无人入眠（2023）

无人入眠
第一季第三集

(晚上8点45分)
真有趣
Interesting.
我觉得是下巴
I'd have to say the chin.
没下巴你也能活
You could live without a chin?
绝对没问题
Easily.
但该如何防止牙齿 从你脸的底部掉下来呢
But what would stop your teeth from falling out the bottom of your face?
相信我 我能应付得来
Trust me. I'd cope.
不管怎样 总比你的 “无膝盖”生活好得多
Anyway, it'd be a much better life than you with your "no knees."
只剩两条无法弯曲的腿 太荒谬了
Just two stiff legs. Ridiculous.
例如 你将如何驾驶叉车
For instance, how would you drive a forklift?
这事与我无关
That wouldn't concern me.
霹雳舞 你将无法跳霹雳舞
Break-dance. You couldn't break-dance.
同样的 这不会影响我的生活
Again, that is just not something that would affect my life.
没有膝盖我也能轻松生活 尤其是我的膝盖 我讨厌它们
I could easily live without knees. Especially my knees. I hate 'em.
你的膝盖没什么不好呀
There's nothing wrong with your knees.
什么意思 它们太巨大了
What do you mea--? They're massive.
当我穿紧身裤时
When I wear leggings,
看起来就像在里头私藏了花椰菜
it looks like I'm smuggling a couple of cauliflowers.
有趣 听着 我觉得更像小蜜橘
Interesting. See, I'd lean more towards satsumas.
谢了
Thanks.
是维基
Veggie.
他问我需要在机场买♥♥什么吗
Do I want anything from the airport?
还用问 一块巨大的三角巧克力 - 显然
A giant Toblerone. Obviously. - Obviously.
期待着维回家
Looking forward to Veg coming home.
或许会给他煮晚餐 - 什么 你
Might cook him dinner. - What, you?
是的 谢谢你 丹尼尔 我会烹饪
Yes. Thank you, Daniel. I can cook.
无论如何 今晚是你的大日子
Anyway, tonight's the big night.
艾米什么时候到
What time's Amy arriving?
9点出
Just after 9:00.
等她接待完最后一个客户
After she's finished with her last client.
对了 她的职业是
Yeah. What's she do again?
私人教练 - 私人教练
Personal trainer. - Personal trainer.
我和一个私教交往过 你知道吗
I went out with one of them. Do you know what?
他会暂停前戏来戴他的健身表
He used to stop foreplay to put his fitness watch on.
坦白说 这挺扫兴的
It was a bit of a mood killer, if I'm honest.
是吗 这提醒了我
Really? That reminds me.
约会网站的密♥码♥是什么来着
What's the password for the dating site again?
只是想检查一下我的私聊信息
I just wanna check my DMs to make sure I'm not
确保没有重复说的故事
repeating myself with stories.
好的 马铃薯123
Yeah. Potato123.
马铃薯...123
Potato-- Potato123?
对 马铃薯123
Yeah. Potato123.
马铃薯123... - 那你是如何...
Potato123. Potato123. Potato123. - So, how did you
告诉她你“没法踏出门”这事
tell her about the whole not-being-able-to-go-out thing?
对 你会喜欢听到这个
Yeah. You'll like this.
我并没说
I didn't.
丹尼 就告诉她吧 她会理解的
Danny, just tell her. She'll understand.
这可是我们的初次约会
It's a first date.
等我们认真交往时我会告诉她的
I'll tell her when things get more serious.
像是等到我们一起住在养老院时
Like when we're in a care home together.
好吧...那你准备煮什么
All right. Fine. So what are you gonna cook?
丹尼尔 要放在哪里 - 放柜台上 谢谢你 亚当
Where do you want it, Daniel? - On the counter. Cheers, Adam.
由亚当来煮
Is Adam cooking?
不 他只是去买♥♥了些食物
No, he just picked up a few things.
带上我
Take me with you.
嗨 亚当 - 嗨 丽瑟
Hi, Adam. - Hi, Leese.
火扑得如何
How's the firefighting?
是 很好 其实不好 着火不是好事
Yeah, good. Well, not good. No fire is good.
这是我们的主要规章
It's our main rule.
好的 让我来解释给你听
Okay. So, let me talk you through these.
我今早就去“觅食”了 所以食物都非常新鲜
I went foraging this morning, so it's as fresh as can be.
丹尼 他刚说“觅食” - 应该是 没错
Danny, did he just say foraging? - I think so, yeah.
这里头装的是荨麻 这是一年中它们生长得最好的时段
So in here, you've got your nettles. This is the best time of year for them.
很惊讶吃荨麻居然还有好时段
I'm surprised there's ever a good time to eat nettles.
然后还有野蒜和栗子
Then you've got your wild garlic and your chestnuts.
有问题吗
Any questions?
不知道从哪儿问起 - 好的 对我来说
I don't know where to begin. - Okay, so, for me,
我喜欢把它们都用油炒一下 然后伴着菰米饭一起吃
I like to fry it all up with oil and then have it with some wild rice.
