羊急了也跳墙（2015）

凯蒂！
Katie!
凯蒂！
Katie!
凯蒂,给我滚过来！
Katie, get your skinny ass over here!
很好！
Alright!
我们开始吧
Here. We. Go.
太好了！
Yeah!
我不行
I can't.
我爱你,你办得到的
I love you. You can do this.
这会很有趣的
It's gonna be awesome.
-凯蒂,不要这么没胆 -嘿
-Katie, don't be such a pussy. -Hey.
-你想得美 -整夜都不用睡喔,国中生
-You wish. -Sleepover. 9th grade.
讨厌,你怎么还能记得所有的事？
Gross. How come you remember everything?
谁爱这样？
Who loved it?
凯蒂会玩吗？如果她也玩,我才想玩
Is Katie playing? I only want to do it if she's doing it.
她会一起玩
She's playing.
凯蒂会玩吧
Katie's fine.
我不会嗑药
I'm not taking drugs.
只有你和我们一起玩！她才会一起玩
You're playing. She's playing.
好的,大家都准备好了吗?
OK, everybody ready?
吃吧,凯蒂蛋糕
Do it, Katie-cakes.
你也是,柔伊
You two, Zooey.
凯蒂,你拿到了这个
Katie, you got this.
这是什么？
What is it?
我把手伸进人生的药柜中
I put my hand in the medicine cabinet of life
然后拿出了六个药丸
and pulled out six pills.
人生充满变数,是一片混乱
Life is random. It's chaos.
混乱听起来像是数学一般
Chaos sounds like math.
把自己交到混乱手中
Put yourself in the hands of chaos.
-嗨！-耶！
-Hey! -Yay!
-干杯！-干杯！
-Cheers. -Cheers!
哇喔
Whoo!
-你干嘛？-我想我感觉到了
-What are you doing? -I think I feel it.
-这么快？-是啊
-Already? -Yeah.
看着光,你就可以分辨出来
Look at the light. You'll be able to tell.
（喔,天地万物的主,这只是一种报应）
?Oh, my Lord Here's a just reward
（把我的撒旦带来）
?Bring me my devil
（就在后面）
?Just behind
（那扇门,她说）
?The door, she said
（如闪电般沿着大街飞奔）
?And flies down the road like thunder
（终于到家,但你消逝地很快）
?Home at last but you're fading fast
（一个亲切的面孔）
?A friendly face
（一面冷冰冰的镜子）
?An icy glass
（唱着最后一首曲子）
?The last song sung
（而自♥由♥存在语调中）
?And freedom is in tone
（然后我们将飞越）
?And we'll go flying through
（宇宙王国）
?The kingdom of the universe
（但如果你先抵达）
?But if you get there first
（飞离吧）
?Fly away
（飞离吧）
?Fly away
（然后我们将飞越）
?And we'll go flying through
（宇宙王国）
?The kingdom of the universe
（但如果你先抵达）
?But if you get there first
（飞离吧）
?Fly away
（飞离吧…）
?Fly away... ?
妈,我们回到家了！
Mom, we're home!
你知道吗,我希望我真的是你妈妈
You know, I wish I were your mom.
然后我会揍你,
I'd kick your ass
因为在读研究生前居然没有先放个一年假
for not taking at least a year off before grad school.
你刚刚是不是说
Isn't what you just said
会因为我没有放个一年假而揍我
kind of kicking my ass for not taking a year off?
你这顽皮的家伙
Cheeky.
小偷！
Thieves!
真不可置信
Unbelievable.
喔,我的老天爷啊！
-Pew! Pew! -Oh, my God!
你是认真的吗？
Dude, seriously?
不好意思,大白天就醉而且爽翻了
Sorry. Day drunk. Also, ecstasies.
-不要开玩笑了 -你会喜欢的
-No kidding. -You love it.
什么！？
What?!
-我好兴奋！-不要胡说八道
-I am so excited! -No shit.
在一个月内我们即将在纽约购物
In a month we'll be shopping in New York City.
喔,我的天啊！
Oh, my God!
