扪心问诊（2008）

And then... I don't know how much I had to drink
因为是他帮我点的酒
'cause he was ordering for me, of course.
然后他付了钱
And then he paid the bill and he asked me:
问我要不要去其他地方
"Would you like to go somewhere else?"
我说 "好啊 我想去洗手间"
And I said: "Yes, I'd like to go to the bathroom."
所以就去了洗手间
So I stood up and I went to the bathroom,
他跟了进去
he follows me
洗手间竟然是男女共用
and, you wouldn't believe it, but these were unisex bathrooms.
我是不是倒霉到家了？
Am I unlucky, or what?
为什么倒霉？
How do you mean unlucky?
我是想躲开那男生
Well, I'm running away from a guy
结果
and I'm...
了解 所以才走开
Yeah, you were trying to get away from the guy...
对 我想一个人去上厕所
Right, I mean, I needed to pee, you know, by myself,
我从三岁就靠自己了
I've been doing that since I was three.
所以我必须下决定
So I realized I needed to make a decision.
那男的跟进厕所 也等于给我最后通牒
By following me to the bathroom, this guy was also giving me an ultimátum.
我心想 "该死 才跳出火圈 又跌进火坑"
I thought: "Fuck! Out of the pan and into the fire."
我想躲开最后通牒
I ran away from one ultimátum,
结果这精虫冲脑的家伙 又来一个通牒
and there was this guy with a hard-on giving me another.
但我突然来了性致
Suddenly I felt like doing it.
从来没在厕所做过
I'd never had sex in a bathroom before.
难道就这样嫁给安德鲁
I mean, what? I should go and marry Andrew
却一辈子没在厕所搞过？
without ever knowing what a good bathroom fuck is all about?
年轻女生不是都该历练一下吗？
It's part of a young lady's education, isn't it?
所以这件事
So you wanted to do it, but
跟安德鲁无关
not to get back at Andrew?
只是想尝鲜？
Just for yourself.
没错
That's right.
像我这样被逼婚
A girl being forced into marriage
不然要怎样 无知到死？
and what is she supposed to do, die ignorant?
总之这家伙跟进厕所
So this guy follows me into the stall
我突然好想要他
and, suddenly, I was horny.
你会不会觉得恶心？
Is hearing about this disgusting to you?
不 我不觉得恶心 继续说吧
No. It's not disgusting. Go on.
他解开拉链 拉下裤子
He unzipped, pulled down his pants,
然后挺着他那大
and he stood there with this huge...
我好像又变成少女
Oh, God, I felt like I was sixteen
第一次碰那东西
touching it for the very first time.
没想到摸起来温温的
I was really surprised at how warm it felt.
我早该知道了 不是吗？
I mean, don't I know that already?
然后他把我转过去对着门
And then he turned me around to face the door,
拉下我的丝♥袜♥
and he pulled down my stockings,
把裙子撩起来
he lifted up my skirt,
又从后口袋掏出保险套
and put his hand into his back pocket and pulled out a condom.
我这才发现他驾轻就熟 经验丰富
I realized this guy is very good at this, he does this a lot.
是个中高手
He's a... he's a real pro.
然后有个家伙
And then this guy entered this stall next to us
进去隔壁间尿尿
and started peeing.
量超大 有如万马奔腾
And, gosh, it was full volume, like a racehorse.
我想到安德鲁
I thought of Andrew,
他早上尿尿也是这种声音
how he pees in the morning making the same sound.
我的心痛了一下
My heart ached, it was...
当下觉得好蠢
It was so stupid, you know,
突然难过了起来
I just felt so sad all of a sudden.
他站在我后面 使劲磨蹭
And he's behind me, and he's rubbing up against me
他对我有感觉了
and he's feeling me up.
我当时心想他真的要上了
And I thought to myself: "It's going to happen any moment now."
但我就是办不到
And I just... I just couldn't do it.
所以我把脚合紧
I simply closed my legs shut.
我不能背叛安德鲁
I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it to Andrew,
我办不到
I just couldn't do it.
好波折的一晚
Seems like quite a night out.
还没说完呢
Well, that's not the end of it,
那个白♥痴♥ 我跟他说
because this idiot, I told him,
"对不起 我有男友了
"I'm really sorry, but I have a boyfriend,
我不能这样"
I can't do this."
