亢奋特别篇（2020）

♪ Taking it all for us ♪
♪ 这一切都是为了我们 ♪
♪ Taking it all ♪
♪ 都是为了我们 ♪
♪ Taking it all for us ♪
♪ 这一切都是为了我们 ♪
Hi. Hi.
早安 安
Oh, wait. Don't kiss me. I just woke up.
等等 别亲我 我刚睡醒
No, it doesn't matter. They're good luck kisses.
没关系 这些都是幸运吻
Oh, fuck. Wait. My presentation. What?
靠 等下 我要做简报 什么
Wait, what time is it? You're good. You're good.
等下 现在几点 没事 没事
You're good. It's eight. Okay.
没事的 现在才八点 好吧
You're good.
没问题
I'm so fucking nervous. You got it.
我超他妈紧张 你可以的
Mm, I can't fuck this up. You're gonna be...
这我可不能搞砸 你会...
You're gonna be amazing.
你一定表现超完美
Want me to walk you to school?
要我陪你去学校吗
Mm, I think I wanna listen to music and clear my head,
我更想听听音乐 整理下头绪
but I love you.
但我爱你的
I love you, too.
我也爱你
Go. Go.
去吧 去吧
You know whatever happens today, I'm proud of you.
你知道不论今天结果如何 我都为你骄傲
Can you believe it?
你相信吗
It's everything we dreamed of.
这是我们梦想的一切
Mm. I love you. I love you.
我爱你 我爱你
Shit.
操
♪ Felt so alone, nah-a-no ♪
♪ 很孤独 ♪
♪ I never felt so alone ♪
♪ 我从未感觉如此孤独 ♪
♪ Felt so alone, nah-a-no ♪
♪ 很孤独 ♪
You had pancakes, right?
你点的煎饼 对吧
Look, Ali, I know you don't believe me,
阿里 我知道你不相信我
but I'm, I'm doing really good, actually.
但我 过得真的很好
Is that so? Yeah.
是吗 恩
Yeah, for sure.
确实挺好的
I mean it, you know, could suddenly shit flip
一切随时可能原地俯冲
and get super dark? Yeah, you know.
变得超级黑暗 你也知道
I mean it could, but... I feel like I've found this, like,
我知道这有可能 但... 我感觉我找到了
amazing balance, where I'm like happy and healthy,
快乐和健康的完美平衡
and I'm not, like, looking to anybody else
我不再从别人身上
for that happiness, you know?
寻找那种快乐 你懂吧
Fuckin' Jules.
去他妈的朱尔斯
The way I was, like, putting way too much
以前我在她身上
of my emotional well-being in her hands, you know,
倾注了过多的情感
without ever, like, talking about it,
却对此闭口不谈
or, or saying it. I...
我从没说起过 我...
Especially the way I was fuckin'...
特别是我之前...
making plans for the rest of our life and shit. And I just...
连后面日子都他妈想好了 我...
And I look back and I'm just like, why the fuck did I do that?
现在回头想想 我他妈何必呢
It's fuckin' crazy. And weird.
太疯狂了 奇怪得很
Eh, I don't know.
我不知道
I guess I just, like, made her the point.
我之前 认为她是最重要的
But she's, like, not the point.
但她 其实并不是
I'm the point, you know?
我才是 你懂吧
The point is your sobriety.
戒断才是最重要的
Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
对 没错
And, and like, my, my general overall well-being.
还有我整体的身心健康
Which starts with your sobriety.
以你戒断为前提
Yeah.
对
And, like, finding an emotional balance, you know?
还有找到情绪上的平衡
You just said you found an amazing balance.
你刚说你找到了完美的平衡
I, I did.
确实
I have. I, I mean, but I'm not perfect, you know, so...
我找到了 我是说 我并不完美...
I'm, I'm sane, though.
但我现在清醒了
Like, I'm sane. Saner.
我比以前更理智
I'm making sane decisions.
我能做理智的决定
Rue.
鲁
You're high.
你嗑嗨了
I feel like you're not listening to what I'm saying.
我感觉你没在听我说的话
Rue, I don't think you're listening to what you're saying.
我觉得你没在听你自己说的话
I feel like that's physically impossible.
我觉得那根本不可能
To what? Talk some bullshit?
什么不可能 胡言乱语吗
You know, that's what, like, I, I don't understand
这就是我不理解
about the world.
