Joey: Girls in my magazines are a lot nakeder.
我看的杂志中的女孩多数可都是裸体的。
Phoebe: Oh, hey Joey.
嘿，乔伊。
Joey: Em, hey.
嘿。
Phoebe: Listen, I...I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my stepdad's in prison.
我有点事要跟你商量，你还记得我继父在监狱里的事吧？
Joey: Yeah.
嗯。
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, uhm...listen he was supposed to get a weekend furlough, so he could come to the wedding tomorrow, but he just called and...uhm...well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard just couldn't wait till Monday.
嗯，这个周末他本来有个假期的，这样明天他就能来参加我的婚礼了。但是他刚刚打电话来说，嗯，他实在忍不到周一，就在操场上捅了一个送冰的家伙。
Joey: So he can't come?
这么说他来不了了吗？
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and...um, well I would just really love it if you would do it.
对。这么一来就没人挽着我走过红地毯了。所以，嗯...嗯，我很希望你能挽着我。
Joey: Seriously?
真的？
Phoebe: Yeah, you've...you know, sort of being like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
对。你知道，一直以来我都把你当作父亲一样。我是说，你一直以来都很照顾我，和我一起分享你的智慧...
Joey: I am pretty wisdomous.
我的确很有智慧。
Phoebe: So...what do you say?
所以...你觉得呢？
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored.
当然，这是我的荣幸，菲比。
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. Oh, I hope...I hope you know how much you mean to me.
哦，谢啦。我希望你能够了解，你对我来说有多么重要。
Joey: Listen, I hope...I hope that you know...I don't want you to see your father cry. Go to your room!
听着，我希望我希望你知道...我不想让你看到爸爸哭的样子，回自己的房间去！
Joey: Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this.
哦，不不不，让你爸付吧。
Phoebe: Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! Hello. Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't...I don't...it doesn't matter to me!
哦，是我的婚礼策划人。她快把我逼疯了。喂，嘿，行了行了，别这么大声嚷嚷！好，那就比目鱼好了。好吧，三文鱼也行，随便什么都好。我无所谓。
Monica: Well, it matters to me!
可我有所谓！
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
好吧，我不在乎，听你的好了。
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
你刚才挂我的电话？好了，听着，我要你在1800点整的时候准时到达婚礼彩排的现场。
Phoebe: Uh...uh. Ok. What time is that.
哦，好，那是几点钟啊？
Monica: You don't know military time?
你不知道军用时刻吗？
Phoebe: Well, I must've been in missile training the day they taught that.
哦，当时我在接受导弹训练，所以没学到。
Monica: Just subtract twelve.
减12就行了。
Phoebe: Ok, so...1800 minus twelve is...one thousand, seven hundred eighty eight...
噢，那1800减去12就是1788。
Monica: Six o'clock!
6点钟！
Phoebe: Ok.
噢！
Monica: Ok. Hold on. Yeah, Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. God, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
哦，等一下。好，我是盖勒不，我说过了，一定要在4点之前送到。再见。天哪，做一个冰雕有那么难么？
Joey: Harder than it looks.
比看起来难！
Phoebe: Wait, ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding.
冰雕？太隆重了吧。我跟你说过我只想要一个简单的婚礼就好。
Monica: Please...honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
放心好了，亲爱的。一切都包在我身上。为了你，我会尽量把这一天弄得特别一些。好了，我打算让竖琴师穿成白色。
Phoebe: What harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums.
竖琴师？不是我朋友马崔来敲钢鼓的吗？
Monica: Ooh...she backed out.
哦，她退出了。
Phoebe: She did? Why?
她退出了？为什么？
Monica: I made her. Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
我叫她这么做的。钢鼓和高雅的婚礼不太搭调，而且马崔的体味太浓了。
Phoebe: Hey! She will shower when tibet is free.
嘿！西藏♥独立之后她才会洗澡的。
Chandler: Hey!
嘿。
Phoebe: Hey!
嘿。
Chandler: You look great.
你看起来真美。
Chandler: I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
你也是。真高兴能有彩排，我打算在把这些食物吃下去之前演习一下。
Phoebe: What did we say was your one gift to us?
嘿，还记得你答应过要送给我们的礼物是什么吗？
Chandler: No stupid jokes. But, I thought that was for the actual wedding.
不开无聊的玩笑。我以为那只是在正式的婚礼上。
Phoebe: Rehearse it!
先演习一下吧。
Ross: Hi!
嗨。
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys. Ross: Oh, yeah, oh. I uh, I was...I was going for a hand shake.
