Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
真是太奇怪了，乔伊昨晚最后怎么会去亲查莉呢？我还以为最后会是你去亲查莉。
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But surprise!
嘿，我也这么以为啊！但是……惊喜！
Chandler: I missed most of the party.
我错过大部分的派对。
Chandler: Charlie's a girl, right?
查莉是女生，对吧？
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor in my department that I did not kiss.
是的，她是刚来我系而我没亲到的那个新教授。
Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, God!
我不知道为什么乔伊要亲她！有这么多女生在派对上，天啊！
Ross: Why do you care so much?
你为什么这么在乎呢？
Monica: Yes, Rachel, why do you care so much?
是啊，瑞秋，你为什么这么在乎呢？
Rachel: Be-cause Ross is the father of my child!
因为罗斯是我孩子的父亲！
Rachel: You know ... and I ... want him to hook up with lots of women!
你知道的，而我希望他可以有机会跟很多女人交往！
Rachel: Look, I just, All I'm saying is, I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
我的意思是说，我不认为乔伊跟查莉有任何相同之处。
Ross: I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils.
我不知道，他们似乎对彼此的扁桃腺有相同的兴趣。
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine, if they had kids and if-if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism ... those nerds will get laaaaaid!
哇，乔伊跟大学教授，你们能想像万一他们有小孩吗？如果小孩子遗传到她的智慧……还有乔伊的原始性吸引力……书呆子可以歇歇了！
Rachel: All right, so ... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean…
好了，罗斯你对这一切都没关系吗？我是说……
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it.
又没有什么大不了的，我才刚认识她 我没事的。
Ross: Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was! I'm gonna get some more coffee.
天啊，我忘了她有多辣了！我要去多倒些咖啡。
Joey: Hey!
嘿！
All: Hi!
嘿！
Charlie: Oh you know, I'll come with you.
喔，我跟你去。
Ross: Ok.
好的。
Chandler: So, a professor, uh?
是教授吗？
Joey: Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart!
是啊，她真酷，而且很聪明！
Joey: Her mind is totally acrimonious.
她的内心是完全的“尖酸刻薄”。
Joey: That's not how she used it.
她好像不是那样用那个词的。
Charlie: I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties.
我觉得我应该向你解释……我通常不会在派对上乱亲男生的。
Charlie: I'm ... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
我……嗯，我有点难为情。我希望你不会因此而瞧不起我。
Ross: No, think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you-you saw someone you liked and you kissed them.
不，瞧不起你？我不会瞧不起你的。我是说，你看到喜欢的人，然后你亲了他。
Ross: I mean, those people who-who like someone and-and don't kiss them ... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
那些有喜欢的人，却又不亲他们的人……那些人是笨蛋，我恨死那些人了。
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself.
事实上，我自己也是很惊讶。
Charlie: I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral ...
我是说，乔伊跟我以前交往的人太不同了。他们全都是教授、高知识份子，大部分是古生物学家，你知道的，非常有理智……
Ross: Yeah, I know the type.
是的，我知道那一类型的人。
Joey: Hey, if you wanna you know grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
如果你想要在上班前先吃点东西，我们最好赶快“尖酸刻薄”。不对吗？意思很接近吧？
Phoebe: Hey!
嘿！
Rachel: Hi!
嗨！
Monica: Hey!
嘿！
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got.
嘿，你们瞧瞧我买了什么。
Rachel: Oh, wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
哇！我喜欢这双鞋！你去哪买的？
Phoebe: I bought them off eBay!
我从eBay网站上买的！
Rachel: They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
这本来属于去世的仙妮亚·唐恩（加拿大流行乐天后）的。
Rachel: Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!
菲比，仙妮亚·唐恩还活着！
Phoebe: Oh, then I overpaid.
喔，那我多付钱了。
Monica: Hey, what's this?
嘿，这是什么？
Rachel: Oh, it's a gift certificate to this new Spa in SoHo.
喔，那是苏活区一间新开水疗中心的礼券。
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
你不能给菲比看到，她痛恨这些大型连锁按♥摩中心的。
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of. I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting.
什么？我连按♥摩都不行吗？有很多事情她都不准我们做。我不能吃小牛肉，我不能穿皮草，我不能去打猎。
Monica: Do you wanna go hunting?
