变种外星人（2001）

预备
话简在哪儿?
Where is the mic?
预备
话简在哪儿?
Where is the mic?
我头发怎么样，鲍勃?
How's my hair Bob?
就因为一条简短的通知赶到白宫
Down to White House on a short notice.
我今晚还有场约会呢
And 1got a hot date tonight....
准备好了?
We're ready?
好了
Okay
我的牙?
My teeth?
不，不好的
No, no okay
准备 四、三
Youre on in four, three,
摄像机 ~ 二
- - Camera rolll - Two--
大家好，这里是硕格轧。布尔维克
- Hello, 1am Signe Bullwinkel here
我现在正站在白宫屋顶
on top of the White House，
这里透露了某些非常施异的消息
where some very strange things have transpired.
总统好像被吃掉了
lt seems the President was eaten
被某种庞大的会飞的鼻子
by some kind of giant flying nose.
好
Well....
这本应是为失踪的宇航员厄尔。简森召开的欢迎会
This was supposed to be a celebration for lost astronaut Earl Jensen
然后突然之间就阅翻天了
but then all hell broke loose.
我的头发!
My hairl
这是什么?
What's this?
好像有个巨大的太空船
lt seems like some kind of giant space chunk has landed.
我尽量靠近点
Itry and get closer.
对不起，对不起，我是来报道新闻的
- Excuse me, excuse me, Im with the news.
小必点，寻子!
Watch it bitch!
别推了
Quit pushing.
我看见门开了
1 see a door opening，
船被军警包围了
and the ship is surrounded by military guards.
真是个胆小鬼
What a wuss.
现在某种可爱的类似于花村鼠的生物从飞船里出来了
- Well now it seems some cute little chipmunk has exited this strange craft.
我不知道发生了什么，天哪
1don't know what's going on!
简直是地狱!
lt's hell!
咀，你不能那么做
Hey, you can't do that,
他是我的制片人!
he's my producer!
我的摄影师死了!
My cameraman is dead!
完全不明白......这里完竟怎么了
1don't know what's wrong here.
我要离开这里
Phm getting out of herel!
变种外星人
二十年之前
一路顺风，厄尔
Best of luck, Earl.
谢谢你富巴博士
Thanks Dr. Frubar.
侈地
Daddy!
苑爸，和区爸，耶!
Daddy, Daddy, yayl
和爸爸，和爸爸，哇，哇!
Daddy, Daddy, whee, wheel
政!
ayl
爸爸，呼，呼!
Daddy, whee, wheel
耶，吗，虽!
Yay, whee, wheel
再见，乔西
Goodbye, Josie.
我爱你
1love you.
再见驳地
Goodbye, Daddy.
十三、 十二、 十一、 十
13, 12, 11, 10，
九，八，七，六
nine, eight, seven, six
五，四，三，二，一
five, four, three, two, one.
点火
Fire!
发动机在65%，三台发动机运转正常
Engines at 65%, three engines running normally.
分离成功
Separation complete.
进入轨道
He's in orbit.
控制台，出问题了!
Mission control, there's a problem.
我这发生了严重的燃料泄露!
lm showing a massive fuel leak!
是她干的
She did it!
她按了排出燃料的按钮
She pushed the fuel eject button.
把这个女孩赶出去
Get this girl out of here.
放开我
Let me go!
不是我♥干♥的
1didn't do it!
放开我
Let me go!
让我... ，
Let me....
厄尔，这里是富博士
Earl, this is Dr. F.
你也知道了，你的燃料一滴不剩了
As you can see, your fuel is totally gone.
发生了什么?
What happened?
恐怕是，厄尔，乔葛不小心按了排出燃料的按钮
Tm afraid, Earl Josie accidentally pushed the fuel eject button.
但我们正在研究一个解决方案
But we're working on a solution now.
再派一舟飞船来救我!
Send up a ship to save mel!
不行，厄尔
No can do, Earl.