真高兴你们都来了。 哦，我...我只打算握个手。
Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?
所以你把手顶在我的裤裆上？
Ross: That is why!
没错。
Mike: Yeah.
好了。
Phoebe: So, Rach.
瑞秋。
Rachel: Yeah.
昂。
Phoebe: Where is Emma?
艾玛呢？
Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix.
哦，莫妮卡让我把她送到我妈那里去了。显然，婴儿和婚礼可掺合不到一块儿。
Monica: Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time!
你还在为你那烦人的小家伙哭哭啼啼的？菲比，待会儿在致酒时你要说快点。记住，跟每个人都是20秒。你和这些家伙天天见面，没什么可说的。
Rachel: You must give me the name of your wedding planner, I wanna throw a really tense party.
你最好把婚礼策划人的名字给我，我真想把紧张的舞会抛开。
Joey: Hey, you're Mike's parents, right?
嘿，你们是麦克的父母吧？
Mike's mother: Yes, we are.
是的。
Joey: Our little ones are growing up fast, uh?
眼看着我们的小家伙们都长这么大了，是吧？
Mike's father: How's that?
你说什么？
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for 'em, but on the other hand it's hard to let go. Hey, how do you wanna divide up the holidays? I was thinking Thanksgiving at my place, Christmas at yours.
你知道…一方面替他们高兴，但另一方面心里又有点舍不得。你想怎么把假日给分开过呢？我想感恩节在我家，圣诞在你家。
Mike's father: Who in God's name are you?
你到底贵姓啊？
Joey: Hey, I'm not that fond of you either, ok buddy? But I'm just trying to be nice for the kids!
我也不喜欢你们，老兄，我是看在孩子们的面子上才跟你们客气的。
Chandler: You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
你知道我刚想起什么吗？咱俩还没有被分配在婚礼上的任务呢。
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they've asked us by now? When did they ask you to be a bridesmaid?
我觉得咱们会是伴郎。但是现在他们怎么还不跟咱俩说呢？你什么时候知道你是伴娘的？
Rachel: Uh...November?
呃... 11月？
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
我觉得情况有点不妙。
Rachel: Hey Pheebs.
嘿，菲比！
Phoebe: Sorry?
干吗？
Rachel: Uhm...you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
呃，你还没有告诉他们俩在婚礼上要做什么呢。
Phoebe: Uhm...well, they're not in the wedding.
哦，那个，他们不会出现在婚礼仪式上。
Ross: What?
什么？
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward. Oh, and I can leave!
呃，气氛有点尴尬。哦，这儿没我的事儿了。
Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys. But, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so...you know, you were, you were...if it helps you, you were next in line, you just, you just missed the cut.
真对不起你们，但麦克有一个哥哥，而且还有他在学校的死党所以...如果这么说能让你们好受一点，你们两个是头号候补，就差那么一点。
Ross: Oh, man!
哦，天哪。
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. I mean synchronized swimming. I mean...I mean the balance beam. Help me!
以前在选花样滑冰队员（女子运动项目） 的时候就是这样。我是说，水上芭蕾（还是女子运动项目）。我的意思是，平衡木（仍旧是女子运动项目）。帮帮忙。
Ross: Football.
橄榄球！
Chandler: Thank you.
谢了。
Monica: Oh, Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
噢，菲比，赶快吐出来。那里面有猪肉。
Phoebe: Oh! I thought the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
我记得那个砂锅应该是全素的。
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I, I sent you a fax about it!
啊，是的，但我做了点变动。我发传真告诉你了。
Phoebe: Well, I don't have a fax machine.
可是我根本没有传真机啊。
Monica: Huh! Well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
哈！那你可能会发现有一些意外。
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this way.
我简直不敢相信，只有我们俩不会出现在仪式上。
Chandler: I know, I hate being left out of things.
是啊，我讨厌被冷落。
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it.
要知道这是一个婚礼！如果缺了我感觉会很奇怪的。
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
嘿，你们俩怎么样？
Chandler: Fine. We're just sitting here. Alone. Doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow.
还好啦。坐在这，就我们俩，无所事事。我们在为明天做彩排呢。
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I...I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
嘿，关于明天，我有个问题问你们。我刚知道我的一个伴郎出了点急事，所以不能来了。
Chandler: What happened?
出什么事了？
Ross: Who cares, AND?
管那么多干嘛！所以...？
Mike:...and I was wondering if, you know, maybe one of you guys...
所以我在想，也许你们两个人中的一个能...
Ross: I'll do it!