你的超级警♥察♥叔叔如何？他很性感吗？
What is your super cop uncle like? Is he super hot?
-他是老头 -年纪比较大
-He's old. -Older.
-语义上的 -怪咖的用词
-Semantics. -Nerd word.
-我可能会跟你的叔叔上♥床♥ -什么?
-I might fuck your uncle. -What?
矮额,好恶心
Ew. That's disgusting.
-你会成为我的侄女 -好恶！
-You'll be my niece. -Ewwww!
-噢,小侄女！-你的叔叔打来了
-Aww, little niece! -Your uncle called.
他听起来还好吗？
How did he sound?
-他有提起我吗？-你认真的？
-Did he ask for me? -Really?
你们明天会住在他家一晚
You're gonna spend the night at his house tomorrow,
然后他会载你们去搭巴士
and then he'll drive you up
隔天一大早前往农场
to catch the bus to the farm next morning.
-好吗？-超棒的
-Cool? -Super cool.
再问一次是哪种农场？
What kind of farm is it again?
-是个嬉皮农场 -不是嬉皮农场
-It's a hippie farm. -It's not a hippie farm.
是间CSA
It's a CSA.
社区协力农业,全有机的
Community supported agriculture. All organic.
CSA,不错
CSA. That's right.
好的,谢谢妈妈
OK. Thanks, Mom.
我真以你为荣
I am so proud of you.
在有机农场工作,我觉得这很棒
Working an organic farm, I just think that's great.
嗯…我之所以会这么做 只因为我们可以去纽约购物
Well, we're only doing it so we can go shopping in New York.
而他们说慈善已死
And they say philanthropy is dead.
什么是“弛疝”?
What's 'silsantropy'?
你是优等生,丝露妮
You were an honours student, Sloane.
-说话不要像脱衣舞娘 -嘿
-Don't talk like a stripper. -Hey!
脱衣舞娘也是人！
Strippers are people too!
六点吃晚餐
Dinner's at six.
我喜欢你妈 而且我希望她在古巴有一♥夜♥情♥
I love your mom and I hope she gets laid in Cuba.
-恶心 -我真的这么想！
-Ew. -I do!
对不起,但这对她会很好
Excuse me, it'd be good for her!
-随便你怎么说 -会的
-Whatever. -It would.
放松一点
Loosen up a little.
喔,我的天啊,她是我妈
Oh, my God, it's my mom!
嘿！你叔叔已经在路上了
Hey! Your uncle's on his way.
你们要搭计程车去机场吗？
You taking a cab to the airport?
-检查一下 -保险套？
-Check. -Condoms?
我是认真的,古巴保险套？当然不是
I'm serious. Cuban condoms? No way.
我的手♥机♥在古巴不能用
My cell phone is not gonna work in Cuba,
但当我到饭店后 我会打给你们
but I will call you as soon as I get to the hotel.
嗨！你会玩得很开心的！
Hey! You're gonna have fun!
啊,然后你要跟你的叔叔联络
Ahh! And you are gonna be in touch with your uncle.
-每天 -是的
-Every day. -Yes.
-我们会传简讯 -你们要打电♥话♥
-We'll text. -You'll call.
我们会打电♥话♥
We'll call.
嗯嗯,出发吧
Mm! Go.
好的
Alright.
玩得开心！
Have fun!
耶
Yeah.
天啊,你对我的手♥机♥做了什么事？
What the fuck did you do to my phone?
喂,不要假装 不是你自己选的手♥机♥铃♥声♥
Don't pretend you didn't choose your own ringtone.
嗨,妈妈
Hey, Mom.
你说什么？我几乎听不到你说什么
What? I can barely hear you.
是的,我们和杰森叔叔在一起
No, yeah. We're with Uncle Jason.
什么？我听不到…妈,你要分手
What? I can't hear...Mom,you're breaking up.
好的,等你回来后我们再聊
OK, I'll talk to you when you get back.
好,拜
OK, 'bye.
所以,杰,你是警♥察♥？
So, Jay, you're a cop?
是的…
Yeah, yeah.