绑定

You dropped that, dude.
我的天啊
Holy shit.
-嘿 兄弟 -你好吗 猛♥男♥
- Hey, man. - What's up, sexy?
-你在那边做什么呢 -我就知道能在这儿见到你
- What are you doing over there? - Yeah, I thought I'd see you here.
真的吗 我有那么好猜吗
Really? I'm that predictable?
-你就是 天啊 -我有点看不懂了
- You are. Oh, my God. - I don't know.
-这就跟那部电影一样 那部... -皮特
- This is like that movie. - The one where- - Pete.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
你要去见另外一个你了
You are about to meet you.
这种林赛·罗曼事件我可无法应付
This is some Lindsay Lowman shit I just can't handle.
皮特...
Pete…
这位是帕特里克
this is Patrick.
很高兴见到你 哥们
Nice to meet you, man.
帕特丽夏
Patricia.
你确定我们可以这么做吗
Are you sure we can do this?
谁会管呢
Who cares?
等等
Wait, wait, wait.
等一下 暂停
Hold on. Pause.
你会给男人寄你的内♥裤♥吗
You would mail men your panties?
会啊 最后我会和他们
Yeah, I mean, eventually, I would, you know, meet up with them
在星巴克见面
at, like, Starbucks or something like that,
然后...
and then…
我会去卫生间
Yeah, I would, like, go to the bathroom
然后出来把我的内♥裤♥给他们看
and then come out and present them to them.
上面会有一点汗 还湿湿的
Like, a little sweat in them, wet,
有一点尿在上面
just a little bit of pee.
亲爱的 你活得值了
Honey, you have lived.
你能挣多少钱
And what would you make?
我也不太确定 视情况而定 通常100美元吧
I don't know. It depends. Usually, like, 100 bucks.
我要开始做这一行了
Oh, I need to start doing that.
对吧
Right?
然后我遇到了现在的调♥教♥师 米拉女王
And then I met this domme, Mistress Mira,
该怎么说呢 有些事情就...讲得通了 你知道吗
and, I don't know, something just… clicked, you know?
她让我感觉...
She made me feel…
自信 强大而且有力量
confident and strong and powerful.
她让我有了前所未有的感觉
Everything that I really wasn't.
然后...
Then…
我也不知道 这份工作帮我赚了研究生学费
Yeah, I don't know. It helps pay for grad school.
你还需要上研究生学院干嘛 你现在做的听起来要精彩得多
What do you need grad school for? What you do now sounds so much better.
没错 我有时也会想这件事
- Yeah. - I think that sometimes.
你知道我不爱他 对吗
You know I don't love him, right?
我真的不爱他
Like, really, I don't.
我对他有爱意 但是...
I mean, I have love for him, but…
我真的没有爱上过他
I don't think I actually was ever really in love with him.
再和他回到医院里也是够奇怪的
It's wild to be back in the hospital with him.
在他从那该死的屋顶
We started dating, like,
摔下来的三周前我们就开始约会了
three weeks before he fell off that fucking roof.
我是泡新生的学姐
I'm a senior fucking a freshman,
所以我已经不怎么光彩了
so I'm already living in shame.
然后 糟糕
- And then, oops,
这个小男孩就躺在医院里了
this little boy's all laid up in a hospital,
无依无靠的
with no one around and no one to help.
我就想 "我不能让他孤零零的"
And I just thought, "I can't leave him alone."
所以我就没让他一个人
So I didn't.
我每天都和他一起坐着
I sat with him every day.
照顾他
I took care of him.
因为 怎么说呢 我觉得我应该这么做 也许很傻吧
'Cause, I don't know, I thought I had to, which is dumb, maybe.
我们谈恋爱的第一年 我是他的护士
The first year we dated, I was his nurse,
他的家人 他的一切...
his family, his everything…
但我从没觉得我是他女朋友
But I never really felt like his girlfriend.
这他妈是怎么回事
What the fuck is going on?
你这话什么意思
- What are you talking about? -
他长得和我差不多 他还叫帕特丽夏
He looks just like me, and his name is Patricia.
-他叫帕特里克 -别跟我装傻 渣男
- His name is Patrick. - Don't play dumb with me, fuckface.