我来替他！
Chandler: M...Me, me, me!
不，我！我！
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm...there's only room for one.
你们两个都想做？呃，只有一个名额。
Chandler: Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus.
选我！我适合穿燕尾服，而且我这模样也不会抢你的镜头。
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean, watch!
不，麦克，不。选我！我的意思是，瞧！
Mike: Uh, you know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose.
呃，我不太习惯来做这种决定。菲比更了解你们，我会让她来选。
Ross: Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman.
嗯，如果是菲比来选的话，你现在就可以跟麦克的新伴郎打招呼了。
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror...as he is me!
哦，我会的。但我要先找一面镜子。因为这个人就是我。
Ross: Please, you're going down!
省省吧，你逊死了。
Chandler: You are going downer!
你更逊。
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
他们在选花样滑冰队员的时候就是这么说你的？
Chandler: I wouldn't know, I didn't make it!
我不知道，我没被选上。
Joey: So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow, right?
明天我会扮演菲比的继父，你知道吧？
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
知道。很感谢你能这么做。
Joey: Oh, hey, my pleasure. So what're your intentions with my Phoebe?
哦，嘿，这是我的荣幸。那好，你对我的菲比有什么企图？
Mike: I intend to marry her.
我“企图”跟她结婚。
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre...Now, I...I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
哦，自作聪明的人。照我的理解，你似乎打算靠弹钢琴来养活老婆。这种工作好像不太稳定。
Mike: No more so than acting.
哦，跟演戏比起来还算好啦。
Joey: Strike two!
第二次攻击。
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
你说得对。我可能需要她来养活。嘿，除非我们搬去跟你一起住，爸爸。
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
第三次攻击。你只有最后一次机会了，麦克。
Mike's mother: Michael, can I see you for a moment?
麦克，我能和你聊聊吗？
Mike: Yeah, sure.
可以，当然。
Mike's mother: This was...
那真是...
Mike's father: Weird.
太怪了。
Rachel: Hi.
嗨。
Joey: Hi.
嘿。
Rachel: What's with the face?
脸色怎么这么差？
Joey: That Mike has no respect. I'm not sure about him. Wait that's not him, there he is.
那个麦克不尊重人。我不知道他怎么这样。等下，那不是他，他在这。
Ross: So, what...what did you decide?
怎么样？你决定了没有？
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
我决定...要去厕所。
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to choose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
你要在我们两个人里选一个来参加仪式。有个伴郎来不了了。
Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!
哦，不。你们两个叫我怎么选啊。你们对我来说同样重要。
Chandler: Sure, just not enough to put us in the original wedding party.
的确重要，差一点就能参加原定的婚礼了。
Ross: Such bitterness. Best to keep that attitude in the seats.
真差劲。最好把这态度留到婚礼。
Chandler: Come on, Pheebs. We both really wanna do this, and it's up to you.
来吧，菲比。我们都想参加，而且由你来决定。
Phoebe: But I don't wanna choose. It's...Oh...Okay, wait. Rach? Listen, I have a very special bridesmaid task for you to do.
我没法选。这太...哦，等一下。瑞秋！呃，我需要你作为伴娘替我选样东西。
Rachel: Goody, what is it!
太棒了！选什么？
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
嗯，现在伴郎有一个空缺。你需要在罗斯和钱德中间选一个 所以...祝你好运。
Rachel: What, what, wait, no, I don't, I don't, I don't wanna do that.
什么，什么？不，不要，我不想选这个。
Phoebe: All right, I guess I have to find a new bridesmaid.
好吧，我想我只好去另找一个新的伴娘了。
Ross: I'll do it!
我来！
Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. Time for your toast.
好，现在是2100点。到你敬酒的时间了。
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
我能不能先去一下洗手间？
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! Now, in regard to the toast, ok, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Ok. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
你的小便时间是2030点。要专时专用，麦克。关于致酒词，要尽量简短一些。婚礼彩排的时候，没有什么比又臭又长的致酒词更烦人了。你要做的就是：上场，干活，然后走人。
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
你跟钱德也这么说？
Monica: It's uh 2101 and I am not amused. Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say.
