剧集 | 无人入眠（2023） | 导航列表
You got your keys, right?
Yeah. Yeah, got them.
There you are. Thought you might be asleep for a second.
不 一如既往 还没睡
Nope. Still up, as always.
How's the sleep app working?
Well, I tried it again the other night.
那家伙本该哄你入睡的 对吧 但他的声音太性感了
The fella's meant to talk you to sleep, right? But his voice is so sexy,
I started fantasizing about him rescuing me from a burning oil rig.
Which, you know, is great but useless if you're an insomniac.
Have you ever tried them?
Hypnotism, acupuncture, none of it works.
I bought a book online
called One Thousand and One Sleep Cures and Remedies. Rubbish.
It's full of crap. Like, wear a hat full of lavender.
Listen to a recording of someone else sleeping.
Only inhale through one nostril.
Sleep on a soft mattress. Sleep on a hard mattress.
Get the soft mattress on top of the hard mattress.
Then sleep on them both.
Pray to a Norse god. Ignore your eyes.
不 好的 听着
No. All right, look,
I may have made a couple of those up, but, you know.
Sorry, I didn't listen to a word you just said.
Danny, why are you crawling around in the dark?
你认识我那个邻居吧 - 什么 那个“猫人”
You know my neighbor? - What, the pussy person?
那个“猫男” - 喜欢吗
The Cat Man. - You like that?
For some unfathomable reason, he invited me to his cat's birthday party.
How old is it?
It's 17. We all chipped in and got it driving lessons.
I had to come up with an excuse for why I couldn't attend,
and in hindsight, I went a little bit overboard.
Why? What'd you tell him?
I was going on a month-long sabbatical staying at every Disneyland in the world.
你为何这么对他说 - 我从没去过 一直想去
Why did you tell him that? - Never been. Always wanted to.
I thought now would be a good time to go.
But you never even go out.
是的 我知道 我的逻辑有问题
Yeah, I know. There are flaws to my logic.
And now he thinks I'm away.
He's having the party on my patio. It's been going on for hours.
Right, so is that your plan for the next month?
Every time he's outside, you're just gonna crawl around in the dark?
Yeah. I'm committed now.
而且 往好方面想 我可以在灯泡上少花很多钱
And, on the bright side, think of all the money I'll save on light bulbs.
Why don't you just pull the curtains?
I don't have any.
And if I get some and I put them up and he sees them, he'll think,
“这些窗帘是哪来的 ” 也就会知道我在家
"Where did those curtains come from?" And he'll know I'm in.
So it's like a catch-22.
Just a thought.
What are you gonna do about food?
Or is Adam across the hall still doing your shopping for you?
No, I had to make him believe I'm in Disneyland too.
You know what he's like.
他如果知道真♥相♥ 半分钟内 整栋楼的人都会知道这事
If he knew the truth, he'd spill the beans to the whole building in 30 seconds.
没错 - 听着 没事的
Yeah. - Look, it's fine.
我没事 我很好 我就靠屋里的食物过活 那就是...
I feel fine. I feel good. I'm just gonna live off what's in the flat, which is...
a jar of mayonnaise and a variety pack of Frosties.
是的 我考虑得不够周全 对吧
Yeah, I didn't think this through properly, did I?
This is one of those times where being able to go outside
或许会很有帮助 - 是吗 谢了
might be quite useful. - Would it? Thank you.
可没办法 而现在我饿了 我得叫个披萨
Well, I can't help it. And now I'm hungry. I'm gonna have to order a pizza.
Cat Man, deliveries.
Hiding from someone is so complicated.
I'm gonna risk it.
I'll use it as a dummy run, see if it's possible.
Cat Man can't stay out there forever.
Right. One anchovy and pineapple.
Anchovy and pineapple?
完全正确 正在送来 你在哪里
Absolutely. On the way. Where are you?
Poppy's chicken pox.
She is still scratching herself like a little baboon,
and we've run out of Peridyne.
And on top of that, most of her class has now come down with it.
整整一周 家长们的 WhatsApp短♥信♥都传疯了 我感觉糟透了
Parents' WhatsApp has been going nuts all week. I feel terrible.
Why do you feel terrible?
Remember how I said
I didn't take Poppy on the school trip
因为她出水痘 - 妈妈 怎么啦
because of her chicken pox? - What's wrong, Mummy?
是的 我们马上就走 - 妈妈
Yeah, we'll be going in a minute. - Mummy!
I've just gotta make something first.
Well, I kind of did.
There. Now you really look like a sheep.
咩 - 咩
Baa! - Baa.
There was no way I was gonna bail.
What, and let Zach's bitchy mum get one over on me again?
Everything okay there?
It's just how we do it at home.
We had lasagna last night. Total chaos.
I could tell she was getting suspicious, but I totally got away with it.
真狡猾 还有 这涉及道德问题
Crafty. And, you know, morally questionable.
别开口 我看到一则广♥告♥ 是一种叫史努瑟的新药
Don't you start. I saw this ad for some new pills called Snoozers.
Extra strength for proper insomniacs.
I should see if I can get some in here.
不 别买♥♥ 它们没法使你入睡
No, don't. They don't knock you out.
They just make everything taste like cabbage.
Apart from cabbage, which, you know, already has that slightly cabbage-y taste.
But you know what I'm gonna say, don't you?
No. Can we please go one night without having this conversation?
I'm not going with you to a sleep clinic.
No. People with clipboards watching me kip?
When I sleep, I don't like an audience.
Also, what if, you know--
What if when I'm snoozing...
I touch myself?
I mean, do you touch yourself when you sleep?
I don't know, but judging by how much I do when I'm awake,
I wouldn't be ruling it out.
对了 维基难道不会介意 你我一起过夜吗
Anyway, wouldn't, you know, Veggie mind you spending the night with me?
I doubt it. He just thinks of you as one of the girls. You know,
basically a lady.
Does he? Well, that's nice to know.
等等 维基打来了 待会儿给你回电
Hang on. Veggie's calling. I'll call you back.
Panic over. She is asleep,
and I am the best stepdad ever.
How did you manage that?
I just read to her.
Well, I tried that. What'd you read?
Well, you know, just The History of Bricks.
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