So I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth. And since it's Rachel's birthday, and we want to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon. Agh!
我会准备好蜡烛和我妈的蕾丝桌布。由于是瑞秋的生日，我们要特别一点，我想我会煮一条三文鱼。哦！
What?
咋啦？
Question. Why do we always set the parties where you poach things?
我有个问题。为什么每次我们开派对，你都要水煮东西？
You want to be in charge of the food committee?
你想负责食物委员会吗？
Question Two. Why do we always have parties with committees?
问题二，为什么我们总是开有委员会的派对？
Yeah, really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?
对啊，说真的。为什么我们不能买些披萨跟啤酒，大家尽兴地吃喝玩乐呢？
Yeah! Yeah, I agree. You know, i think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside. And I'm just not sure we are.
对啊！就是，我同意。我认为只有你内心很特别派对才会很有趣。而我不觉得我们是这样。
Alright. You guys don't want it to be special? Fine! You can throw any kind of party you want.
好吧。你们不想要点特别的？随便啊！你们想办什么样的派对随便你们。
Joey, they're not real!
乔伊，它们是假的！
Ah? Ah.
啊？啊！
I start miles beneath the surface of these things. Okay? They're fake. See? Honk, honk!
这里面空空如也。懂没？它们是假的！瞧见没？空~空~如也！
Wow, it's...it's like porno for clowns!
哇塞！好像……好像给小丑看的色情片哦！
I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
我跟瑞秋的姐妹说过了，她们都不能来。
OK. Um...so I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
好的。呃……那我还得邀请迪伦和艾玛，还有珊侬·库伯。
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Um, no Shannon Cooper.
哇，哇，哇！不要邀请珊侬·库伯。
Why not her? Because she um.... she steals stuff.
为什么？因为她……她会偷东西。
Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
又或许她不会偷东西，只是乔伊跟她上床后就没再给她打过电话了。
Joey, that is horrible.
乔伊，那太过份了。
Hey, I liked her. Alright? Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know. I...I guess I just got scared.
嘿，我挺喜欢她的，好吧？或许，或许是太喜欢了。我不知道。我……我想我只是害怕了。
Oh, my god! I'm sorry, I didn't know.
天啊！对不起，我不知道是这样的。
I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay!
没想到居然会有人相信。好啦！
Hi, honey. How did it go?
亲爱的，什么情况？
It was the graduation from hell.
地狱般的毕业典礼。
You know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.
知道吗？我表弟靠足球奖学金上的“地狱大学”。
You know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduated from college. Nobody thought she would.
这本该是个快乐的场合。我妹妹从大学毕业了，谁也没料到。
It's a true testament to what a girl from Long island will do for a Celica.
这也真实地说明了，一个长岛女孩为了一部赛利卡跑车（丰田）愿意做什么。
So what happened?
那到底怎么了？
My parents happened.
是我父母啦！
All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly and not talk about the divorce. But noooo!
他们只需要坐在同一个体育馆里，露出骄傲的笑容，绝口不提离婚的事，但他们做不到！
They got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. Agh!
开幕致词到一半时，他们吵得不可开交。主教Tutu甚至得停下来，叫他俩住口。哦！
You know what? You know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours.
你们知道好消息是什么吗？我接下来得为人倒八小时的咖啡。
OK. So I guess we don't invite her parents.
那我想我们还是不要邀请她父母了。
Well, how about just her mom?
只邀请她妈妈怎么样？
Why her mom?
为什么是她妈妈？
Because I already invited her.
因为我已经邀请了。
Woo, woo, did you ask Stacy Roth?
哦，哦，你邀请史戴西·罗斯了吗？
Ay, can't invite her. She also steals. So does her roommate.
唉，不能邀她。她也会偷东西。还有她的室友也是。
Okay! Here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
好啦！这是生日蛋糕的蜡烛，生日蛋糕在哪儿呢？
Okay, we're not having birthday cake. We're having birthday FLAN.
是这样的，我们不吃生日蛋糕，改吃生日馅饼。
Excuse me?
什么？
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.