就这么定了
Here's the deal.
我们已经没有办法救你了
There's no way we can save you.
看看给你的锦宫
Look in your secret pouch.
我们中断节目直播美国空间委员会的实况
We interrupt this program to go directly to the U.S. space capsule.
请听厄尔。简森的来自外太空的声音
Come in, Earl Jensen,in outer space.
美国人♥民♥大家好 "我是厄尔。简森
Hello America, my name is Earl Jensen.
我刚刚得知我的燃料没有了
lve just learned that my fuel is gone
我回不了地球了
and I cannot return to Earth.
但是不要为我感到遗憾
But don't feel sorry for me.
将生命献给祖国是我无上的荣誉
lt's an honor to give my life for my country.
好，上国旗
Okay, now the flag.
伟大的有远见的
And that great visionary leader
宇航局局长弗鲁巴博士
of the Department of Space, Dr. Frubar,
竟尽全力试图抒救我的生命
did everything in his power to save my life.
在他的持久不断鼓兽人心的领导下
And with his continued and inspiring leadership，,
对外层空间的征服与控制的胜利终将属于我们
the conquest and control of outer space will be ours.
但你们也有自己能做到的事情
But you can do something.
如果我们有足够的资金
f we had enough money for our operations，
我的宇宙之旅本应是万无一失
1would be safe and secure in space.
所以请敞开你们的心靡和钱包
So please open up your hearts and your pocketbooks
把钱送到宇航局
and send money to the Department of Space.
那么像这样的悲剧就不会再次发生
And another tragedy like this will never happen again.
等等，我看见它了
Wait 1 see it.
几乎... .
Almost....
知道了!
Got it!
再见，一路屁安
Farewell and God peed.
厄尔，是"一路平安
Earl that's "Godspeed ".
该死的!
Damn it!
见鬼，真是悲剧
Hell, what a tragedy.
再见了美国
Goodbye America，
再见了，我最亲爱的乔苗
and goodbye my dearest Josie.
我会回来的，富巴博士
Il be back, Dr. Frubar.
等着瞧
Count on it.
达比
Darby.
哦!
Ooh!
准备好，我们下去
Get ready，let's go down
Wait Darby, youre supposed to be working.
等等达比，我在工作呢
But Josie, we're in love.
乔西，别当流浪汉
Josie, don't be atramp.
乔萝，不要像荡♥妇♥似的，想想你的声誉
Think of your reputation.
乔葛，尽情享乐吧
Josie, grab all the pleasure you can.
生命太短了
Life's too short.
乔茜，你不想走上罪恶的道路 - 看看自己的内心，它在说...
- Josie, you don't want the path of sin and evil，- - Listen to your heart it's saying，
操♥我♥!
Fuck mel!
你想要他，乔苗!
You want him, Josie!
不，你在害怕1!
No, you're scared!
这是作摹! ，"浊跑，做个好女孩! "
lt's saying,"Run away, be a good girl
修女，你不想活的单调孤独毫无情趣吧
Sister girl you don't want to live a tedious life of boredom and solitude.
听我说乔东，我才知道什么最适合你和你宝贵的灵魂
Listen to me, Josie. 1 know what's best for you and your precious soul.
男人们想娶的是纯洁的女人
Men want to marry women who are pure.
假如你可以免费得到牛奶，为什么要买♥♥奶牛呢?
Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free?
真是一派胡言!
What a load of horseshit!
哪有人想娶一头奶牛呢?
Who wants to marry a cow?
想想你驳会说什么: 你如果不是在生活、就是死了
You know what your dad always said.Either you live or you die.
你♥他♥妈♥的知道什么?
What do you know?
你这个妓♥女♥、母狗、荡♥妇♥、垃圾
You are a whore, slut, bitch, street trash，
流误、变♥态♥!
gutter tramp, pervert!
你这个木头脑澎、石女、冰块、女同、老处♥女♥、性冷炎，和你的胡萝卜作伴去吧!