怎么了 我们好过 那又怎么了
What? We dated. Who cares?
把帕特丽夏当成代号♥会更简单一些 怎么了
It was just easier to keep Patricia as the code name. Sue me.
我是不是给你们造成困扰了 我...
Am I causing a problem? I…
你有没有觉得我们长得一模一样
You don't think we look, like, exactly the same?
我知道 乔希有喜欢的类型
Yeah, Josh has a type.
我不知道这一点
Well, I didn't know that.
我不知道我就像乔希收养的
I didn't know I was one of many Little Orphan Annies
众多小孤女安妮中的一个 等他把我们玩够了之后
that Josh was picking up and then sending back to Miss Hannigan
就把我还给海妮肯院长
when he was done fucking our brains out.
皮特 别说了
Pete, stop.
我们第一次约会的时候 你说我没什么特别的
And I didn't know that, on our first date, when you said I wasn't special,
我还真不知道这是你心里话
you actually fucking meant it.
嘿
Hey.
我能亲你吗
Can I kiss you?
什么
Excuse me?
我能亲你吗
Can I kiss you?
为什么
Why?
你太好看了
You are so beautiful.
听起来你像是在自夸 但是...
It's like giving yourself a compliment, but…
谢谢你
thank you.
那一整年我们都没有做♥爱♥
You know, that whole year, we didn't have sex.
-什么 不会吧 -是真的
- What? No. - Yes.
-这家伙全身都打着石膏 -怎么会
- The man was in a full- body cast. - How?
我还能怎么做
I mean, what the hell was I supposed to do,
爬到他上面吗
climb on top?
对啊
Yeah.
我的天啊
Oh, my gosh.
等到他好点的时候
So, when he got better,
他就向我求婚了
he asked me to marry him,
这是典型的道格式白♥痴♥行为
which is a classic shit Doug move.
他觉得我一直待在他身边 这是他对我的回报
He thought he was rewarding me for all the time I stayed by his side.
这都什么跟什么啊
You know, it's so fucked up.
一个男人觉得他能给一个女人的 最珍贵的东西是
The most precious thing a man thinks he can give a woman
他的所有权 他的姓 还有他的保证
is his ownership, his name, his security.
搞错了吧
Hello?
我才是你的保证好嘛 你这白♥痴♥
I was your security, you clown.
但是那时候 我不知道怎么拒绝
But back then, I didn't know I could say no,
所以我同意了
so I said yes.
然后一个年纪很大的
And then a big, old,
真的挺老的
emphasis on old,
富豪说
rich man said,
"换我来照顾你吧"
Let me take care of you for a change.
之前从来没人这样说过...
And no one had ever said that to me before…
所以我离开了
so I left.
然后因为相反的原因 这段恋情也失败了 然后我就想
And then that went belly- up too, for opposite reasons, and I just thought,
"可能错不在他们 在我"
You know, maybe it's not them, it's me.
所以我去了一个修道院
So I went to an ashram
开始带着一袋又一袋的水晶 跑来跑去
and started carrying around bags and bags of crystals.
那你为什么这么做呢
So, what is that?
我也不清楚 它们会让我开心
I don't know. They make me happy.
有个人对我说
Someone said,
"来过一种不同的生活吧"
Come, live a different life,
然后我说...
and I said…
"好啊" 那句话我是真心实意说的
Yes, and it was an honest yes.
对许多人来说 我是个坏人
I look like a bad person to a lot of people,
但是我最终做了对自己最好的事情
but I finally did what was best for me.
是啊 我...
Yeah, I…
我觉得我不擅长照顾别人
I don't think I've ever really been good at caring for other people.
天啊
Oh, God.
我不是想把你从这个男人身边吓跑
I don't mean to scare you away from this man.
他是个好男人
He's a good man.
他是很不错的男人
As far as men go, he's quality beef.
他只是不是我的良配
He's just not my man.
但是 亲爱的
But, honey,
当年 在全身的石膏都卸下后 他在床上可是很威猛的
when that full- body cast came off, he really shut it down.
-对吧 -我的天啊
- Right? - Oh, my God.
那方面他的确很擅长