是一种传统墨西哥蛋奶沙司甜点。
Oh, that's nice. Happy birthday, Rachel. Here's some goo!
哦，很不错哦！生日快乐，瑞秋，来点糨糊吧！
Dr. Green! Oh, my God! It's Rachel's dad. What are you doing here?
格林医生！老天啊，是瑞秋的爸爸。你来做什么呀？
What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
怎么了？女儿生日，老爸过来看看也不行吗？
No, no, the father can. But um...since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here. And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So byebye.
不，不，老爸当然可以。但是……由于我是她室友，我可以告诉你她不在。我会转告她你来过了，好吧？所以，再见了。
Oh! You're having a party! !!
哦~~~你们要开派对！
No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of people Rachel knows.
不是，不是派对啦。只是一群瑞秋认识的人的惊喜聚会。
Um, this is Phoebe, and Chandler and Joey. I'll never remember all of that.
呃，这是菲比，钱德和乔伊。 我肯定记不住他们名字的。
So um...what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it?
那么……你们怎么计划的？瑞秋回来，大家跳出来尖叫，是这样吗？
This isn't your first surprise party, is it, sir?
这不是您的第一个惊喜派对，对吧？
Hi, Monica.
你好，莫妮卡。
The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.
中餐馆的伙计。他忘记拿菜单了。
So, basically just a Chinese guy.
所以，就只是个中国人而已。
Hey! Dr. Green, why don't you come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.
嘿！格林医生，你跟我来好了。我们把你外套放瑞秋床上去。
All right. That sounds like a twoperson job.
好吧，听起来像是需要两个人一起干的活儿。
Well, my goodness! What was that?
我的天，你刚才怎么了？
Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we weren't ready for you yet.
桑德拉，真对不起，我以为你是瑞秋，而我们还没准备就绪。
You thought I was Rachel?
你以为我是瑞秋？
Yes, because um...you look so young.
对啊，因为……你看起来好年轻。
And because you're both, you know, white women.
而且你们两个都是……白种女人。
Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
哦，我好想念你们啊！我应该把外套放进卧室吗？
No! No, I'll take that for ya.
不！不用，交给我就好了。
Oh, well, thank you. Okay. Such a gentleman. Thank you.
那就谢了。没事儿。真是个绅士。谢谢。
Oh! It all looks so nice, so festive. The balloons. Oh, the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was driving...
哦！看起来好棒啊，充满节日的气氛。还有气球。对了，我过来的路上发生了一件非常有趣的事情。我正开着车……
Haha, that's great, hahaha! I can't wait to hear the rest of it, you know. But I really have to go to the bathroom. So...Hey, come with me.
哈哈，太有趣了，哈哈哈！我迫不及待想听你说完，但是我真的要去趟厕所。所以……嘿，你跟我一起去吧。
What? Yeah, yeah, we'll be like gal pals, you know, like at a restaurant. It'll be fun! Come on. Come on!
什么？对的对的，就是你，就像我们是闺蜜那样，在餐厅里。会很好玩的！走吧。走啊！
I didn't see...
我不认为……
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
天哪，天哪，天哪！
OK! Think. Think. What would Jack and Chrissy do?
想一想，快想一想。杰克跟克里斯会怎么做？（肥皂剧《三人行》的主角，克里斯瞒着家人与杰克做室友）
Okay, now your coat is safely in the bedroom...Okay! We can come back out in the living room.
好了，你的外衣已安全放到床上了……好的！我们现在可以回客厅了。
So um, Joey and Chandler, I...I think it's time you take Dr. Green over to your place.
对了，乔伊，钱德，我想是时候让你们带格林医生去你们的公寓了。
Um...Yes, absolutely. Um...why again?
呃，对，完全正确。呃，能再问一次为什么吗？
Because that's where the party is, you goon!
因为派对在你们那边呀，你个傻瓜！
See, this is just the staging area. Right, it's the staging area. This is more than anything else. This is staging area.
这边只是准备区。对。这边是准备区。这边只是准备区。仅此而已。
This is clearly in the wrong apartment. You can't...
明显搞错地方了。你不能……