枫糖大劫案（2024）

多年来 魁北克的枫糖农民
一直维持着价值超过 一亿八千万美元的枫糖战略储备
在2011年 有人偷了大量的枫糖浆
这绝对不是关于
加拿大枫糖浆大劫案的真实故事
第一章
起点
斯蒂克斯先生
Monsieur Steeks?
斯蒂克斯先生
Monsieur Steeks?
奥瓦儿斯蒂克斯先生
Mr. Orval Steeks?
有人在家吗
Anyone home?
有人吗
All??
斯蒂克斯先生
Mr. Steeks?
我们是警♥察♥
It's the police.
斯蒂克斯先生
Mr. Steeks?
我们接到电♥话♥说这里发生了骚乱
We got a call about a disturbance?
也许邻居听到的只是浣熊
Maybe the neighbours heard a raccoon?
那肯定到处都是屎
There would be shit everywhere.
这里确实到处都是屎
There is shit everywhere.
来 我们走吧 这里什么事都没有
Come on, let's go. There's nothing here.
那是什么声音
What's that?
应该是《蟑螂之歌♥》吧
I think it's La Cucaracha.
我知道是《蟑螂之歌♥》... 但声音是从哪来的
I know it's La Cuc-- But where is it coming from?
是枫糖浆 味道也不错
It's syrup. It's good, too.
他肯定是不小心把手♥机♥掉...
Must've dropped his phone while he was--
该死的
Fuck!
该死 - 天啊
Oh God! Oh God! - Shit.
我要生病了
I'm gonna be sick.
枫糖大劫案
第一季第一集

48小时前
2011年
喂
Hey! Hey! Hey!
别碰我的东西
Don't touch my fucking shit!
喂 别碰我的树
Hey! Get your hands off my trees!
不准碰
Get 'em off!
好吧 不好意思 夫人...
Okay, pardon me, Ms...?
别碰我的树
Don't touch my tree!
抱歉 我是魁北克枫糖协会的成员
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm with the Association érable Québec.
我不是笨蛋 我懂法语
I'm not stupid. I speak French.
你是露丝兰德里吗
Are you Ruth Landry?
不 我是詹妮弗安妮斯顿 我喜欢在这里隐居
No, I'm Jennifer Aniston, this is where I like to lay low.
你在浪费我的钱
You're spilling my money.
你的农场被查封了
Your farm's being shut down.
什么
What?
而且我们还要没收你之前收获的糖浆
And we're also confiscating all your previously harvested syrup.
这是什么东西
What is this shit?
你被认为是无证经营者
Well, you have been deemed an unlicensed operator.
是啊 这是谁干的
Yeah. Well, who... Who did this?
是莱昂纳尔干的吗
Was it-was-was this... Was this Léonard?
是莱昂纳尔 对吧
What... It was Léonard, wasn't it?
我只需要你丈夫的签名
All I need is a signature from your husband,
这件事搞定了 我可以和他谈谈吗
so we can clear this up, if I can speak with him?
你敢再碰我土地上的任何东西
Touch one more thing,
我就会找到你住的地方 然后把它烧了
and I will find out where you live and burn it down!
不止你的房♥子 还有鸟儿 松鼠
Not just your house, but the birds and the squirrels,
还有该死的橡子 电线 所有的一切
and all the fucking acorns, and the power lines, the whole deal.
如果你觉得我是在夸大其词 你可以到处问问看
If you think I'm exaggerating, you just ask around!
祝你生日快乐 我的雷米
Happy birthday, my Rémy
祝你生日快乐 我的雷米
Happy birthday, my Rémy
祝你生日快乐 我的雷米
Happy birthday, happy birthday Happy birthday, my Rémy
老爸 拜托了
Papa, come on!
祝你生日前一天快乐 伙计
Happy day before your birthday, mon homme!
许个愿吧
Make a wish!
最好还是不要吧 我在戒糖
Uhh... I better not... I'm off sugar.
嗯 抱歉
Yeah, sorry.
那么 虎宝 你有想过 你的派对要怎么办吗
So, Tiger, have you thought about what you want to do for your party?
我不知道 老爸
Uh... I don't know, Dad.
我今天有重要的事
I've got a big day today.
我们可以晚点再谈吗 等我演示完毕后
Can we talk about it later? After my presentation?
你准备好了吗
Are you ready?