你想要去打猎吗？
Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!
至少我要有选择的权利！
Phoebe: What's up? Hey, Rachel!
那是什么？嘿，瑞秋？
Rachel: Ahh!
啊哈！
Phoebe: No, you can't go there!
不，你不能去！
Phoebe: You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
你知道我对这些按♥摩中心的观感！它们害得像我这样的人失业！
Monica: And she wants to go hunting, too!
她也想去打猎喔！
Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks!
菲比，别这样，我不想浪费掉它！这就好像是白白丢掉一百块！
Phoebe: Ok, this is not about the money, ok?
好了，这跟钱无关，好吗？
Phoebe: It's-it's about, it's about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us ... the-the hollow shells.
这跟大企业贪婪毁灭我们的心灵……然后让我们只剩下空空的躯体。
Rachel: I don't care about any of that!
我根本不在乎那些！
Phoebe: Well, do you care about friendship?
那你在乎我们的友谊吗？
Rachel: Oh!
哦呜！
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
我对这个真的很反感，请不要用这张礼券，我以朋友的身分要求你。
Rachel: Oh, not as a friend, Phoebe! Fine, I won't use it!
喔，不要以朋友的身分，菲比！好啦，我不用就是了！
Phoebe: Promise?
保证吗？
Rachel: I promise.
我保证。
Phoebe: Thank you.
谢谢。
Rachel: But I am going hunting!
不过我会去打猎的！
Monica: Hey honey! I missed you today!
嗨，亲爱的，我今天好想你！
Chandler: Oh, yeah?
喔，是吗？
Monica: Yeah. Hey. What'd you wanna do tonight?
是啊。你今晚想要做什么呢？
Chandler: Oh, well uh, maybe we could ...
或许我们可以……
Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience!
好，想用把东西弄乱来让我性奋吗？多了解一下你的对象！
Monica: Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.
况且，明天我们要做不孕症的检查 在那之前，你得要把你的蝌蚪放在池塘里。
Chandler: We really need to take those tests? You know, I don't like the words they use in those places, you know? They're so clinical. This is a pee-pee, that's a hoo-hoo.
我们一定要做那些检查吗？我不喜欢他们用的那些字眼，你知道吗？太医学化了。这是小弟弟，那是小妹妹。
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year.
亲爱的，我们为了要怀孕已经试了一年了，
Monica:Just think it's a good idea to find out if everything's okay. Just a few routine tests.
只是觉得检查一切是否正常是件好事。只是几样例行的检查。
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
但是我不想要弄在一个杯子里！
Monica: What is the big deal?
有什么大不了的呢？
Chandler: It's weird! In a doctor's office?
很怪！在诊所里？
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
不能在诊所做……但是在塔可钟快餐后面的停车场就可以吗？
Chandler: I cannot believe Ross told you that! And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
我不敢相信罗斯告诉了你！但是我要澄清的是，那是在温蒂汉堡！
Monica: Oh, ok, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea!
听着，我也不想做那些检查，但是我真的认为这是个好主意！
Chandler: Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory!
我想在医院做总不会比……在去巧克力工厂的路上做还糟糕吧？
Monica: Oh!
喔！
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Rachel talks too!
是的！瑞秋也是大嘴巴！
Joey: Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
谁说酒一定要比牛奶贵呢？
Joey: Heeey!
嘿！
Charlie: Hi!
嗨！
Joey: Come on in, how are ya?
请进，你好吗？
Charlie: I'm good!
我很好！
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
你要喝一杯吗？
Charlie: Please, I have been crazed all day!
好的，我整天都忙疯了！
Charlie: I had a meeting with the dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the foreword for a friend's book ...
我跟系主任开了会，我暑期班的课程表又要交……然后我要帮一个朋友写新书的序……
Joey: Yeah, I had a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go ohhhh!
我今天工作也很忙，今天我要开门然后出去！
Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here.
所以我很兴奋能够来到这里。
Charlie: I mean I can't wait to start exploring the city!
我等不及要发掘这个城市了！
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide ...
如果你需要导游……
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
你是说真的吗？一定会很好玩！
Joey: Oh, yeah, definitely, definitely ok. Uh, what do you wanna see first?
