扪心问诊（2008）

扪心问诊
第一季 第一集
"萝拉 周一早上九点"
-我就说吧 -说什么？
-I told you. -Told me what?
你会后悔叫我哭出来
That you'd be sorry you ever encouraged me to cry here.
我不后悔
I'm not sorry at all.
你没想到会这样吧
You didn't expect it to be like this, I bet.
怎么样？
Like what?
算了 根本就没用
You know what? It's disappointing.
还以为讲了能解脱
I thought I'd feel better, relieved.
-还以为会更有趣 -结果并没有
-I thought it'd be a lot more fun. -And it isn't.
糟透了
No, it's horrible.
我今天应该没办法聊了 保罗
I don't know if I'm able to talk today, Paul.
我不该来的 早知道
I shouldn't have come. I should've just...
早知道就取消 抱歉
I should've just called it off. I'm sorry.
你还好吗？
Are you all right?
-还好 -坐下 坐吧
-Yeah. -Sit down. Sit.
其实我在公园坐了四个小时
You know, I've been sitting out in the park for about four hours.
-外面这个？-对
-Here? -Yeah.
我想取消诊疗 可是
I wanted to call it off, the session, but
又不敢一个人回家
I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it home alone.
我搭计程车过来的 车子在家里
I took a cab here. My car is at home.
应该是吧
Oh, God. At least I think it is.
对 我放家里
Yeah, yeah. My car is at home.
冷死了
I was freezing.
-我差点敲门跟你要毛衣来穿 -什么时候？
-I came this close to knocking on your door and asking for a sweater. -When was that?
不知道 大概五六点吧
I don't know. Maybe 5 or 6, I can't remember.
反正天还没亮 我就坐着等日出
It was still dark. Waited for the sun to come up.
从来没为了日出等这么久
I never waited this long for a sunrise,
除了五年级去露营那次
except maybe on a camping trip in fifth grade.
谢谢
Thank you.
-你猜我那时在干吗？-你在干吗？
-You know what I did? -What?
我拿着手♥机♥ 盯着上面的时间
I held my cell phone and I watched the minutes go by.
感觉每一分钟都走得好久
It felt like forever for one minute to turn into the next.
我心想 这样也太蠢了吧？
I thought to myself: How stupid is this?
像被车子撞死的小动物 陈尸在诊所外面
Dying on the street like road kill outside your therapist's office.
对不起 保罗 我该取消才对
I'm sorry, Paul. I should've called it off.
根本不该来的
I shouldn't have come.
来找我是对的
You should have come here.
昨晚怎么了？
What happened last night?
也没怎么
What didn't happen.
你想听完整版还是听重点？
The long version or the bottom line?
反正简而言之
Because the bottom line's very simple.
我的人生完了
My life is over.
那就说说完整版吧
Then you better tell me the long version.
我离开安德鲁了
I left Andrew.
我们大吵一架
We had a big blowout:
又哭又叫的
screaming, crying, the works.
后来
And at some point
我打电♥话♥约阿珑娜出来喝酒
I called Delona and we went out for a drink
其实喝了不少
and we had a few drinks.
这不是我 我不在这里
Listen, I'm not here. I'm so totally not here.
你就坐在我面前 萝拉
You are very much here, Laura.
这不是我
No, it's not me that's here.
你眼前这个人太恐怖了
Believe me, you'd be shocked to know the person that's sitting here
我昨晚
It's...
昨晚做了很糟糕的事
I did some terrible things last night.
不太舒服
Oh... I feel sick.
又不能吐出来
I don't want to throw up.
没关系 吐就吐吧
It doesn't matter. It's no big deal.
怎么可以？
What do you mean? It's vomit.
我才不想弄脏你的毯子
I'm not going to vomit all over your rug.
反正是便宜货
It's a cheap rug, Laura.
不如说说你到底怎么了
Let's talk about what's really going on here.
是安德鲁
It's Andrew.
知道我在看医生还打来干吗？
He knows I'm here at this time. Why is he calling me here?
他担心你吧 毕竟整晚没回家
Maybe he's worried. You were out of the house all night.
最好是 那干吗给我扯一堆麻烦
Yeah, right. If he really cared, he wouldn't have started with this shit.
什么麻烦？
Start what?