现在已经2101点了，而且我一点也不觉得好笑。好吧新郎和新娘要说几句。
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start...Uh, yeah, my, my friend Joey and I, uh. decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I...oh I...hum...I...I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because...it's not, not important...she is in rehab.Anyway, so, ok, yeah, so, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and but despite, you know...it got...it got good.Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
嗨，大家好很高兴各位今晚能够光临。明天就是正式的婚礼了。大家可能还不知道，我和麦克的开始一点也不精彩。呃，是这样的。当时乔伊和我决定相互替对方介绍朋友。所以呢，我，我...我... 我考虑把我的朋友玛丽埃伦介绍给他。玛丽埃伦今晚没有来，因为她这不重要，她正在戒毒。总之呢，乔伊说他要介绍他的朋友麦克给我认识，但他并没有朋友叫麦克，所以就把我的麦克带去了，然后...尽管如此... 呃，结果呢，结果还不错。我想用一点时间来缅怀我的母亲。她今晚不能出席。
Monica: Oh, God.
哦，天哪。
Phoebe: And, and, moment's over! So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm...Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that...to take that, so...Oh, well, ok, uhm, I.Ok, ok, I.ok,.... Monica I can't do it like this! This is MY wedding! Ok, I don't want, I don't want this or this or this Ok? I just wanted a simple wedding! Where my fiancé can go to the bathroom anytime he wants!You know what? You're done.
呃，缅怀时间结束。好了，呃...哦，这个就不说了，然后...我可以跳过这里，这个很有意思哦但首先你得知道...哦，好吧，我...我...好了，莫妮卡，我再也受不了了！这是我的婚礼！知道吗？我不需要这样或者这样，或者这样，好吗？我要的只是一个简单的婚礼我要我的未婚夫能够随心所欲地上厕所！你知道吗，你完了。
Monica: What?
什么？
Phoebe: You're fired! Cheers.
你被炒了！干杯！
Phoebe: Hey!
嘿！
Rachel: Happy wedding day!
新婚快乐！
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
我的新婚也祝你快乐。
Rachel: Ok no, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and makeup going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
乔伊，听着，从现在开始这里是伴娘的地盘，好吗？我们要在卫生间里面做头发，然后...哦，我要把冰箱里的东西挪一下。给胸花腾出地方。
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was gonna be corsages!
噢，真是的！早知道有胸花我就不吃早饭了。
Monica: Hi. Um, um, about last night...I know you are under a lot of stress and...oh, even though the things you said were a little hurtful to me...you know, as someone who's never been fired before.
嗨，关于昨晚，我知道你压力很大，所以...尽管你说的话让我有点伤心作为一个从未被解雇的人...
Rachel: What about in high school when that yogurt store let you go for sampling all the toppings?
高中时是什么感觉...当卖酸奶的小店让你做样品招牌？
Monica: Everyone who worked there did that.
大伙都这么做。
Rachel: Yeah but did everybody owe three grand at the end of the summer?
对啊！但是不是每个人都在暑假结束时赚了3000块。
Monica: My point is: Uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
我的意思是...好吧，我愿意复职。
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think, I think you and I will do much better if you're just...you know here as a bridesmaid.
哦，还是算了吧。我觉得如果你只做伴娘的话情况会好得多。
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here, I give you the headset. Well, I don't really wanna give you the headset.Well I guess if you're taking over, then you should probably return these messages.
哦，既然你这么说好吧如果你真这么想的话，好吧给你这个耳机。我还是不太想给你这个耳机。还有就是，如果你要接手的话，你大概需要回复这些信息。
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
哇，真不少啊。
Monica: Uh...huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
我相信你能处理它们。我是说，尽管我曾经获得过组织技能的证书，但是呢，我相信你肯定没问题。
Phoebe: You won awards?
你获得过证书？
Monica: Mm...mh. I printed them out on my computer.
是我用自己的电脑打印出来的。
Ross: Hey!
嘿。
Monica: Hi.
嗨。
Ross: Uh, where's Rach?
瑞秋呢？
Monica: She's in her room, why?
她在自己的房间，有事吗？
Ross: Oh I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump!
我要跟她谈谈关于那个伴郎的问题，我可不想像个傻子一样坐在那儿，看着钱德在婚礼上露脸。
Monica: This wedding isn't about you.
这可不是你的婚礼。
Ross: It's not? Then who's it about?
不是吗？那是谁的啊？
Monica: Well, it used to be about me, but now I have no idea.
好吧，这婚礼曾经和我有关，但现在我也不知道了。
Ross: My God, you're breathtaking.
啊，天哪，你简直美得令人窒息。
Rachel: What'd you want?
你想干嘛？
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
你还没决定伴郎的人选吧？
Rachel: Oh, Ross, come on, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
哦，罗斯，求你了。我已经很为难了，你就别再添乱了。
Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me!
