翻修达人

我们将会安装地铁瓷砖后挡板 很经典
We'll install the subway tile backsplash-- super classy--
拆掉沉闷的餐具室
tear out your sad pantry
给备用洗碗机腾出空间
to make room for the second dishwasher--
你的妻子绝对会很喜欢
your wife is gonna love that--
接下来 为了安装
and then to incorporate
你最新的岛式厨房♥ 我们要
your new kitchen island, we're gonna
拆掉这堵墙 轰隆
have to blast out this wall-- ka-blam!
然后我们要用锃亮的意大利黄铜厨具
And then we'll replace these really outdated fixtures
代替这些过时的摆设
with brushed Italian brass throughout.
我可以派一支试装小队你去家...
Now, I could have a demo crew to your house by...
看来最快得周三了
ooh, looks like early as Wednesday.
早上八点可以吗
Dose 8:00 a.m. work for you?
我说了 我只需要一个水龙头
Look, like I said, I just need a faucet.
-我不需要... -听着 斯科特
- I don't need... - Oh, listen, Scott.
我是戴夫
It's Dave.
我为了帮你
I jumped through so many hoops
绕了这么多弯
to do this for you.
我也不想告诉你这么残酷的真♥相♥
And I hate to be the one to break it to you,
但是你的问题比水龙头严重多了
but your problems run a lot deeper than a faucet.
所以 我们还是别犯傻了
So, let's not be stupid here, okay?
你是说我傻吗
Are you calling me stupid?
完全没有 我只是恳求你别犯傻
Not at all. I'm just begging you not to be stupid.
克里奇特
Cricket?
我不想听 泰瑞 我不想听
I don't want to hear it, Terry. I don't want to hear it, okay?
你要是想考察就得退到一边看我♥干♥活
You want a closer, you got to just back up and let me do my job.
好吧 再打我报告
Fine. Write me up again.
价廉物美
不行 我之前和你说过
I can't. I've told you before
不能对顾客粗鲁无礼
about being rude and abrasive to customers.
你的投诉次数累积到顶了
You've maxed out your reprimands,
现在起无薪停职
your suspensions without pay.
我没办法了
I'm-I'm out of tools.
泰瑞
Terry...
拜托 伙计
Oh, come on, man!
你得上交你的名牌
I'm gonna need you to turn in your tag.
好吧
Fine.
真正的那个
The real one.
克里奇特
好吧
Fine.
但是请把我高级设计主管的职位
But please give Wanda my position
交给旺达
as senior design executive.
她应得的
'Cause she deserves it.
办不到 因为这头衔是你瞎编的
I cannot do that, because you made up that title,
你还写在名牌上
and then you wrote it on a name tag.
那我帮你 旺达 你晋升了
Then I'll help you out. Wanda, you just got promoted!
-加油 妹子 -干什么
- You go, girl! - What?
你没有晋升 旺达
Y-You're not promoted, Wanda.
好吧
Okay.
干...
Wha...?
你为什么走路姿势这么奇怪
Why you walking so funny?
不 克里奇特 不要
No, Cricket, don't!
好吧 你的态度很明确 不
Okay, you made your point. No!
克里奇特
Cricket!
真成熟 克里奇特 你摔碎
Real mature, Cricket. I feel like you
第一面镜子的时候就表明了...
made the point with the first one--
干什么
What?!
装♥修♥专家
第一季第一集
*这是1911年的纽约
*It's 1911. In New York City*
*我在缝补衣服鞋袜*
*And I'm sewing shirts and socks*
*但突然仓库起了大火*
*But there's a fire in the warehouse*
*我的皮肤都要融化*
*And my skin is melting off*
*我内心的火焰啊*
*There's a fire deep inside of me*
*所以我们要劳动改造*
*This is why we need labor reform*
不行 不行 不行
No, no, no.
托马斯 这唱的是一个找了火的男孩
Thomas, this is a song about a boy who is literally on fire!
