繁文琐事

Love you.
有闲着的销♥售♥员没
Any available clerk to receiving.
有闲着的销♥售♥员没
Any available clerk to receiving.
怎么了
What?
别 别这样
Just...don't do that.
我在吃冰淇淋 拜托
I'm eating an ice cream cone, man.
但你没有
But you're not.
行吧
Alright. Okay.
那个 什么
That's -- What?
不好意思 我们卖♥♥完了
I'm sorry, we're sold out.
卖♥♥完了 我们两天前订的婴儿床
Sold out? W-we ordered the crib two days ago.
你没来取货就取消了
When you didn't pick up your order, it canceled out.
也许你该两天前来拿
Maybe you should've picked it up two days ago.
我们两天前有点忙
Well, we were a little busy two days ago.
好了 婴儿床买♥♥好了
Okay. Guys, crib has been purchased.
在客服那儿等我们呢
It is waiting for us in customer service.
咱们平分付钱吗
You want to split it two ways?
好吧 付三分之一
Fine. Three ways.
就算之前准备都是我来做的
Even though I did all the research.
婴儿从那里出来要多久
How long does it take a baby to come out of there, anyway?
我不知道 我没当过爸爸
I don't know. I'm not a dad.
别问我
Hey, don't ask me.
西奥出生的时候 我喝多了
When Theo was born, I was too drunk
没去产房♥
to be in the delivery room.
怎么了
What?
没什么
Nothing.
我要出去走走
I need to take a walk.
我们去拿婴儿床
You know what?
怎么样
Let's go pick up that crib.
好啊
Yes.
我们总要有点用
Let's be productive.
啥
What?
我们不能这个时候离开 这是她的第三个孩子
Guys, we can't leave now. This is her third baby.
随时都可能生出来
It could just drop out at any time.
走吧 加里 我们走
Come on, Gary, let's go.
走吧 加雷
Come on, Gare.
我们的朋友在楼上要生孩子了
Our friend is upstairs about to have a baby.
我们在干什么
What are we doing?
我们应该在里面
We should be inside.
罗姆 支持我一回吧
Rome, back me up on this.
我告诉过瑞吉娜我想要一个孩子
I told Regina I want a baby.
兄弟
Dude.
不可思议
That's amazing.
我以为你和瑞吉娜结婚的时候说好了不要孩子
I thought when you and Regina got married, you said no kids.
你咋改变主意了
What made you change your minds?
我们没有说过
We didn't.
我知道了
I see.
兄弟
Oh, dude.
对不住了老兄
Yeah. I'm sorry, man.
我从没想过 我这么想要孩子
I just -- I just never thought I'd want it this much.
真要这样吗
You really gonna let this happen?
我有什么选择呢
What choice do I have?
如果她不想生我们就没办法有孩子
We can't have a baby if she doesn't want one.
我知道我知道 罗姆 抱歉
I know, Rome, and I'm -- I'm sorry,
待会再谈这个话题
and we're gonna circle back to this.
但是现在 我在跟你说
But right now, I'm talking to you.
我
Me?
是的 艾德
Yes, Ed.
你听见他说什么了吗 他想要孩子
You hear this guy? He wants a baby.
你有一个孩子 你在干嘛
You have a baby. What are you doing?
快进去
Get inside.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
艾德 别说了
Ed, stop!
别说了
Just...stop.
艾德 他在说什么
What is he talking about, Ed?
两年前 我开车带乔恩去切除的输精管
Two years ago, I drove Jon to get a vasectomy.
那是你的孩子
That is your baby.
所以一直以来 你都知道
So, this whole time, you knew.
是的
Yeah.
你为什么啥也不说
Why didn't you say anything?
因为我没想到会到今天这个地步
Because I didn't think that I would have to.
你自己说的 上次你不在那儿
You said it yourself, you weren't there last time.
但是这次你可以
But you can be there this time.
你听了我这么多废话
You take so much crap from me,
但是那是不会变的
and that's never gonna change,
你知道我爱你 这是你应得的
but you know I love you, and I know you deserve this.
所以你能不能快点去产房♥
So will you please get your ass up to that delivery room?
不要再后悔了
Don't regret any more of your life.
好吧 快去
Okay! Okay.
好 好的
Yeah. Okay.
走吧
Alright. Okay.
赶紧的
Yeah! Alright.
那这个婴儿床他必须付
Well, then he should definitely pay for more
不止三分之一的钱
than a third of this crib.
出去
Get out!
黛利拉 我知道你累了
Okay, Delilah, I know you're tired.
再用力一下
Just need another big push.
好 大力
Okay. Big push!
再大力
Big push!
用 用力就行
What -- whatever sized push you can do.
请 请 请*
* So please, please, please
让我 让我 让我*
* Let me, let me, let me
快了 快出来了吗
Very close. Oh. Is it close?
让我得到我想要的 *
* Let me get what I want
我做不到
I can't do it.
- 这一次 - 就快了
- * This time * - It's close.
快进 准爸爸
Get in there, Papa.
- 你在干嘛 - 就快了
- What are you doing? - You're close.
- 就快了 - 快了吗
- It's close. - Is it close?
来吧小黛 你一定行的
Alright, D. You've got this.
你不能在这
You can't be here.
不 没事的
No. It's okay.
孩子们不知道
The kids don't know.
但朋友们都知道了
But our friends do.
他们已经知道了
They already did.
- 你做得很好 - 好的
- You're doing great. - Okay.
好的 谢天谢地
Okay, thank God.
再用力一次
One more big push.
难道还有人要来吗
Unless there's someone else coming in?
好的 好的
Okay, okay.
所以 *
* So
我生命总算有一次 *
* For once in my life
来了 来了 你做到了 小黛
Here we go, here we go. You got it, D.
上帝会知道这是我的第一次 *
* Lord knows it would be the first time
好的
Okay.
上帝会知道这是我的第一次 *
* Lord knows it would be the first time
你想看看你的孩子吗
Do you want to meet your baby?
是个女孩
It's a girl.
让我 让我 让我 *
* Let me, let me, let me
- 得到我想要的吧 - 她好漂亮
- * Get what I want * - She's beautiful.
- 是个女孩 - 这一次
- It's a girl. - * This time
他们要从皮茨菲尔德的分店送来一个
So, they're sending one over from their store in Pittsfield.
我不知道是哪个更让我恼火
I don't know what pisses me off more,
是他们没有这款婴儿床了 还是打算
that they're out of this crib, or that they tried to
再送你个甜筒作为补偿
make up for it by buying you another ice cream cone.
难以置信
This is unbelievable.
没事的 明天下午就送到了
It's fine. It'll be here by tomorrow afternoon.
是啊 但我女儿今天就回家了
Yeah, but my daughter comes home today.
我连个婴儿床都不能为她备好
I can't even get her a crib.
我甚至不能叫她女儿
I can't even call her my daughter.
今晚我哄我儿子睡觉时