快乐
圣诞
万湖之地(明尼苏达州)
早上好
Morning.
嗯
Yeah.
睡得还好吗?
Sleep okay?
还行吧
Okay.
你还记得昨晚发生了什么吗?
Do you remember last night?
嗯
Yeah.
我跟你说了我对你恨之入骨
l told you that l hated your guts
并且再也不想见到你了
and that l never wanted to see you again.
然后你就从我身边跑掉 躲到车底下去了
And then you ran away from me and hid under a car.
- 我有吗? - 是的
- l did? - Yeah.
等我们回到家之后
And when we got back home,
你就让我睡地板
you made me sleep on the floor.
睡在你的呕吐物边上
Next to your puke.
这个我记得
l remember that.
好吧...
Well...
你要道歉吗?
Are you sorry?
我♥干♥嘛要道歉?
For which part?
所以你想分手喽?
So do you want to break up?
不想啊
No.
那... 咱俩这样算怎么回事?
Well, then... What's going on?
我不知道 托姆 也许我现在有点儿讨厌你...
l don't know, maybe l kind of hate you right now, Thom...
可是这并不代表我想…
but that doesn't mean that l want--
分手? 天呐
Break up? Jesus.
来喵一声 来啊 喵一声
Meow for me. Come on, meow.
那你想让我怎么做?
What do you want me to do?
不知道
l don't know.
为什么非得让我来拿主意?
Why does that have to be up to me?
为什么凡事都要由我来决定?
Why do l have to decide everything?
保持微笑
开心最重要
这是圣诞节的前一天 漫山遍野
'Twas the day before Christmas and all through the hills,
都是在玩耍的驯鹿 它们享受着滑雪
the reindeer were playing, enjoying the spills of skating
和溜冰的乐趣 还爬上柳树...
and coasting, and climbing the willows...
- 所以你今天要去见他? - 是的
- So, you seeing him today? - Yes.
你是要去做个了断?
And you're ending things?
我都说了几千遍了 是的
For the thousandth time, yes.
给我看看 谢谢
Let me see, thanks.
哇
Wow.
"真心希望你朋友没事"
''Really hope your friend's okay.
"我已经等不及要见你了"
Can't wait to see you today.''
看来你今天中午已经有安排了 真是太好了呢
Good thing you got your brunch shift covered, huh, buddy?
要不然我给他发个信息 然后我们去看电影?
How about l text him instead, and we go watch a movie?
不要吧 那样不公平
No. That wouldn't be fair.
- 对谁不公平? - 对杰瑞米
- To who? - To Jeremy
不好意思 他还有名字啊?
l'm sorry, he has a name?
你还给那个我们要流掉的胚胎起了名字啊?
You've named the fetus that we're aborting?
哇! 那次阴♥道♥超声检查
Wow! That transvaginal ultrasound
对你的影响还真是不小啊
really worked its magic on you.
凯尔 他可是个人
He's a person, Cal.
我知道 都两个月了
l'm aware, at two months
他有指甲 有心跳 还有"灵魂"呢
he's got fingernails, a heartbeat, a ''soul.''
这不是他的错
lt's not his fault.
谢谢
Thanks.
好吧
Okay.
- 我爱你 - 嗯
- l love you. - Yeah.
你能过来吗?
Can you come over?
- 我给你打了一整天电♥话♥ - 你就他妈的...
- l've been calling you all day. - Just fucking...
过来 行吗?
come over, okay?
- 嗨 - 嗨
- Hi. - Hi.
你没穿上衣
You are shirtless.
你来早了 进来吧
You're early. Come in.
谢谢
Thanks.
我们要去看什么电影?
So what movie are we seeing?
呃... 我现在不太想看电影
Um, l'm really not feeling a movie right now.
你想直接跳到喝酒这一步?
You just wanna skip straight to drinks?
是啊 来杯酒应该有点帮助
Yeah, a drink might help.
帮助什么?
Help with what?
我现在...
l'm just...
心里好乱啊(直译"洒落一地")
all over the place.
这不找回来了吗 (杰瑞米误解了)
Found you.
其实你不用穿鞋了
You might wanna leave your shoes off, actually.
为什么?
Why's that?
等一下!
Just a second!
我现在一团糟 我懂的 抱歉
l'm a mess, l know, and l'm sorry.
这不过又是糟糕的一天罢了
lt's just been one of those days,
我才刚刚化好妆
you know where the second l get my makeup on
就被我哭花了 然后你知道我怎么做的吗?
l just piss it right off, so you know what l do?
我冷静下来 清理好 又化了一遍
l calm down, l clean up, l reapply.
这让我想起来
Which makes me remember
一开始我他妈的为什么要哭
why l was fucking crying in the first place,
然后 那情绪又来了 我又哭了一次
and then 'thar she blows' and l just cry all over again--
凯尔 我今天就净干了化妆这件事吧?
And you know all l've done today, Cal, is to put on makeup?
谢谢你来这儿
Thanks for coming.
六个月啊!
Six months!
我们居然在一起六个月了!
We've been together for six months!
恭喜
Congratulations.
不 天煞的可怕!
No, it's fucking awful!
我能用下卫生间吗?
Can l use your bathroom?
凯尔 我几岁了?
How old am l, Cal?
我才25呐
l am 25.
一般人25岁的时候是不会结婚的
People do not get married when they are 25,
除非他们住在明尼阿波利斯unless they live in Minneapolis.
我才不想住在明尼阿波利斯
l do not want to live in Minneapolis!
- 我要关门了 - 别关啊
- l'm closing the door. - Don't close the door.
过分
Rude!
太过分了
Rude!
到底怎么回事?
So what happened?
在昨晚那个兴致骤降的末日派对上
Last night, at the anticlimactic apocalypse party.
你也在那儿
You were there.
我在想别的事情 世界末日什么的
l was a little preoccupied, the world was ending.
伊恩向我求婚了 凯尔
lan just proposed Cal,
在众人面前 说想和我结婚
marriage, in front of everybody.
什么?!
What?!
那你怎么回答?
What did you say?
我该怎样回答? 他手里都拿着戒指
What was l supposed to say? He had a ring.
天呐 我能看看吗?
Oh, my God, can l see it?
不能 我压根就不想戴
No, l am not wearing it for Chris' sake,
我已经躲着他一整天了
l've been dodging him all day!
我都不知道该怎么办 你叫我来不就为了这事吗?
l don't even know what to do. lsn't that why you called?
其实不是
No, actually.
话说托姆去哪了?
Where's Thom, anyway?
让我们一醉方休
Let's get drunk.
BGM
Your Girlfriend
by Max Vernon
振作起来
去他的 说真的 去他妈的
Like, fuck him, like, seriously fuck him.
这是纯威士忌吗?
ls this straight whiskey?
我有点儿宿醉
l'm hungover.
好吧
All right.
我能给你说个秘密吗?
Can l tell you a secret?
我从来就没喜欢过他
l never liked him anyway.
早看出来了
Not a secret.
我想带你去见见我朋友克里斯托弗
l want you to meet my friend Christopher.
我已经见过他了
l've met Christopher.
那不算! 你甚至都没给过他机会
No! You've not given him a chance.
你得跟他试试才知道合不合适呀
You've gotta take him for a test drive.
我们在一起四年了
We've been together for four years.
还养了一只猫
We have a cat.
在同志圈里 这就相当于养了2.8个孩子
ln gay terms that's like, 2.8 kids.
我觉得这就是你的问题所在
l think that's your problem.
- 什么? 猫吗? - 是的
- What? The cat? - Yeah.