在我消失前（2014）

亲爱的Vista
Dear Vista,
我打算写这张字条很长时间了
I've been meaning to write this note for a long time
但我不太擅长表达自己
but I'm not very good at expressing myself.
所以先这么说吧
So I'll just say this.
我思念你的笑容
I miss your smile.
希望看到这张字条的你一切安好
I'd say that I hope this note finds you well
但是随着这些事情的发生
but as these things go..
...情况不会如此
...that won't be the case.
几个小时之前
A few hours ago
我发现这女孩儿在德沃俱乐部的卫生间最后一隔
I found this girl looking a little too peaceful
有点儿太平静了
in the last bathroom stall of The Devoe.
我不知道怎么看待这件事 我检查了她的脉搏但是..
I didn't know what to think of it. I checked her pulse, but..
她已经走了..
...she was gone
可怕的是这令我些许地想到了你
And the scary thing is she reminded me a little bit of you
正如你一样，她撒手人寰，丢下某人
and just like you, she left someone behind.
很抱歉让你看到这个, Richie
I'm sorry you had to see this, Richie.
一年轻漂亮的姑娘死在厕所里
A beautiful young girl dead on the toilet seat.
我是说，没人需要这样被刺♥激♥
I mean, nobody needs that kind of excitement
不是吗？
am I right?
你欠德沃俱乐部什么东西？
What do you owe The Devoe?
你的债都清了，Richie，好么？
Because that debt is gone.It's gone, Richie. Okay?
你和我，互不相欠了
You and me, we're even.
你欠其他人的钱，我也换种眼光看待
The money you owe everybody else, I'm gonna look the other way on that too.
你就像我的一个儿子, Richie.
You're like a son to me, Richie.
这些年我感觉如同你父亲一样
I feel like a father to you all these years.
我知道我们并不一块儿玩
I know we don't hang out together
但我就是这么觉得
but...that's how I feel.
真的
I really feel that way. I do.
拿着这个，我请的
Take this. That's on me.
你什么都不欠我的
You don't owe me nothin'.
拿着 然后..
Take that and, uh..
就是..你今晚儿上看到的只有我们俩人知道
just...just keep what you saw here tonight between us
行吗？嘿，好不好？
alright? Hey. Alright?
我很感激, Richie.
I appreciate that, Richie.
没有你的世界冷酷又孤独，Vista
The world is a cold and lonely place without you in it, Vista.
我就是很想你
I just miss you.
自从你死了
And since you've been gone
我被指控为一个偷♥窥♥狂
I've been accused of being an observer
瘾君子
a user,
独行人
a loner,
清道夫
a cleaner,
一事无成 傻瓜
a failure and a fool...
但从来不是个参与者
but never a participant.
不是
No.
没人那样指控过我
No one's ever accused me of that.
无论如何，这次我决定不干了
Anyway, I decided it's time to call it quits.
药物也没法再麻痹我
The drugs no longer work.
我要回家啦，去见你
I'm coming home to see you
这回任何事都阻止不了我
and there ain't nothing gonna stop me this time.
你在吗，Richie.
Hello. Richie.
需要有人去Sophia学校的诗歌♥朗诵会接她，你能去吗
I need someone to pick up Sophia from her school recital today. Can you do this for me?
我知道，我们有日子没怎么联♥系♥了
I know, I know,we haven't spoken in a while
但我真没办法去学校接她
but I'm not gonna be able to pick her up from school
我被一些事儿缠着
'cause something's come up.
我现在一团糟
I'm just so fucked right now.
我现在的情况烂的要死，所以我需要你帮我这一次
I'm in a fucked-up situation and I need a favor on this one.
说点儿什么
Say something.
老天爷，我知道你又没在做什么重要的事儿
Jesus Christ, I know you're not doing anything important!
你要我隔着电♥话♥求你吗？
You want me to beg you over the phone?
那我求你了，好吗？我求你
This is me begging you, okay? I'm begging.
听着，你到了以后接她需要口令
Listen, when you get there, there's a password, okay?
只有我和她知道，口令是“栗子”
Only she and I know it.The password is "Chestnut."
听见没有？“栗子”
Are you hearing me? "Chestnut."
好不好，20分钟后能到吗？
Okay? Can you be there in 20 minutes?