嗯 准备好了
Yeah, I am.
但你迈入40岁的时刻仅此一次
But you only turn 40 once.
对
Yeah...
老爸
Dad!
一个小礼物
A little gift.
谢谢
Thank you.
安♥南♥德斯里哈利 《你的指路明灯》
银行的贝丝一直在听这个 现在她表现得很出色
Beth at the bank has been listening to this, and now, she's killing it.
但我的表现也很出色 爸
But I'm also killing it, pa.
那是肯定的
Of course you are!
嗯
Yeah.
谢谢
Thanks!
酒吧 伊冯之家
LADIES WELCOME
来电 波(手♥机♥)
嘿 朋友 今天是每个月的第二个周二 所以...
Hey, pal, second Tuesday of the month, so...
我不叫朋友 我叫德尼
Not "pal"... Denis.
抱歉 德尼斯
Sorry. Dennis.
不对 不是“德尼斯” 是德尼
Not Dennis. Denis.
德尼
Denis.
德尼
Denis.
德尼 - 没错
Denis. - Yeah!
嘿 伙计们 糖果达人又回来了
The candyman's back!
嗯 听好了 我必须拿到这个月的钱
Yeah, uh... Well, look, I really need this month's money.
而且我今天过得很糟糕 所以我们就...
And I've had a shit day, so...
抱歉
Sorry.
棒棒糖想要他的奖励
Lollipop wants his reward.
我们每次都得这样吗
We have to do this every time?
别搞花样 就直接把钱给我
Keep it simple and give me the money.
这笔钱吗 - 对
This money? - Yeah.
这是你家族的钱
This belongs to the family.
和我做交易的是他们
My deal is with them.
我怎么知道你不会把钱弄丢 软蛋
How do I know you won't lose it? Candy-ass...
抱歉 跟你开玩笑而已 伙计
Sorry. Just messing with you, man.
替我向查理问好
Say hi to Charlie for me.
莱昂纳尔
Léonard!
莱昂纳尔
Léonard?
你在哪里 莱昂纳尔
Where are you, Léonard?!
你好 兰德里夫人 有什么... - 滚开 莱昂纳尔
Hello, madame Landry. Can I-- - Blow me. Léonard!
有什么事吗 - 让我跟你♥爸♥谈谈 呆瓜
Can I help you? - Let me talk to your dad, numbnuts.
莱昂纳尔现在没空 露丝
Léonard is not available right now, Ruth,
但作为魁北克枫糖协会的总经理...
but as Chief Manager of the AEQ--
闭嘴 利欧
Oh, shut up,
我不是来跟该死的秘书说话的 莱昂纳尔 我知道你能听见的
I'm not talking to a fucking secretary. Léonard, I know you can hear me!
好吧 我不是他的秘书 好吗
I'm not his secretary, all right?
我是协会的总经理
I'm the Chief Manager of the Association.
听好了 小子 我不想解释这个世界的运作方式
Listen, I don't wanna explain the ways of the world to you,
但有个说了算的老头
but there's an important old man
在办公室里面... - 是的
in an office.
而你却在外面的办公桌前接电♥话♥
And you're at a desk outside it, answering the phone,
阻止人们闯入
stopping people from walking by.
那你就是个该死的秘书
That makes you a fucking secretary!
我不是该死的秘书 好吗
No, I'm not a fucking secretary.
我是“无证经营者”
I'm an unlicensed operator?!
该死的 - 露丝
Goddamn it! - Ruth!
什么风把你吹... - 闭嘴 莱昂纳尔
How nice of you to-- - Oh, shut up, Léonard!
有个戴着围巾的白♥痴♥ 刚刚拔掉了我们的管道系统
Some ditz in a scarf just yanked our taps!
她有说是怎么回事吗
Did she say what it was about?
她说我没有经营自己的农场的许可证
That I'm not licensed to work my own farm
一个我经营了几十年的农场
that I've been working for decades!
魁北克的繁文缛节 确实令人头疼 我理解
The red tape in Quebec can be maddening, I know.
但问题是
But the thing is...
注册经营者是马丁
Martin is the registered operator,
但据我所知 他并没有在经营
and as far as I know, he... he's not operating.
他已经昏迷了 你想让我怎么做
He's in a coma! What do you want me to do?
重新提交文件 把你的名字写上去
Re-file the paperwork and put your name on it.