我没有啊。我是在让事情简单化，选我！
Rachel: Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
可是，钱德也说这个机会对他十分重要。
Ross: I'm sorry, did you and Chandler go out? Do you and Chandler have a huge history, huh? Do you and Chandler have-have a child together?
抱歉，你和钱德出去过吗？你和钱德曾经有过一大段历史吗？你和钱德有孩子吗？
Rachel: If I said yes, that would totally freak you out, wouldn't it?
如果我说是，就会让你发疯，是不是？
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
听着听着无论你选谁，你要知道，你选的这个人，将要跟你一起走过红地毯。我可以保证，到时候我一个字也不会说，但如果你选钱德的话，他肯定会一直在你耳朵旁边嘀咕他那些无聊的玩笑。
Rachel: Oh, you are the lesser of two evils!
哦...两个恶魔里你确实好一点...
Ross: YES!
没错。
Rachel: Oh. Please, don't say anything to Chandler until I talk to him.
先别跟钱德说，我来和他说。
Ross: You got it.
明白了。
Rachel: Ok. I cannot believe you played the Emma card.
好，真不相信你居然拿艾玛来说事。
Ross: Oh please, I was prepared to offer you my body.
行了！我把自己的身体都献给你了。
Rachel: Oh my God! And I didn't hold out.
喔天啊！我竟然没阻止你。
Ross: You know, normally, that would hurt my feelings but today, I'm a groomsman!
你知道，那通常都会伤我的感情...但是今天，我是伴郎。
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
塞文，我不知道你在说什么。花又有什么问题了？Lorkins？Lorkins是什么见鬼的玩意？
Monica: I know.
我知道。
Mike: Hey.
嘿。
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
嘿，麦克，如果你是瑞典人你用lorkins来代表一种花，会是什么花呢？
Mike: Orchids?
兰花(Orchids)？
Phoebe: Right there! That's why I'm marrying you!
真棒，我就是因为这个才嫁给你的。
Joey: Hello Michael.
你好，麦克尔（麦克的全名）.
Mike: Joseph.
乔瑟夫（乔伊的全名）.
Joey: May I have a word with you, please? You wanna step it up there?
我能跟你说两句吗？你想站那里说吗？
Mike: This is...this's great.
这里真是...棒极了。
Joey: Have a seat. Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family...instead, you disrespected me...I cannot allow this.
坐。昨天晚上，我试着欢迎你进入我们的家族。然而，你对我很不尊重，我不能容忍这一点。
Mike: Are you rehearsing for some really bad Mafia movie?
你是在排练什么劣制黑手党电影吗？
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: This is a time it's personal."
还敢顶嘴。没错，我也许是从我没有成功的《家族荣誉2》的试镜剧本中挑了两句。
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what...what'd you want?
乔伊，我今天比较忙，你到底想要干嘛？
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very, very important to me, okay? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
我想要你认真一点。菲比对我来说非常非常的重要，知道吗？我要你保证，你会好好照顾她。
Mike: Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
乔，我爱菲比。在我的生命中没有什么比她更重要。我宁死也不会让她受到任何伤害。这才是我想听的。
Joey: That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok? And now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
因为我当她是家里人，知道吗？现在你也要成为家里的一份子了。在世界上没有什么事比家庭更重要。
Mike: That must've been one lousy movie.
那个电影可真是烂得可以。
Joey: That was ME!
不是台词，是我说的！
Rachel: Hi.
嘿。
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? Hey, if you pick Ross, you know he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
嘿，我能跟你商量一下伴郎的事吗？如果你选罗斯，你知道的，你们俩只能安安静静地走过红地毯。但如果你选我的话你可就有笑话听了。
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
即便如此，我想我还是选罗斯。
Chandler: Yeah yeah, I figured you might. 'Cause of the history, and you used to love him...you guys have a baby.
没错，我觉得你可能...因为过去，而且你曾经爱过他...而且还生了个孩子。
Rachel: Well thank you for respecting my decision.
那么就谢谢你尊重我的决定了。
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me.
我来告诉你为什么你要选我。
Rachel: Ok.
好。
Chandler: See...when I was a kid, you know, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel...insecure.You know, I was always picked last in gym. You know. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. It's just so humiliating.I mean, you know what it feels like to be left out of things right?
当我还是个孩子的时候，无论做什么，我总是被冷落的一个。你要知道，这种经历总是让我缺乏安全感。在运动场上我永远都是被人家挑剩下的那个，甚至落后于那个交换学生，连棒球规则也不懂的胖子。那个家伙一打着球，撂下球棒就朝三垒上跑。真是太耻辱了。我是说，你应该知道被排在万事之外的感觉，对吧？
Rachel: No.