喔，是一定的，好了，你想先去哪里呢？
Charlie: Oh, well, we can go see the Kronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall.
我们可以去国家音乐厅听克诺斯四重奏。
Joey: Ok!
好的！
Charlie: And, oh, there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
在市立图书馆有惠特曼书信的展览。
Joey: I know, yeah!
我知道！
Charlie: Ahh. Uhm, but first, I have to see the MET!
但是，我想先去看看大都会博物馆！
Joey: Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees.
好的，让我先打断一下。大都会队逊毙了，好吗？你会比较喜欢洋基队的。
Charlie: No, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular!
不，不是大都会队，是大都会，是单数！
Joey: Which one, they all suck!
哪一队？反正他们全部都很逊！
Charlie: The museum!
博物馆！
Joey: I don't think so.
我可不认为这一队会好到哪里去。
Rachel: Hi there!
嗨！
Receptionist: Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa. How may I help you?
嗨，欢迎光临薰衣草芳香疗法。我能为您服务吗？
Rachel: Oh, hi. I'm, I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green.
嗨，我是瑞秋·格林，我有预约按♥摩。
Receptionist: Okay.
好的。
Rachel: and here is my gift certificate.
这是我的礼券。
Receptionist: This's been torn up.
这被撕掉了。
Rachel: And ... taped back together.
而且被粘回去了。
Receptionist: Ok, well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready.
好的，等您的按♥摩师准备好后，我会马上通知您的。
Rachel: Ok.
好的。
Receptionist: Have a seat through the glass doors.
请在玻璃门外的沙发坐一下。
Rachel: Through the glass doors.
在玻璃门外。
Receptionist: Through the glass doors.
在玻璃门外。
Rachel: Alrighty then.
好的。
Receptionist: Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.
菲比，你的下一位客人在候客室等着。
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that when they're not around?
当客人不在的时候，我们也要这样说话吗？
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
喔，不不不……听着，有人可以帮我做这一个吗？
Receptionist: Sorry, everyone is booked!
对不起，大家都被预约了！
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
那女人不能知道我在这里工作。她是我朋友，而我告诉她我很讨厌这些糟糕的按♥摩连锁店。
Receptionist: Then why do you work here?
那你为什么要在这里工作呢？
Phoebe: Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!
因为薪水很好啊！但是那并不会改变……这是个邪恶、吸血、大企业体的事实！
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
我倒是觉得这是个不错的工作环境！
Phoebe: Ok, are they listening?
好，他们有在监听吗？
Joey: Ross!
罗斯！
Ross: Hi!
嗨！
Joey: I uh, I need to talk to you about Charlie.
我需要跟你谈查莉的事。
Ross: Oh, do you, do you really?
喔，真的吗？有必要吗？
Joey: Yeah, I'm ... I'm kinda having a little problem.
是啊，我有一点小问题。
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it!
听着，如果你不知道“尖酸刻薄” 是什么意思，那就不要用它！
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo ...
听着，你了解查莉，不是吗？她很酷、风趣，而且她的身材又很……
Ross: Get to the problem!
说重点！
Joey: Right. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined!
好的，她只是比我约会过的所有女生……全部加起来都还要聪明！
Joey: You know, and I just, I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
你知道吗？而我只是，我不想要让她觉得我很笨！
Ross: Are you wearing two belts?
你系两条皮带吗？
Joey: Eh, what do you know!
嘿，你怎么知道的呢？
Ross: You were saying you didn't wanna seem stupid.
你刚刚说你不想看起来很笨。
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she, like she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
嗯，她想要去那些很有文化的地方……而我不知道要怎么谈论那些东西，你一定要帮我！
Ross: You know, I-I really don't wanna get involved in you guy's relationship.
我不想要介入你们的关系当中。
Joey: Oh dude, please, come on, you're the smartest person I know and I-I really like this girl, ok, I-I don't wanna lose her.
老兄，拜托，别这样 你是我认识的最聪明的人，而我真的很喜欢这个女生，好吗？我不想要失去她。
Ross: Fine.
好啦。
Joey: Thanks.
谢谢。
Ross: Ok. Let's see. Oh, you-you should take her to the MET!
