃钳啊？
I mean, who needs a nutcracker really?
我同意，伊蒂，胡桃钳？
I'm with you, Edie. A nutcracker?
随便找一只没穿的鞋，轻松就能敲开了
Just get a spare shoe. Boom. Nut is cracked.
我认为更有趣的是
I think, more interesting is,
我们该找出《圣诞老人传说之书》遗失的那几页
we should be looking into those missing pages of The Book of Santa Lore.
那几页提到了 名叫「马格努斯安希尔」的神秘圣诞老人
Some mystery Santa Claus called "Magnus Anthill."
-不…不，是叫… -马格努斯安塔斯
No, no, no. It's, uh-- -Magnus Antas.
我没办法不纠正他
I just like being right.
-是哦？遗失的书页 -对
-Huh. Missing pages. -Yeah.
也许两件事有关联
Maybe it's somehow connected.
-和胡桃钳有关？-对
-To the nutcracker? -Yeah.
有可能，听着
Well, i-it could be. Listen.
不过更重要的消息是卡尔今天开始受训 要成为下一任圣诞老人
Bigger news, though, is Cal's training to be the next Santa starts today.
上啊，卡尔
Whoo-hoo! Go, Cal! Whoo! -
要达成任务，就要先从外表下手
In order to do the job, you gotta look the part,
我和小精灵做了一件受训背心给你
so the elves and I made you a training vest.
圣诞老人训练
so the elves and I made you a training vest.
试试看，快看，快试穿，很好
Give it a shot. Look at this. Try it on there. There you go.
太棒了
Awesome!
我觉得自己好像女童子军
I feel like a Girl Scout.
-这…好哦 -对
-Well, w-w-- Okay. -Yeah.
其中一部分布料来自圣尼古拉的外套
And some of the fabric in that came out of Saint Nicholas's coat,
因此背心充满魔力
- so it's full of magic. -
要好好重视这件背心，儿子
And this needs to be respected, Son.
这是背心，而不是外套，我喜欢这点
I like how it's a vest instead of a coat.
这样能突显你强壮的手臂
Really shows off your arms.
爸，再次感谢你让莱莉留下来
Uh, thanks again, Dad, for letting Riley stay.
不用谢，没关系 只要别干扰到我们的工作就好
No, it's great. As long as it doesn't interfere with what we do around here.
不，不会干扰到的
No, no. It-It won't.
看到没？他们…他们没事
See? They're-They're-- They're good.
好，开始训练吧
Okay. Well, let's get to it.
那这一个如何？
How about this one?
去念医学院的墨西哥辣椒叫什么？
What do you call a jalapeño that went to medical school?
「胡椒博士」饮料
- Doctor Pepper. -
太扯了，付小费给服务生啦
That's hysterical. Tip your waitresses, everybody.
听着，这些笑话很好笑 但为什么你要来北极？
Listen. This-- These jokes are great, but w-why did you fly to the North Pole?
我忘了情人节了吗？
I mean, did-did-did I forget Valentine's Day or something?
你想干嘛？
What are you up to?
放轻松，我不是来监视你的
Take it easy. I'm not spying on you, all right?
那你干嘛来？
Well, why are you here?
重申一次，不是要监视你
Again, not spying.
首先我要说 我只是来转达信息，别对我发火
Let me preface this by saying don't shoot the messenger.
有一些传说人物 大地之母、复活节兔、睡魔…
Some of the Legendaries, uh, Mother Nature, Easter Bunny, Sandman--
好吧，所有传说人物都有点担心 让你儿子当下一任圣诞老人
Okay, all of them are a little concerned about your son being the next Santa.
他们怎么会知道？
How did they know about that?
是我说的，我在监视你
I told them. I'm spying on you.
我以为我们约定好了不要干涉彼此的事
I thought the deal was we don't interfere in each other's business.
对，但你去年把我们蒙在鼓里后就不是了
Yeah, that was until you left us in the dark all last year.
你太早退休，选了不对的继任者
You retired too soon, chose the wrong successor,
又回来除掉了他
and then came back and got rid of him.
就像个英雄
Like a hero.
抱歉，爸，莱莉需要提振一下精神
Sorry, Dad. Riley needed a pick-me-up.
自动调温器在哪？这里好冷
Where is the thermostat? It is so cold here.
两位，我在开会耶
Guys, I'm having a meeting.