不。
Chandler: No.
不。
Chandler: Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
总之，如果我成为唯一一个不能参加婚礼的人，以前那些凄惨的回忆就会再次浮现在眼前。
Rachel: All right fine, I pick you.
好吧，我选你。
Chandler: Y-Y-Yes! Make "groom" for Chandler.
太棒了！终于有钱德的房间了。(“伴郎”与“房间”谐音)
Rachel: Oh my...
噢，我的天哪！
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. Because your way is stupid! Alright I, I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. Hello?
不，要照我说的做。因为你的办法太笨了。好了，有电话正打进来，我要挂了，牧师。喂。
Joey: I'm glad we had this little talk.
这次小小的谈话还算愉快。
Mike: Yes. Yeah. And thanks for all the wedding night advice. That didn't make me uncomfortable at all! Alright, so I'll see everybody tonight?
是啊，没错。对了，谢谢你关于新婚之夜的那些建议。我一点都不觉得尴尬。好了，就这样吧。大家晚上见喽。
Phoebe: Ok.
好。
Monica: Bye.
再见。
Mike: Uh, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
呃，你们知道在走廊里有个大号的冰雕么？
Phoebe: Oh my God, what's it doing here?
哦天哪，为什么会在这儿的？
Monica: Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. Uh! What a pickle.
呃，我猜是送货的家伙把投递地址和付款人地址搞混了。哦，真是个蠢货！
Phoebe: My God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me?
我的天哪！什么事都是一团糟。为什么这些事情会发生在我身上？
Joey: How bad do you wanna stick your tongue on that?
你们想不想用舌头去舔舔它？
Chandler: How's it going?
你怎么样？
Ross: Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
我很好啊。我来要点咖啡喝，这样我能在婚礼上清醒一点。
Chandler: That's what I was doing too.
我也是这么打算的。
Ross: Well, you have fun tonight.
那好，今晚玩得高兴点。
Chandler: You too.
你也是。
Ross: Oh, I will.
哦，我会的。
Chandler: Me too.
我也会的。
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why're you?
慢着，我知道自己为什么这么得意，但你为什么也这样？
Chandler: I'm not supposed to tell you.
我不能告诉你。
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
我也不能告诉你。
Chandler: Did Rachel say you could be in the wedding?
瑞秋说过你可以参加婚礼了吗？
Ross: Yes!
没错。
Chandler: She told me that too!
她也那么告诉我的。
Ross: I don't believe this, I played the Emma card!
真不能相信，我打着艾玛的旗号说事。
Chandler: I looked into my soul!
我审视了自己的灵魂。
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding?
你同时答应我们两个人参加仪式？
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you weren't supposed to tell each other!
我的解释是，你们不应该告诉对方的！
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again.
瑞秋，只有一个人可以参加婚礼仪式。你必须要选一个。你和我，我们又能在一起了。
Chandler: Rach, Rach, knock-knock.
瑞秋，瑞秋，咚，咚敲门声。
Rachel: Who's there?
是谁啊？
Chandler: I'll tell you at the wedding.
在婚礼上我再告诉你。
Rachel: Uh.
额。
Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf.
嘿，我忘拿围巾了。
Rachel: What...You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
我做不来，我真的不知道应该选谁。
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I...I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
哦，你还没选好呢。我倒是有个好主意。我觉得如果由我们家的狗恰皮来担任伴郎的话，肯定很有意思。
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
什么，一只狗？不，让瑞秋来选。
Rachel: Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
真是难以抉择啊。看起来我只有选那只狗了。
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is th...that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you freaking kidding me?
等一下，你是说，厨师已经到汉密尔顿俱乐部了，但食物还没有送到？饮料和酒水已经送到了，但男招待还没有到？你... 他妈的开什么玩笑！？
Monica: How's it going?
怎么样了？
Phoebe: Help me.
帮帮我...
Monica: What?
什么？
Phoebe: I want you to be crazy bitch again.
我想让你做回疯婆子。
Monica: Really?
真的？
Phoebe: Please?
求你了。
Monica: You really want me to come back?
你真想让我回来？
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
嗯，胜过我想结婚。
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! Oh God, we've missed you soo much! Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
好，伙计们，我们回来了。哦天哪，我可想死你了。好了，去做你的头发吧。这儿一切交给我好了。
Joey: Hey, what're you guys gonna do?
嘿，你们打算怎么办？
Phoebe: About what?
什么怎么办？
Joey: The blizzard.
暴风雪啊。
Phoebe: What?
什么？
Joey: I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels.