好的，让我想想。喔，你应该带她去大都会！
Joey: The Metsss!
大都会队！
Ross: No-no-no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
不，大都会！大都会艺术博物馆。
Joey: Oh, that's what she meant!
喔，原来她指的是那个！
Joey: You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! you know? short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
如果他们要用简称，应该把它叫做“博物”，你知道吗？博物馆的简称，避免混淆！
Ross: Yeah, yeah, most days the place is packed with confused angry baseball fans.
是啊，很多时候那地方都挤满了混淆又生气的棒球迷。
Joey: Ok, all right, so, I-I'll take her to the MET.
好的，那我带她去大都会。
Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue.
对了，在麦迪逊大道上有间很棒的书店。
Ross: You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do?
你知道吗？她热爱建筑？
Ross: You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
你应该带她从第五大道散步，到圣派屈克教堂在那边有间很棒的烘培坊，她一定会喜欢。
Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!
天啊，听起来好像是你应该去约会才对！
Ross: But I'm not!
但是我并没有！
Ross: You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food ...
你知道吗，如果你有心情吃泰国食物……
Joey: Okay, slow down.
好的，说慢一点。
Joey: You're going way too fast. Okay? Just go back to the Met.
你说的太快了，好吗？先回去讲大都会。
Ross: Ok.
好的。
Joey: So, you gotta tell me exactly what to do there.
你必须要详细告诉我在那边要做什么。
Ross: Ok, when you walk in the museum, take a right, okah? that's the antiquities wing.
当你们进入博物馆时，先向右转……那边是古代文物厅。
Ross: Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.
古埃及、美索不达米亚直到拜占庭帝国。
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ok, so, I walk in the door and make a right.
喔噢，喔噢，喔噢，喔噢，喔噢，好的，所以我进门以后，往右转。
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. I mean how do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the Internet.
我觉得这地方怪怪的，我怎么知道……他们会不会偷录下来，然后放到网络上呢？
Monica: Because, honey, I-I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
因为，亲爱的……我以我能做到最甜美的方式告诉你……没有人会想要看的。
Nurse: Mr. Bing? Here you are!
宾先生？拿去吧！
Nurse: You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
进去那间房间，然后把样本放入容器内。
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, I usually have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
把样本放入？我通常要打一些900电话才能听到这种谈话。谢谢，知道了。
Monica: All right, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're gonna be ok?
好了，亲爱的，我的检查在另外一边，你确定你还好吗？
Chandler: Yeah, I guess!
是的，我想应该吧！
Monica: Look, I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!
听着，我知道这很尴尬，但是没有人在乎啊，在这里根本没有人认识你！
Janice: Oh my God!
喔，我的天啊！
Chandler: Oh, Come on!
喔，瘟神啊！
Janice: How great is this!
这是不是太棒了呢？
Monica: Yeah, we're probably fertile, let's go home!
我们或许没有不孕，我们回家吧！
Chandler: Why are you here?
你为什么会在这里呢？
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we ...
西德跟我想要再试一次，我们上一次有问题……
Chandler: No no no, I mean, why? why is she here?
不不不，我是说，为什么？为什么她会在这里？
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today 'cause they have to do it in a cup! Oh! They gave you the kiddy size.
有人今天不太高兴，因为他们要弄到一个杯子里面……喔，他们给你小孩用的杯子。
Chandler: What? !
什么？！
Monica: This was fun! But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to!
这真有趣，但是我有内诊要去做！
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh ... got a hot date ...
我也希望我可以留下来，但是我有个火♥辣的约会。
Janice: Please go! Just let me know if you need a hand!
请便，如果你需要帮手的话告诉我。
Chandler: I think it just fell off.
我想它刚刚消退了。
Phoebe: Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put-put your face in the hole.
嗨，是的按♥摩时候到了，是的把你的脸放入洞中。
Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person.
真正瑞典人做的瑞典式按♥摩。
Phoebe: Ok, then I'm Swedish.
好的，那我就是瑞典人。
Monica: So, what's your name?
你叫什么名字呢？
Phoebe: It's a normal Swedish name ... Ikea.
只是平凡一般的瑞典名字宜家（瑞典家具卖场）。
Rachel: Oh, what an interesting name.
