26种新死法（2014）

本片系《26种死法》的续集，
再次由世界各地26位恐怖片先锋新锐导演各自♥拍♥摄26部风格迥异的恐怖短片，
每位导演被委派一个英文字母作为自己负责的拍摄任务
每部短片的片名须为以该字母所构成的单词，
导演们被赋予了充分的艺术自♥由♥和创作空间，
可以随心所欲讲述一个与该单词相关的死亡故事
出发
Okay.
靠
No.
尼玛
Come on.
嘿，伙计们，瞧这个
Hey, boys, look at this.
把牌放下，骚鞑♥子♥
Put the cards down, you cunts.
就这样，抚摸她的头发，继续，继续摸
That's it, touch her hair.Go on. Go on.
喔，不错
Oh, yeah.
不错，不错，这俩母狗颜值真高
Yeah, yeah.Two fuckin' beautiful faces.
舌吻
Kiss her.
对，就这样
Yeah. That's it.
对，咪♥咪♥绝赞
Yeah. Fuckin' tits.
妈的，害什么臊！
Don't fuckin' care.
三周后
怎么有股怪味？
What is that fucking smell?
你笑一笑会死啊？
Would it kill you to smile?
妈的劳资一个月6000块，租了这种茅坑一样的破地方
Fuckin' $6,000 a month to rent this place and it stinks like shit.
A:《生手》
导演：E·L·卡茨（代表作：《死魂盒》编剧，《尸体解剖》编剧）
嗨，我是彼得·托兰，欢迎来到“托兰大世界”
Hi, I'm Peter Toland,welcome to "Toland's World".
这周我们来到诺丁汉郡的“发霉山谷”
This week we're in Elderberry Vale in Nottinghamshire,
一个正在蓬勃发展的传统英国乡村
a thriving stretch of classic English countryside,
确切来说是无数土生土长动植物的家园
home to literally thousands of indigenous plants and animals,
比如有已逾400年的猪獾洞穴
including a 400-year-old badger sett,
它们世代以来把这个山丘都挖成筛子了
which has crisscrossed this hill for untold generations.
但是近两年来猪獾都绝迹了，因为。。。
But in the last two years, the badgers have disappeared because
一个暗影降临了山丘，它是这么个模样的。。。
a shadow has fallen across this hill,a shadow in the form of this...
摄像头能挪开了吗？喂？
Are you gonna pan off me?Hello?
能把镜头对准发电站吗？要么。。。
Are you going to pan to the power station? Or...
行了，卡！彼得，我们得剪掉这段
Yeah OK, cut!Sorry, Peter we gotta cut there.
不，不，别剪，别剪
No-no, don't cut.Do not cut.
怎么了？
What's happening?
抱歉，之前我们失焦了几次所以...
Sorry, we lost focus a few times earlier so...
嗯？我们失焦还是你失焦了？
Yeah? We lost focus or you,you lost focus?
我...再来一次我能做好的，彼得
I... I could... I could do with another crack at that, Peter.
-抱歉
-Sorry, yes.
-你能做好？再来一次
-Could you? Another crack.
嗯，这是怎么回事？
Well, what's going on?
你对焦失败了，这才是关键所在
You lost focus.That's the whole point.
你就是干这一行的，对吗，布莱恩？
That's your job, isn't it, Brian?
我们没想到
We just didn't realize
你来回走动那么频繁所以...
you were going to move around so much so...
我当然要来回走动，我选择，我喜欢
Of course I move around,that's my style.
有些幅度实在太大了
There were some quite large movements.
我们送你根香肠尝尝，彼得，如果这...
We could whack down a sausage for you, Peter, if that's...
我不吃什么狗屁香肠，自己拿去用吧
I don't want a sausage.Shove it up your ass!
不...你瞧，我是说，也许...
No... Look, all I meant was,maybe there's...
不，阁下，让我来给你一些人生经验，如何？
No, look, Don, let me explain how this works, OK?
我叫约翰
It's John.
随你叫什么，我要来回走，你跟着我拍
Whatever your name is.I move around, you follow me.
这就是“托兰大世界”的风格，如同翩翩起舞
That's the way it works on Toland's World, it's like a dance.
- 懂否？
- OK?
- 嗯，明白了
- Yeah I get it.
那我们应该剪掉重来还是...
So should we cut now and go again, or...
不...不，我说卡你再停，这是规矩
No... no, I say cut,that's how it works on the show.
明白了吗？除非我说卡，不然一直拍
OK? I call cut and until then we keep filming.
明白了吗？嗯，这就是规矩
You got that?Right, that's how we roll.