我刚看电视说这是20年来最大的一场暴风雪。所有的桥和隧道都关闭了。
Monica: But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey!
可是乐队和摄像师还要从新泽西赶过来呢！
Joey: I don't think they are.
看来他们够呛。
Ross: Haha! Looks like you're not gonna be in the wedding either. So sorry, Pheebs.
哈哈，看起来你恐怕也参加不了仪式了吧。真遗憾啊，菲比。
Monica: Well, the club lost its power.
俱乐部停电了。
Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did.
是啊，听新闻说，市里大部分地区都停电了。
Rachel: Since when do you watch the news?
你从什么时候开始看起新闻来了？
Joey: Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl.
呃，告诉你好了，从那个靓女开始主持天气预报的时候。
Ross: I can't believe you guys aren't gonna be able to get married today.
什么？
Phoebe: I know.
真不敢相信，你们两个今天的婚礼办不成了。 是啊。
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
哇，你们看哪，外面真的好美。你不是总想在户外举行婚礼吗？你们俩干嘛不干脆在街上结婚呢？
Phoebe: What?
什么？
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
看哪，雪几乎已经停了。我想，没有比这更加浪漫的布景了。这不正是你一直想要的简单的婚礼吗？
Phoebe: What do you think?
你认为呢？
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
我只想今天就跟你结婚。
Phoebe: Me too! Monica, do you think we could do it?
我也是。莫妮卡，你觉得这样可行吗？
Monica: Affirmative!
赞成。
Monica: Okay, let's get these chairs out here! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights.
好！大家把椅子都搬出来。甘瑟，把圣诞用的灯饰都打亮。
Monica: Okay, who left the ice sculpture on the steam grate?
喂！是哪个家伙把冰雕放在热水井旁边的？
Mike: Michael. Hey, you made it. Great. Chappy!
麦克。嘿，你们来了。太棒了。恰皮！
Mike's dad: There you go.
对啊。
Mike: Hi. Hi.
嗨。嗨。
Mike: Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't what you approve of...
妈妈，我知道在大街上结婚这种事肯定不合你的脾气...
Mike's mom: No...It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
不，这挺有趣儿的，又是灯又是雪的。我怎么看都看不够。
Mike's dad: I crushed a pill and put it in her drink. Come on, sweetheart.
我刚才在她的饮料里下了点药。来吧，亲爱的。
Mike: You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
你们看，恰皮太弱小了恐怕难以应付积雪。到时候需要有人抱着它。
Chandler: So, technically, would this person be in the wedding?
那么，这个人也算参加了婚礼仪式吧？
Mike: I guess.
我想是吧。
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
我来。
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello...I mean...Aren't you, aren't you scared of dogs?
等等，钱德，你不是害怕狗吗？
Chandler: I'm not scared. I'll just take little Chappy and...He can sense my fear. My throat is exposed.
谁说我害怕。我只要抱着小恰皮，然后...它知道我害怕它！我的嗓子都翻出来了！
Ross: Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa. He stinks!
哦，那么我猜出现在婚礼上的人就是我喽。哈哈！好臭。
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Ok we got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
一级警报！重复，一级警报，这不是演习！我们碰到难题了，牧师刚才打电话来说，他被大雪困住，赶不过来了。
Mike: Oh, no! Joey: Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
哦，不是吧。 嘿，不用担心。我在你们结婚那会儿获得的牧师资格到现在还有效。
Monica: Really?
真的？
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Uhh...uh.
是啊。你认为我会放弃牧师资格和免♥费坐地铁吗？嘿。
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
部长坐地铁也不能免票的。
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but...yeah we do.
我仔细研究过圣经的，没错，我们不用买票。
Monica: Ok, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
如果让乔伊来主持婚礼的话 那我们还需要有个人来挽着菲比。
Chandler: I'll do it.
我来！
Ross: I'll...
我...
Chandler: Na ha ha...Ne he he...Ah ah...
啊哈哈...
Monica: Ok, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me.
好，麦克和乔伊，各就各位。钱德，跟我来。
Monica: Ok, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away.
乔伊负责主持婚礼，你由钱德负责。
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Hi new dad.
哦，好。嗨，新爸爸。
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
那么，你准备好了么？
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh. Oh my God! This is really happening.
嗯哼，嗯哼。哦，天哪，这一切都是真的。
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey.
哦，菲比，我真替你高兴，亲爱的。
Phoebe: Oh, thank you.
谢谢。
Monica: I love you. Oh, wait, wait, wait! No...No hugs. The dresses...Oh what the hell. Oh, come on.