哇，真是有趣的名字。
Phoebe: Ja!
是啊！
Rachel: You know I ...
你知道，我……
Phoebe: Time for your scalp massage!
头皮按♥摩时间到了！
Rachel: Wow. I really love your ...
哇，我真的好喜欢你的……
Phoebe: Is something wrong?
有什么不对吗？
Rachel: No, it's just that uhm ... just feels so good ... Ikea.
不，只是……只是觉得很舒服……宜家。
Rachel: No, hey, say, you'll know this, what's the capital of Sweden?
嘿，看你知不知道这个，瑞典的首都是哪里呢？
Phoebe: Uhm ... Stockholm.
斯德哥尔摩。
Rachel: Damn! I wish I knew if that was right!
该死的！希望我知道那是对还是错。
Joey: Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.
看那些线条，潜藏多层颜料厚涂在画布上……莫奈快速地作画，而且通常是在户外……因为他和光线一样喜欢孤独。
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
你知道你刚刚说的是什么意思吗？
Joey: No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
不，我的嘴巴说着那些字，但是我的头脑想的是“怪兽卡车”！
Ross: Wow.
哇喔。
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is-is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y.I just ... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
现在，记住，当你进入博物馆时……莫奈的写法不是MONAY。我只是帮你用发音写下来。
Joey: Phonetically?
发音？
Ross: Yeah, yeah, that means ... you know? We just ... we don't have time for this.
是的，那是……我们没有时间讨论那些了。
Joey: Ok.
好的。
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that-that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
我得说我真的很惊讶你可以这么快速背下这些东西！
Joey: Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy".
我是演员，我可以背下任何东西的，上星期在《我们的日子》剧中，我得说：“前端颞颧骨切开术”。
Ross: Wow. Wh-what's that mean?
哇，那是什么意思呢？
Joey: No idea!
不知道！
Joey: But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so, I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
但是那个被我那样说的男的，在下一集就死了，所以我想那可能是说“你会被熊给吃了”。
Ross: Ok! Um. So let's move on to the, to the Renaissance?
好的，那我们来看，文艺复兴时期？
Joey: Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy!
好的，卡拉瓦乔在这里使用了明暗对照法……突显出中央人物的极度痛苦。碰触它，还真是凹凸不平！
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you-you can't touch the paintings.
不，不能即兴演出，还有，你不能乱碰的。
Joey: Come on! you ...
担心什么？
Ross: No! No!
不！
Chandler: My specimen is in the room, and I just wanna thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there.
我的样本在房间里了，我只想谢谢刚刚那个。我在里面的时候敲门的人。
Chandler: Really helped speed the process along!
真的帮助加速了整个流程！
Chandler: Janice! You're not ... gone?
珍妮丝，你还没有消失啊？
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him.
西德还在他的房间里，我不许家里有色情书刊，所以这对他而言简直是快乐假期。
Janice: So, did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
所以你做了吗？完成你的样品存放手续了吗？
Chandler: Yeah! yeah. Hard part is over!
是啊！最困难的部份结束了！
Janice: Oh, that's not the hard part honey!
那不是最困难的，亲爱的！
Chandler: Well, no, there is talking to you, but- Monica is gonna come out, we're gonna go soon.
没错啊，跟你说完了，莫妮卡出来了我们很快就要走了。
Janice: Chandler, the hard part is what comes next. Aren't you a little worried about the results? I mean, oh, when Sid and I did this last time. My God, I was a mess.
钱德，接下来才是最困难的部份，你难道不担心结果吗？我是说，当西德跟我上次来做的时候，我的天，我紧张死了。
Chandler: I haven't even ... thought about the results ... I just ... assumed that everything was gonna be ok.
我根本没有想过结果……我只是以为一切都会没事。
Janice: oh, you know what? you probably is.
结果你知道吗？
Chandler: Yeah, but what if it's not ok? I mean what if, what if there is a reason we can't have a baby?
或许就是没事但是要是有事呢？我是说万一我们不孕是有原因的呢？
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
钱德，听着，你跟莫妮卡一定会有小孩，我敢说一切一定都没事的。
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, ok, thanks. I mean I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to ... come here and do ... 'that' ...