这个世界的地方
'Cause, like, there is tons of people who, you know,
有那么一大堆人
drink and do drugs, and sometimes their life is good.
酗酒嗑药 有时他们过得很好
And sometimes, life's just bad, you know?
有时候 生活就是很糟糕
It's fucking life. There's ups and downs to this shit, but,
这他妈就是生活 有起有落 但
I mean, whether you believe me or not,
信不信由你
I'm, like, I'm good. Yeah, yeah, you said that.
反正我很好 你说过了
Yeah, I mean, it's not like I'm doing a bunch of shit.
对 我也没做什么糟糕的事
I'm just smoking a little bit of weed,
我就抽了点大♥麻♥
and taking some pills that were prescribed to me.
吃了点开给我的药
My point is, it's not gonna last.
我的意思是 这不会持久的
Yeah, well, neither do my moods when I'm sober.
我清醒的时候情绪也不太稳定
Okay, well, you know, I'm not saying you're, um,
行吧 我不是说你是个
a paragon of mental health.
能保持心理健康的完美之人
You've got your issues, and you're gonna be
你有自己的问题 你余生都会
struggling with those issues for the rest of your life.
一直被那些问题困扰
That's a fact.
这是事实
The problem is, is that you look at sobriety
问题在于 你把清醒状态
as a weakness in the face of those issues,
当作面对问题时的弱点
and what I'm saying is, sobriety is your greatest weapon.
而我是说 清醒状态应该是你最强大的武器
Yeah.
是啊
Ali, can I tell you something?
阿里 我能跟你说个事吗
Yeah.
说吧
Like, for real, if... If I say some dark shit,
说真的 如果... 如果我说了什么黑暗的东西
you're not gonna report me to the state or something?
你不会举报我什么的吧
Uh, Rue, I'm not a guidance counselor.
鲁 我不是指导顾问
I'm just a crackhead who's trying to do
我就是个瘾君子
a little good on this Earth before I die.
想着在我死前做点好事
Uh, you're, you're a trip, man.
你真有意思
What were you gonna say?
你想说什么
It doesn't matter. It's stupid. All right, I'm sorry. Come on.
不重要 都是蠢话 好吧 对不起 说吧
What were you gonna say? Say it. Nah. I don't wanna...
你想说什么就说吧 不 我不想...
Say it.
说吧
When I'm, uh, when I'm clean, you know,
当我 戒毒的时候
when I'm present, uh, like a part of this world,
当我活在当下 是世界的一份子的时候
I don't just think about relapsing.
我不只会想到复吸
It's, uh, it's darker than that.
我想得比那更黑暗
And, uh, you can say that sobriety is my, uh,
你大可以说清醒是我
greatest weapon, but...
最强大的武器 但...
To tell you the truth, drugs are probably
实话跟你说 嗑药可能是
the only reason I haven't killed myself.
我还没自杀的唯一原因
Now we're talkin'.
这才是我们要聊的
Now you're being real. Now you're being honest.
你终于说真话了 现在你很坦诚
Because this whole bullshit about being a functioning
因为你之前说的那些
drug addict, about finding balance,
生活正常的瘾君子 还有寻找平衡
that ain't true. That's a lie. It's not a lie.
都是一派胡言 那不是假话
It's a lie, whether you know it or not
是假话 不管你自己知不知道
but more importantly, I don't give a fuck to hear it.
更重要的是 我听都不想听
Yeah, whatever, man.
行吧 随便老兄
"Whatever, man"?
"随便 老兄"
Whatever, man.
随便 老兄
Listen, young blood.
听着 年轻人
I was shooting dope before your mama's egg dropped.
我比你大得不是一星半点
I've lived a whole motherfuckin' life to get to this diner
我可活了大半辈子了 才在这小餐馆
to sit across from your arrogant ass,
跟你这傲慢小鬼面对面吃东西
so don't you ever "whatever" me.
所以别跟我说"随便"
You're 17. You don't know shit.
你才17岁 什么都不懂
You think you're hard? I'm harder.
觉得自己很辛苦吗 我更辛苦
You think you're tough? I'm tougher.
觉得自己很难吗 我更难
You got clean and want to kill yourself?
你戒毒了就想去自杀
Same motherfuckin' story here.
我之前也这么想