你听上去像是一个
You sound like a boy who's, like,
选择酸奶里加什么料的小男孩
choosing toppings for your froyo.
给我看看被火淹没
Okay, now, show me engulfing.
来 五六七八
Come on, five, six, seven, eight.
拜托 这叫被火淹没吗
Come on, you call that engulfing?!
这是什么版本的《红男绿女》
What part of Guys and Dolls is this?
别想着《红男绿女》了 小蠢蛋
Please forget Guys and Dolls, you little dummy!
我给你们写了原创音乐剧
I wrote you an original musical!
在你们学校舞台上进行全球首演
A world premiere on your school stage!
不客气
You're welcome.
天啊 扭动起来
God, now writhe!
快点 所有的火焰 都出来
Come on, all you flames, get in here!
快点 过来
Come on, get in here!
快点 快点 再加点能量
Faster, faster! More energy!
燃烧他
Burn him!
-*火焰啊* -梅尔菲先生
- *There's a fire* - Mr. Melfi?
-*在我心...* -梅尔菲先生
- *Deep inside of...* - Mr. Melfi!
能和你说几句吗
Can I speak with you?
这是艺术
It's art.
这是马上要面临的诉讼
It is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
我们要叫停《火焰之子》
We're pulling the plug on Children of the Fire.
我专门为这些学生写了《火焰之子》
I wrote Children of the Fire specifically for these students.
我知道 詹
I know, Jann.
但是学校董事会觉得
But the school board does not think
《火焰之子》不适合十二三岁的孩子
Children of the Fire is appropriate for 12- and 13-year-olds.
十二三岁的孩子就死在那场工厂大火里
Actual 12- and 13-year-olds died in that factory fire.
还有什么比这更合适的呢
So, what could be more appropriate?
董事会还觉得
The school board also thinks
他们要开创另一个方向
they need to go in another direction creatively.
所以呢 我要继续导《红男绿女》吗
So, what? I'm back to directing Guys and Dolls?
不 你什么都不导了
No, you are not directing anything.
连你也是吗 道格
Et tu, Doug?
连你也是
Et tu?
好了
Okay.
好了 孩子们
Okay, company.
今天的排练结束了
Rehearsals are done for today.
他说我的编舞
He inferred that my choreography...
不合适 很粗俗
was inappropriate and abusive.
不 道格
I mean, no, Doug.
让那些孩子
Abusive is making those kids
演第18遍《红男绿女》才叫粗俗
do fucking Guys and fucking Dolls for the 18th time.
就是啊...
Well, yeah, I mean...
那些混♥蛋♥
Those idiots,
他们根本无法理解你的创想
they can't comprehend your vision, right?
都是些官架子
I mean, they're bureaucrats.
就像我在价廉物美家具店
It's like me at Fair & Square.
泰瑞说我对客人
Terry says that I am rude
很粗鲁无礼
and abrasive to the customers?
你是想改造客人的生活
You're trying to turn that customer's life around,
泰瑞就说你"粗鲁"
and Terry called you "Abrasive"?
你在那里真是浪费了你的天赋
Oh, your gifts were wasted there.
说到这个
Well, hey, talk about wasted talents.
我告诉你 如果你
I tell you what, if you put
在百老汇上演《火焰之子》
Children of the Fire up on Broadway,
那肯定能演上好几百年
it would run for a hundred years.
但只可惜我们的学校
But, unfortunately, our schools
只会教一群平庸的人
are in the business of teaching mediocrity.
我们都被压在同样的十字架下 亲爱的
Yeah. We're both nailed to the same cross, my love.
詹 我们只能这样了吗
Jann, is this it for us?
我们的人生只能这样了吗
I mean, is this just our life now?
我们注定是生活在一群瞎子中的
We're destined to be two people with vision
明眼人了吗
living amongst the blind?
我不知道
I don't know.
这个系统好像都在和我们做对
It's like the system is rigged against us.
康奈利夫妇专家
只有这个解释了
It's the only explanation.
我们来了 大套房♥