是啊，是啊，好了，谢谢。我不敢相信我竟然没有想过，我是说我好担心要过来这里做检验。
Janice: I mean, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
你可以在塔可钟餐厅的停车场做……但是你没有办法在诊所做吗？
Chandler: It was a "Wendy's!"
是在温蒂汉堡！
Phoebe: "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi!" And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking!
这就是瑞典国歌，谢谢你问了！
Rachel: Wow, Ikea ... what a rich culture.
哇，宜家真是丰富的文化。
Rachel: Uhm, you know what? I have a-a friend who is a masseuse.
你知道吗？我有个朋友也是按♥摩师。
Phoebe: Oh, Ja! Ja!
喔？是吗？
Rachel: Yeah! She's ... uhm ... not very good though ...
是啊！不过她不是很行……
Phoebe: A-ha, A-ha, and why do you think that is?
啊哈，啊哈，你为什么会那样觉得呢？
Rachel: I don't know ... maybe it's because she has got such callusy fingers from playing crummy guitar ...
我不知道，或许是因为她的手指很僵硬，大概是练弹烂吉他造成的。
Phoebe: Ha-ha-ha ... or, maybe she has trouble loosening your knots because you're such a high-maintenance tight-ass!
哈哈哈……或许因为她很难放松你的筋骨，因为你真是个难搞的俏屁♥股！
Rachel: Phoebe!
菲比！
Phoebe: You know it's me?
你知道是我？
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
嗯，知道半个小时了！
Phoebe: How-how can you come here?
你怎么能够到这里来呢？
Rachel: How could you not tell me you worked here?
你为什么没说你在这里工作呢？
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
我不需要告诉你每件事！
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're gonna make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
如果你让我觉得来这里享受免♥费♥按♥摩是很罪恶的事，那你就要！
Phoebe: Tips not included.
小费还是要照算的。
Rachel: Oh!
噢！
Rachel: Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?
为什么你不敢说你在这里工作呢？
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash!
因为我觉得很丢脸，好吗？我为金钱出卖自己！
Phoebe: And then they give me, give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401 Kur.
他们提供一些福利，像是医保、纳税什么的。
Phoebe: But you know ... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
但是你知道的，要付出代价的，现在我成了大公司的傀儡，每天打卡上班然后还要缴税！
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit!
菲比，亲爱的，如果你这样痛恨这工作……你应该马上走出去，然后辞职。
Rachel: Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
相信你所坚信的理念，亲爱的，你是有原则的人，所以我很钦佩你！我才是没有原则！
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
你知道吗？你说的对，我要去辞职。该是我重新生活的时候了！
Rachel: Good for you Pheebs!
很好，菲比。
Phoebe: Ok.
好。
Phoebe: If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
如果你们在里面也有装麦克风，我在里面说的都不是真的。我爱你们。
Ross: Haha! Got ya! Die, die, die!
打到了！死吧！死吧！死吧！
Ross: Respectfully, professor R.Geller.
诚挚地，盖勒教授敬上。
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Charlie: Hey!
嗨！
Ross: Hey, how was, how was the Met?
嘿，大都会好玩吗？
Charlie: Oh, the museum was amazing!
博物馆真的很惊人！
Ross: Yeah? Joey really knows this art, huh?
是啊，乔伊真的很懂艺术，不是吗？
Charlie: Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense.
并不尽然，不很明显地他清楚地背下了要说的东西……但是很多东西都很不对劲。
Ross: What'd you mean?
你是什么意思呢？
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
嗯，例如……他谈论的都是根本不在展出的绘画。
Ross: Wait a minute ... wait, when you guys walked into the Met, did-did you go to the right?
等等，你们进入博物馆之后是往右边走吗？
Charlie: No, no, we went to the left.
不不，我们往左边走。
Ross: Oh Joey, Joey, Joey!
喔，乔伊，乔伊，乔伊！
Ross: Well still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
可是你们看起来也是度过快乐的时光啊。
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, it's fun.
是啊，是，很好玩。
Ross: What?
怎样？
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
事实上，乔伊是你的朋友……而你也不是很了解我，这会很奇怪的。
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
嗯，可能会有点，但是不会啦，怎样呢？跟我说。
Charlie: Well ... I'm, I'm just thinking that maybe Joey isn't the right guy for me to be with right now, you know, maybe I should be with someone ...