是哦，抱歉，爸
Oh! Sorry, Dad.
抱歉，丘比特先生
And sorry, Mr. Cupid.
-你真是个可爱的宝宝 -才怪
-Aw, you're such a little baby. -Am not.
躲猫猫
Aw. Peekaboo!
躲猫猫，躲猫猫
- Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Aw. -
-两位 -抱歉，好
-Guys. -Sorry. Yeah.
还真是羞辱人呢
Well, that was humiliating.
-那是什么？-很酷吧
-Ooh, what's that? -Isn't it cool?
你该不会能射一箭就让情侣分手吧
You don't happen to have an arrow that stops love, do ya?
久了就会分了
Ah, life just does that.
再说，他们俩我没辙，这是初恋
Plus there's nothing I can do for these two. That's first love.
任何魔法都无法战胜初恋
No magic can overcome first love.
我只是很担心卡尔
I'm just worried about Cal.
虽然你们听说了很多不好的消息
And despite all the things you've heard,
但我真心相信卡尔有能耐 成为下一任圣诞老人
I really believe that Cal has what it takes to be the next Santa.
真棘手，因为我通常只处理爱情
That's tough, because I really only deal in romantic love.
而且你也知道，我没办法生孩子
Plus, as you know, I can't have kids.
我怎么会知道？
How would I know that?
不过我也观察到最让人伤心的通常是家人
Although, I have observed that nothing will break the heart like family.
对哦，家人，我的家人，我的事业
Right. Family. My family, my business.
你们不该介入家务事
I don't think there's any reason for you guys to step in there
对我们指指点点
and start pointing fingers.
-我也可以对你做同样的事 -不行吧
-You know, I could do the same. -Could not.
-可以 -真的吗？
-Could too. -Really?
丘比特太太是否知道
Does Mrs. Cupid know that it took,
你射了五个半支箭，才引起她的注意？
like, five and a half arrows to get her attention?
好啦，我去说服其他人
Okay, I'll talk to the others.
叫他们冷静点
Get 'em to calm down.
但如果卡尔在三个月内还无法 胜任圣诞老人的工作，我们就会插手
But if Cal's not Santa material in three months, we're meddling.
等等，先别走…
W-W-Wait, before you go--
你听说过…很久以前 有个叫「马吉安吉」的古老圣诞老人吗？
Have you heard of a old-- a previous Santa called, uh, "Magi Agi"?
不对，是「马格努斯安吉纳」
No, no. Um, "Magnus Angina."
-马格努斯安塔斯？-对
-Magnus Antas? -Yes.
没听过
Never heard of him.
你刚说出他的名字耶
You just said his name.
老实说，你们圣诞老人看起来都一样
Truth be told, all you Santas look alike.
好，回家小心 不然就撞个又冰又硬的东西吧
Yeah. Well, fly home safe, or run into something cold and sharp.
《圣诞快乐又疯狂：退休计划》
第八章 毛毛
圣诞老人在问遗失的书页
Santa asking about the missing book pages.
圣诞太太在寻找胡桃钳
Mrs. Claus looking for the nutcracker.
等两人知道他们都在找疯狂圣诞老人
When they find out they're both looking for the Mad Santa,
也会跟着发狂
they're gonna be so mad.
这样又会出现一个疯狂圣诞老人 噩梦不断重演
And then we'll have another Mad Santa. The cycle repeats.
冷静一点
Get ahold of yourself!
你刚刚摇了我的肩膀吗？
Um, did you just shake me?
对，这样很糟，通常是别人叫我要冷静
Yes, which is bad 'cause I'm usually the shooken, not the shaker.
放轻松，伊蒂
Relax, Edie.
要很大的魔力才能让他逃出胡桃钳
It would take an insane amount of magic to get him out of the nutcracker.
很好，因为如果疯狂圣诞老人被释放出来
Good. Because if Mad Santa ever gets free,
他的怒火会毁了全世界
he'll unleash his fury on the world.
外卖♥♥
So you're telling me, with this slab,
你是说，有了这块板子
So you're telling me, with this slab,
我可以和别人讲话、拍自己的照片
I can communicate with others, take self-etchings,
并同时订购粥和鲱鱼吗？
and order gruel and herring at the same time?
这个世界真棒
- What a wonderful world this is. -
我的继母想要杀了我 好让她儿子继承时钟
祝你新年快乐