- 行吗？好
- Alright? Good.
- 妥，欧了
- OK, yeah.
真是杠王
Prick.
听着，老实说不要发愁
Look, honestly,don't worry about it.
这就是个沙文主义秀
It's just a little alpha male display
都会过去的，我保证
and it'll all blow over,I swear to you.
你瞧，他知道你和阿滕伯勒共事，对吧？
Look, he knows you worked with Attenborough, right?
所以他觉得，觉得地位有点受威胁
So he just feels,he just feels a bit threatened.
哦，对，都是为了银豹奖
Oh, right, it's all about the Silver Leopard Awards.
嗯，他有点杠人，你干的不错
Yeah, he's a bit raw.Well done though.
干的漂亮，真的漂亮
Good work. Really good work.
- 嗯，庆祝一下
- Yeah, cheers.
- 那么，他认为他应该..
- What, so does he think he should
-获得奖杯还是...？
-他被提名了三次了
-have won them or...?
-He's been nominated three times,
眼下他认为阿滕伯勒在拆他的台
and now he thinks Attenborough's rigging it.
我明白了，明白了
I know, I know.
那是什么？
What was that?
别说话，让我听听，嘘
Hang on, let me listen,let me listen, hang on.
贪婪的小动物
Greedy little buggers.
瓦屋
Whoa.
你还是...你搞明白没，布莱恩？
You still...You getting this, Brian?
嗯...是猪獾
Yeah... the badgers.
有意思吧？有意思
Having fun are we? Big fun.
玩耍时间，带我玩耍带我飞
Fun times. Clue me in.Let's have a laugh.
- 彼得，这里还有猪獾
- Peter, the badgers are still here.
- 依然獾特猪
- The badgers are still...
不，由于发电站的毒气，猪獾都死了
No, the badgers are dead because of the toxins from the power station.
刚刚只是一段小插曲
That's what the episode is about.
- 你瞧，我们把这放进...
- Look, we put the...
- 放进什么？
- Put what?
我认为拍摄不能再继续下去了
I don't think we should carry on filming.
你听着，你算老几？你最后才闲庭信步地走过来
Listen, you. Who are you anyway? You waltz in here at the last minute,
-发号♥施令
-我可没有闲庭信步，你...
-calling the shots.
-I didn't waltz in anywhere. You...
我不想再听你扯淡了，行吗？
I don't want to hear any more from you, OK?
但是听着，彼得
But listen, Peter.
能听懂人话吗？
Can you hear me?
我意思是你来真的？
I mean is this for real?
当然来真的，还得更真一点
Of course it's real,and it's gonna get more real,
因为马上就有人要挨揍了
because someone's gonna get punched in a minute.
你看
Look, please.
听着彼得，我只是想提供帮助
Listen Peter,I'm just trying to help.
我不再想听你说任何废话
I do not wanna hear one more word from you.
我不说话难道还发短♥信♥？
Shall I text you? Or...?
哦，噢
Oh. Ow.
我不想站在这，拉我一下
Well don't just stand there.Give me a hand.
佛祖啊
Jesus!
彼得，彼得！
Peter! Peter!
彼得，沃妮马！
Pete, oh, God!
彼得？
Peter?
彼得？
Peter?
我了个艹
Oh, Jesus.
卡。。。。
Cut...
B:《獾》
导演：朱利安·巴拉特（代表作：《神奇动物管♥理♥员♥》系列）
安静！安静！安静！
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!
大家安静，安静
People, settle. Settle.
我们会主持正义但不是在这里
Justice will be done but not here.
弗莱彻·鲍威尔，本庭判处你有罪
Fletcher Powell,this court finds you guilty
罪名是谋杀了露西·威尔逊
of the murder of Lucy Wilson.
我没有杀她！我没杀她！
I didn't kill her!I did not kill her!
你们放了我！
You need to let me go!
你们得报♥警♥！狗屁法律！
You need to call the police.Fuck law!
你们得以合法途径解决这件事！唯一的途径！
You need to deal with this the right way! The only way.
本地所有问题都是内部解决
All local matters are dealt with internally.
你懂的，这事关法律
You know that.This is a matter of law!
你们不要越级办事！
Your authorities do not stretch to those boundaries!
巴克利...
Barclay...
如果你立刻认罪，我们会致电有关部门
If you confess now, we shall call the proper authorities.
如果你抵赖，今天下午就会被处决
Deny, and you will be executed this afternoon.
- 不要停！
- Don't stop!
- 带他去他♥娘♥的♥小树林里去！
- Take him to the fucking woods!
好吧，我杀了露西