你特么能不能做这件事？
Can you do this one fucking thing?
怎么样啊？
What's it gonna be?
求你了, Richie.
Please, Richie.
好吧
Okay.
[ 禁止吸烟 ]
No Smoking.
[ Margaret Hill, Sophia的妈妈 ]
[ Margaret Hill, Sophia's Mom. ]
我拥有这种特权目睹了这群孩子们
I've had the privilege of seeing these children
成长，奋进，追寻梦想
grow and move on to pursue their dreams
我必须说，这个班有一群孩子是我见过的最聪明
and I must say, this class has some of the smartest
最有天赋的
and most talented children I've ever seen.
让我们再次鼓掌欢迎
So let's have another round of applause
五年级的唱诗班
for the 5th grade choir.
我的名字是 Sophia Holy Hill.
My name is Sophia Holy Hill.
今夜的诗歌♥朗诵，我选择了
and for tonight's recital,I have chosen
“因为我不能停步等候死神”
"Because I Could Not Stop For Death"
出自19世纪美国诗人 艾米丽·荻金森之手
by the 19th century American poet, Emily Dickenson.
因为我不能停步等候死神
"Because I could not stop for death
死神好心停车接我
"He kindly stopped for me.
车厢里只有我们俩，还有“永生”同座
"The carriage held but just ourselves in immortality.
我们缓缓而行，他知道无需急促
"We slowly drove.He knew no haste.
我也抛开劳作和闲暇...
"And I had put away my labor and my leisure too --
从那时算起，已有几个世纪
"Since then, 'tis centuries and yet each seems
却似乎短过那一天的光阴
"shorter than the day.
那一天，我初次猜出，马头，朝向永恒
I first surmised the horses' heads were toward eternity."
感谢你，Sphia,让我们掌声--
Thank you, Sophia. Let's give a hand --
我还没讲完
I'm not done yet.
我将用普通话再诵这首诗歌♥
I will now recite the exact same passage in Mandarin.
口令
Password.
栗子
Chestnut.
老妈呢？
Where's mother?
27分钟后我有体操训练
I have gymnastics rehearsal in 27 minutes.
如果不能按时到，后果很严重
If I'm not there on time, there'll be hell to pay.
然后你护送我回家
After that, you've to escort me home.
明天我有考试，必须7点前到家
I have a test tomorrow,I need to be home by 7
好好准备学习
in order to study for it properly.
如果晚上七时准时准点我到不了家，后果很严重
If I'm not home by 7 p.m. on the dot, there'll be hell to pay.
好了，既然我们说清楚这一点了
Well, now that we cleared that up
我不知道你还记得我不
I don't know if you remember me
但是..我叫Richard
but...my name is Richard.
我呢，是..
And I am..
...你的舅舅
...your uncle.
我不在乎
I don't care.
所以，那个，你夏天还上学？
So, what, you, uh,take school in the summer?
是
Yes.
咋，挂科了？
What, did you flunk?
没啊，我在跳级，六年级
No, I'm skipping 6th grade.
你跳过六年级
You're skipping 6th grade.
跳六年级啊
Skipping 6th grade.
我爱六年级
I loved 6th grade.
我太爱它了 上了两遍
I loved it so much, I took it twice.
你没必要再进去了
You don't have to go beyond this point.
好哒，那什么，很高兴见到你
Okay, yeah. Well, uh, it's nice to meet you.
告诉你老妈我问她好
Tell your mom I say hello.
再见
Goodbye.
亲爱的Vista
Dear Vista
你肯定不会相信
you're not gonna believe this
但我现在比以前感到更加糟糕
but I now feel worse than I did before.
我甚至没在开玩笑
I'm not even kidding.
照旧，我的计划不变
Still, my plan remains the same
但我现在忍♥不了再回到那潭血色的水中
but I cannot bear to return to the red water.
所以这次我准备试一种略温和的方法
I'm gonna try a softer approach this time.
而不至于让我们处于糟糕的境地
Something that won't leave us quite a mess.
一般情况下，你懂的，我试着远离药片
Normally, as you know, I try to stay away from the pills
因为它有副作用
because of the adverse side effects
尤其是偏执妄想症
especially the paranoid delusions.
它们总是最早显现出来
They're usually the first to surface.