结果他变得很不客气
And he laughs in my face and says: "Boo-hoo!"
抓着我的手说
And he grabs my hands and he says:
"小妞 才爽到一半就没了？"
"Listen, cupcake, you think you can leave me high and dry like this?",
还指着屌♥说
pointing at his dick.
"好歹给个补偿"
"The least you can do is make it up to me."
我问他想干吗
I said to him: "What do you want?
是要钱吗？
Do you want some money?"
他说 "帮我撸出来
He said: "Give me a hand job
我们就当没事"
and there'll be no hard feelings."
我说 "你是哪里有毛病啊？
And I said to him: "What's the matter with you?
你疯了？"
Are you crazy?"
然后他就开始变脸
And he just... it was just getting really strange
气氛很紧张 他语气也变了
I mean, it was tense. His tone changed.
然后我想到你
And then... and then I thought of you,
想象你会怎么说
what you'd say about it.
还有我们会怎么聊这件事
I thought about us going through this in therapy.
你觉得我们会怎么说？
And what did you imagine us saying?
我觉得你一定没办法理解
I imagined you not being able to understand it.
你会觉得恶心
That you'd be disgusted.
所以你才跑过来？
Is that why you ran over here,
你想知道我会不会作呕？
to find out if I would be disgusted?
我没跑 我帮他撸了
I didn't run. I gave him the hand job.
不好意思
Excuse me.
-还好吗？-没事
-Are you OK? -Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
谢谢
Thank you.
我听你说了昨晚在酒吧的事
We... we talked about what happened at the club last night,
但你没说在那之前
but we never got back to actually talking about
和安德鲁是怎么吵起来的
Andrew and that argument, yesterday.
我不想被逼婚
I don't want to be put in this position.
我不想就这样 决定两个人的未来
I don't want to have this power to decide our future for both of us.
我就是不想
I just don't.
你觉得他为什么 挑这个时候提起来？
Do you have any idea why Andrew chose this particular time?
什么意思？
What do you mean?
你会不会觉得 安德鲁突然间
Do you think that Andrew just out of the blue,
就像你说的 莫名奇妙下了通牒？
as you said yourself, came up with this idea of an ultimátum?
过去几天或几个礼拜
Did you notice anything over the last couple of days or weeks
有没有发现什么端倪？
that you think might have brought this on?
没有吧 他就突然发飙了
Nothing, I don't know, he just lost it.
拜托 你不知道 男人越来越像女人？
I mean, shit, don't you know that men are the new women?
成天想着结婚 生小孩
Obsessed with weddings and children.
最近越来越夸张
And lately he's lost touch with reality.
他以为我在外面偷吃
He thinks I'm seeing someone.
所以故意找碴 有够扯的
That's how this whole thing started, it's unbelievable.
但我记得你说很突然
But I thought you said it came out of nowhere.
本来只是在看电视
You were watching TV, and then suddenly...
是没错 但是吃晚餐的时候
Well, we were watching TV, but before that we were having dinner and
他表情就怪怪的 好像很伤心
he had this look on his face. He had this sad look
我就知道不对劲
and I could just tell something was up.
一定看得出来的嘛
I mean, you can just tell, right?
我问他怎么了
And I said to him: "What's going on?"
他说 "我心里很乱
And he said: "I don't know what I want.
但我不想再这样反反复复"
I just know I don't want this on and off thing."
所以我说 "好啊"
So I said to him: "Sure,
那来摊牌 看是要结婚还是分手"
and then let's just decide, either we get married or we split."
所以是你先提的？
So you were the one who came up with it?
提什么？
With what?
最后通牒
The ultimátum.
不 他先开始的 是他讨厌反反复复 不是我
No, he's the one, he had the problem with the on and off thing, not me.
但"反反复复"有很多解释
Yeah, but "on and off" can mean several things.
是你下了明确定义 要分手还是结婚
You were the one who made it specific, get married or to split up.
那是你的最后通牒
That was your ultimátum.
是他一直说反反复
No, no, no. He had this thing with this on and oh...
最后通
the ultim...
好吧 的确是我先提的