你有菰米吗
Have you got any wild rice?
我有菰米吗 - 没有 你没有菰米
Do I have any wild rice? - No. You don't have wild rice.
别担心 我来搞定 马上就回来 别走开
Don't worry. I got you. I'll be back in a sec. Don't go anywhere.
丹尼 你不觉得亚当帮你做太多事
Danny, don't you think Adam does enough for you?
他帮你洗衣 买♥♥东西 现在你还让他到树林里觅食
He does your washing, shopping and now you've got him in the woods foraging.
他乐于助人 我不会阻止他的
He likes to lend a helping hand. I'm not gonna stop him.
我觉得你在占他便宜
I think you're taking advantage.
拿来了 菰米
Here we go. Wild rice.
太棒了 谢谢 好了 亚当 听好了
Brilliant. Thank you. Right, Adam. Listen up.
我们刚才聊到
We were just talking.
如果得失去身体的一个部位 你会选择什么
If you had to live without a body part, what would it be?
亚当
Adam?
亚当
Adam? Adam?
亚当 - 亚当
Adam? - Adam?
我不知道能失去哪个部位
I don't know what I could,
但我绝对不能没有鼻子
but I definitely couldn't live without my nose.
为何 - 我会想念它
Why not? - I'd just miss it.
我是否跟你们提起过
Did I ever tell you about that time
我叔叔布莱恩于1990年代 在建筑工地的事
my uncle Brian worked in construction in the '90s?
当时他和同事特雷弗一起工作
So there he was with his mate Trevor, working away
他们头顶近两米宽的金属板松脱
when this six-foot sheet of metal above them comes loose,
掉了下来 没伤到我叔叔 但嗖的一声...
falls down, misses my uncle, but whoosh--
击中同事特雷弗
Catches his mate Trevor.
把他的鼻尖削掉了
Slices the end of his nose off.
不知怎么的 被我叔叔找到了鼻尖
Somehow my uncle found the tip.
他想都没想就...
And without a moment's thought...
不 别吃它 - 把它塞进嘴里
No! Don't eat it! - ...he popped it in his mouth.
他把它放进嘴里
He put it in his mouth?
你也会这么做 不是吗 - 不 不会
You would, wouldn't you? - No, you wouldn't.
不 为何会这么做 - 不 不会
No. Why would you do that? - No. You wouldn't.
口腔是让它保持新鲜的最佳地方
The mouth is the best place to keep it fresh.
不 很抱歉 这不可能是真的
No. I'm sorry. That just can't be true.
等等 你叔叔吮吸了他同事的鼻子
So wait. Your uncle sucked on his mate's nose?
这简直不卫生 那后来了
That's just not hygienic. So what happened?
他们把特雷弗和鼻尖送去外科医生
They took Trevor and the tip to the surgeon
并把它缝合了
and got it stitched back on.
现在我叔叔是特雷弗女儿的干爹
Now my uncle's godfather to Trev's daughter.
至于他的鼻子 从某些角度看 完全看不出
And as for his nose, from some angles, you would never know.
但某些角度的话 确实有点像根严重裂开的香肠
But from others, it did look a bit like a badly-split sausage.
好了 我最好赶紧离开
Right. I'd better shoot.
我得上楼帮沙米姆先生洗个澡
Gotta pop upstairs and help Mr. Shamim into his bath.
有任何问题 我就在对门 好吗
Any problems, I'm just across the hall, all right?
谢谢你 亚当 感激 - 丽瑟 再见
Cheers, Adam. Appreciate it. - Bye, Leese!
再见
Bye.
那家伙实在太好了 很难相信他还单身
That guy's just too nice for his own good. I can't believe he's still single.
你从没这么说过我
You never say that about me.
但丹尼 我很难理解
But, Danny, I find it hard to comprehend
怎么会有人愿意跟你约会 - 对 有道理
that anyone ever went out with you. - Yeah. Fair.
我开玩笑的
I am joking.
她最好配得上你 这个艾米
She better be good enough for you, this Amy.
她最好别取笑你有多奇葩
And she better not tease you about how weird you are.
什么 就像你刚刚那样
What, like you just did there?
是的 但这不一样 因为我可以这么做
Yeah. But that's different. 'Cause I'm allowed.
是 好的 说实话 我有点害怕
Yeah. All right. I'm a bit terrified, if I'm honest.
我跟她的所有聊天
The whole talking,
给她发短♥信♥的距离
texting to her from a distance of at least,
至少有36平方公里左右 这都已经够可怕的
14 square miles, that's terrifying enough.
但让她到我公♥寓♥里 如此靠近我的内♥裤♥抽屉
But to have her here in the flat, yards away from my underwear drawer.
我得跟她说话 说些有趣的事
Expecting me to talk, say interesting things.
这太可怕了 我不知道别人是怎么做到的
It's horrifying. I don't know how people do this, you know?
我也没什么故事可讲
I don't have any stories to tell as well.