酒吧有个男生
At the club, this guy.
天啊
Oh, my God,
他穿灯芯绒裤 一副公子哥儿打扮
He had corduroy pants on, preppy sweater.
我猜他是共和党
Republican probably.
我出去回一下电♥话♥好了 告诉他我在这
You know, I'm just going to step out for a second and let him know I'm here.
这样我没办法专心
I mean, I can't concentrate with this shit.
-马上就好 -萝拉 先别管手♥机♥
-Just a second. -Laura, the call can wait.
安德鲁下了最后通牒
Andrew gave me an ultimátum:
不结婚就分手
Either we get married or we split.
他这一两天就要答案 不然就分手
He said he wants an answer within a day or two at the most or else he's out.
他不想再这样下去
He said he can't take it anymore.
他说他爱我 但觉得我不是真心爱他
That he loves me. That he doesn't believe I love him. Not for real.
又说这两年 一直反反复复之类的
That it's been two years already, on and off, blah, blah, blah.
反正他就突然失控大发飙
I don't know why all of a sudden he just started ranting and raving.
我们讨论过这件事
We've talked about this stuff before.
但前提是我们还在一起
But it's all I fear if we stay together, if.
结果莫名奇妙
And then, suddenly, out of the blue,
我也忘了是什么状况
I can't even remember what we were doing.
我们在看电视
We were watching TV.
他突然站起来 拿遥控器关掉电视
All of a sudden he just gets off the couch and grabs the remote and turns off the TV.
两眼泛泪看着我
And he turns to me and he has tears in his eyes and he says:
说他再也受不了了
"That's it! I can't take it anymore.
真是莫名其妙
Wow. So out of line.
明明说好这件事先搁着
Promised he'd lay off the subject for a while
他是在哭个什么东西
and all of a sudden he's on this crying bullshit.
而且是真的哭出来
He actually burst out crying.
我没看他哭过
I'd never seen him like that before.
老实说 我被他吓到了
And to tell you the truth, it really scared me.
不对 我是生气
No, it made me angry.
为什么？
Why?
因为他想操控我 故意耍这种技俩
Because he's trying to manipulate me with these cheap chick tricks.
他大概以为我会心软
Maybe he thought he would break my heart or something.
或是想打动我
Or appeal to my... shit, you know.
算了 我也不知道
Forget it, I don't know.
结果我也火大了 像小孩一样耍脾气
He threw a tantrum, like a three year-old,
又吼又叫 叫他去死
screamed, cried. I told him to fuck off.
我跟他说他真的很过分
I told him he was a piece of shit for doing this to me
也不想想我这周在医院忙得要死
when he knows I am working double shifts at the hospital this week.
我把门甩上 把他的笔电整个摔烂
He slammed the door, smashed his laptop on the floor, he killed it.
然后打给阿珑娜 她就借我这件衣服
I ran out and I called Delona. She dressed me in this outfit.
这不是我的
It's... it's not mine.
我们去了她很喜欢的
And we went out for a drink
切斯特街那家喝酒
at a club that she likes on Chester Street.
她一直安抚我 跟我讲道理
She tried to calm me down, put things into perspective.
她说 她说我很好命
And she said... she said that I was lucky,
她也想有人疼 有人娶
that she wished somebody loved her enough to give her an ultimátum.
然后我们喝了起来
And then we drank.
其实只有我喝
Well... I drank.
那时吧台有个男生
And there was this guy at the bar
后来阿珑娜累了先回家
and at some point Delona said that she was tired and that she needed to go home.
那男的就靠过来
And then that guy moved next to me
你猜他说什么？
and, you know what he said?
他说 "你看起来好伤心"
He said: "You look so sad."
我说是吗？
And I said: "Really?"
他说 "对啊"
And he said: "Yeah, you do...
"你伤心的样子好美"
It looks good on you."
真好笑
"It looks good on you."
现在的人都不问
I mean, whatever happened to
有没有空 或是不是见过面
"Do you have the time?" or "Haven't we met before?", or...
我真是太落伍了
I must be totally out of touch, Paul.
你觉得呢？我难过的样子好看吗？
What do you think? I mean, do I look good when I'm sad?
我不觉得有谁 难过起来会好看的
I don't think anybody looks good when they're sad.
然后 我也不知道自己喝了多少