我爱你。等等，不要抱，当心礼服！管它的。 来吧！
Phoebe: I love you guys.
我爱你们，亲爱的。
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
我爱你。
Monica: Ok. It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. Let's get this bad boy on the road.
好了，现在倒计时结束。各小组听我的指令行事。我们开始吧！
Chandler: Is it ok that I want you to wear that headset in bed tonight?
我想让你今晚戴着这副耳机上床，你不反对吧？
Monica: I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
呃，根据计划，我的裸体时间被安排在2300。
Chandler: Oh yeah!
噢耶。
Monica: Ok Marjorie, hit it.
好了，马崔，开始敲吧。
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could've showered.
天哪，罗斯，你就不能先洗个澡吗。
Ross: It's the dog.
是狗身上的味！
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why're you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! Oh, that's me.
伴郎，伴郎，为什么只有你一个人站在这儿？伴娘呢？我们遇到情况了，伴娘失踪了。噢，是我自己。
Chandler: Ready?
准备好了么？
Phoebe: Ok.
好了。
Chandler: Ok.
好了。
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh no. Wait.
哦，等一下，哦，等等。
Chandler: Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold?
哇，你不觉得冷吗？
Phoebe: I don't care. I'll...I'll be my something blue.
我不在乎。我要做自己的“蓝色”物品（象征新娘纯洁）。
Chandler: You look beautiful.
你看起来美极了。
Phoebe: Thank you.
谢谢。
Mike: My God! Aren't you freezing?
天哪，你不冷吗？
Phoebe: Na-ah.
不。
Joey: Friends, family, dog...Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event.The cold has now spread to my special place...so I'm gonna do the short version of this.Phoebe and Mike, are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here...when I wish them a lifetime of happiness.And may they have many children...who will one day avenge their family's honor. How could I not get that part? Stupid Ralph Macchio.Right. Ok. Uh, uh, who has the rings?
朋友们，家人们，狗，感谢你们能够到场来见证这一场天赐的姻缘。冷空气已经蔓延到我“那里”了，所以我会长话短说。菲比和麦克是完美的一对儿。我相信在场的每一个人都会和我一样祝愿他们一生幸福。愿他们有很多孩子...能够为家族的荣誉而报仇。我怎么没得到那部分台词？愚蠢的拉尔夫·麦奇奥（《家族荣誉》主演）。好，戒指呢？
Joey: Ok.
好的。
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a...a regular family like everybody else, and...and I always knew that something was missing.But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need...You are my family.
在我成长的过程中，我不曾拥有真正的父爱和母爱，或者和别人一样拥有一个正常的家庭，我总是觉得自己缺少了些什么。然而现在，我站在这里，我知道自己已经得到了自己所需要的一切，你就是我的家人。
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird.Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever.
菲比，你是这么的美丽这么的善良，这么的大方。古怪得这么神奇。和你在一起的每一天都像是一次探险。我简直不敢相信自己是如此地幸运。我迫不急待地想要和你分享自己的生命，直到永远。
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot...and uhm...I love you...and you have nice eyes.
哦等一下，我忘了说我爱你。还有，你的眼睛很漂亮。
Mike: I love you too.
我也爱你。
Ross: Uh Joey?
乔伊。
Joey: Yeah?
怎么了。
Ross: Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down.
恰皮的心脏越跳越慢了。
Joey: Oh, ok. Uh uh, Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?
菲比你愿意这个男人成为你的丈夫吗？
Phoebe: I do.
我愿意。
Joey: Ok uh, Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
麦克，你愿意这个女人成为你的妻子吗？
Mike: I do.
我愿意。
Joey: I now pronounce you...husband, and wife.
我现在正式宣布你们结为夫妻。
Phoebe: I got married! Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing.
我结婚了！谁递给我件衣服？我快要冻僵了。
Chandler: That really was an incredible wedding.
真是场让人难以置信的婚礼。
Joey: It was, yeah. I kinda don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
是啊，的确。我真不想让它就那么结束。嘿…你想来喝一杯吗，还有一些胸花可以吃。
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
我很想去，但现在已经2300了，我现在要去经历一次有史以来最有组织的性♥爱。
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, whatever happened to about Ross?
嘿，罗斯呢？
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.
我不知道。大概和那个刚才聊天的辣妹搞在一起了吧。
Ross: Come on, Chappy! Do your business! Make! Make! I did not sign on for this.
快点，恰皮，拜托你快点解决了吧，拉啊！拉啊！我来参加婚礼可不是为了这个。