嗯……我在想或许乔伊不是很适合我，你知道的，或许我应该跟……
Charlie: I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
跟我比较相像的人在一起，你知道我的意思吗？
Ross: Yeah.
是啊。
Ross: But you know what? Um, I don't know, I think, I think you should give Joey a chance.
是啊，但是你知道吗？我想你应该给乔伊一个机会，
Ross: I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but ...
我是说他是个好男人，当然他是不知道很多艺术的东西，但是……
Ross: you know, you could always talk about that with someone else.
你可以跟其他知道的人谈论啊。
Charlie: Yeah, I guess that's true.
我想也是。
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you.
如果你仔细想想……他背下所有的东西只是因为，他认为那些东西对你很重要。
Ross: You know, that's the kinda guy Joey is.
你知道的，乔伊就是那样子的人。
Charlie: He is very sweet.
他是非常贴心的。
Charlie: Plus he's hot!
还有，他真是帅毙了！
Ross: That-that was gonna be my next argument.
这就是我下一个要争论的。
Joey: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Charlie: Hey!
嘿！
Joey: You ready?
你准备好了吗？
Charlie: Yeah, let's go.
好了，我们走吧。
Joey: Wow!
哇！
Charlie: Thanks, Ross.
谢了，罗斯。
Ross: Yeah.
不客气。
Joey: Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
嘿，罗斯！艺术那些东西真是有效，你真帮了大忙。
Ross: Glad I could help man.
很高兴能够帮上忙，兄弟。
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but ... I made it work.
有些你说的东西并没有在那里，但是我都搞定了。
Chandler: It is not ok that I'm aroused by this now.
我现在不能因为这个而勃起了。
Chandler: Hello?
嗨？
Chandler: Oh, hi, Doctor Connelly. Uh, no, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this?
喔，嗨，唐纳利医生。不，她现在不在……但是我可以转告她。我应该先坐下来再听吗？
Chandler: Oh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, well, so, what's that mean?
那，那是什么意思呢？
Chandler: Ok. Uh, ok, thank you. Thanks.
好的，好的，谢谢你。谢谢。
Monica: Hey sweetie.
嘿，亲爱的。
Chandler: Doctor Connelly just called.
唐纳利医生刚刚打电话来。
Monica: Oh. With-with good news?
有好消息吗？
Monica: Of course it is not good news, you just said "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would've said "Doctor Connelly just called! "
当然不是好消息啰，你是说“唐纳利医生刚刚打电话来”，如果是好消息你会说 “唐纳利医生刚刚打电话来！”
Monica: But, uh, so, what-what is it? Is it, uh, is there a problem, is there a problem with me, or with you?
那，是怎样呢？是不是……有问题吗？是我的问题还是你的呢？
Chandler: Actually it's both of us.
事实上我们两个都有问题。
Monica: What?
什么？
Chandler: Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.
很显然地，我的精♥子活动力太低了，而你有不适宜着床的环境。
Monica: Oh. What's that mean?
喔，那是什么意思呢？
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their Barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do.
意思就是说我的家伙根本没有办法出兵，而你的子♥宫已准备好，要杀死入侵的小兵了。
Chandler: It means ...
意思是……
Monica: Chandler?
等等，钱德？
Chandler: It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
意思是我们可以继续尝试……但是我们很有可能永远都不会怀孕。
Monica: My God!
喔，我的！
Chandler: I'm sorry.
我很抱歉。
Monica: I'm sorry too.
我也很抱歉。
Chandler: Well, we're gonna, we're gonna figure this out.
嗯……我们会想出办法的。
Monica: I know.
我知道。
Receptionist: Good morning Phoebe.
早安，菲比。
Phoebe: Good morning receptionist.
早安，总台小姐。
Receptionist: Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room No. 1.
这是你今天的工作排程。你第一位客人在一号房。
Phoebe: Rachel Green? Son of a bitch, she came back?
“瑞秋·格林”，狗♥娘♥养的！她又回来了？
Phoebe: Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassie.
你准备好要享受苏格兰式按♥摩了吗？把你的脸放进洞里，小姐。